


Old Habits Die Hard

by Sour_Cherry



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Drug Use, F/M, Friendship, Love, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:02:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 64,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6370489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sour_Cherry/pseuds/Sour_Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Nathan catches a glimpse of a photograph of a lone blue butterfly in the school bathroom, the fondest memory of his past is triggered and he is engulfed by a calm so foreign to him it forces him to lower the gun barrel he had squarely aimed at Chloe Price’s stomach. But as quickly as this newfound peace engulfs him, it dissipates when he finds out who the photographer behind the blue butterfly photograph really is. His life is filled with yet another form of chaos but this time he welcomes it and Max finds out in the most difficult way possible that old habits die hard.</p><p>Set in an AU that occurs post episode 5, where Nathan's mother passed away when he was a child and Max chooses to sacrifice Chloe but finds her decision is in vain when Nathan's own volition is what stops him from shooting her best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Were Born

**Author's Note:**

> Essentially a newborn to this site but got inspired to create an account after falling in love with Life is Strange and the many brilliant fics about my favourite couple that could have been: Maxine Caulfield and Nathan Prescott. 
> 
> Thought i'd add my own into the mix :)! 
> 
> Each chapter is titled after a song and begins with a single line from that song that sets the overall mood of the chapter - the song from Chapter 1 is by Cloud Cult. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

_“Love your mother, yeah she’s a good one. She’ll build you armour; keep you warm as a hen”_

 

The plan was for her to sit idly by while her best friend, Chloe Price, drew closer to her ultimate demise at the hands of the school’s token poor little rich boy, Nathan Prescott. As much as it tore at her insides and left her in an emotional ruin, she accepted this plan and her best friend’s fate. Like clockwork, she captured the photograph of the blue butterfly with her old-time instant polaroid camera. The shot was just as beautiful as she’d remembered but this was harder to appreciate knowing that in just a few short moments, the girl she loved as a sister, a friend and confidante, would be gunned down.

The thought destroyed her and in a moment of sadness, instead of pocketing the photograph, she let it fall to the ground and failed to notice it travel underneath the cubicle door she drooped herself against. On schedule, she heard the door fly open, welcoming the deeply troubled Nathan Prescott into the female bathrooms. She heard his inane ramblings for the second time that week, castigating everyone around him in a desperate attempt to elevate his conscience. She knew he was troubled and unstable, it was evident enough for anyone to see. In deepest realms of her mind, she could not blame him for his maniacal behaviour and outbursts, given his obvious mental instability and the traumatising events Jefferson had subjected him to. But knowing that he would take away the only person she truly cared about was enough to cause him to deeply upset her.

Moments later she heard Chloe enter. She clutched herself in an attempt to restrain her use of the rewind powers she had at her disposal. Unbeknownst to her, Chloe slamming the entry door shut created an air current that blew the forgotten photograph toward Nathan’s shoes as he turned around to address Chloe’s rage.

 * * *

He caught the flicker of blue in the corner of his eye but chose to ignore it for the more immediate display of blue that was in front of him. He eyed the blue-haired punk menacingly; regretting the day he ever so much as brushed passed her at the Vortex Club party. He had gone rogue with this one and he should not have. Jefferson warned him that she would be a liability but out of desperation to appease the man he considered a father and mentor, he had gone ahead with dosing her anyway and now his mistake was coming at him and threatening his family.

She spat wanton abuse at him as he allowed the anger he felt in the pit of his stomach bubble. This feeling was all too familiar and he knew the repercussions of allowing this fire to swallow him. The gun in his pocket beckoned to him and he relished the moment where he could point it at her and turn her unbridled rage into fear. As their confrontation escalated, he pulled the gun out of his pocket, aiming at her and watching the fire in her eyes dissipate. Internally, his mind battled with his emotions, begging them to cease and crying for them to see reason. But the anger was too strong this time and he felt it overpower him the moment he put pressure on the trigger.

He caught a glimpse of the hint of blue in the corner of his eye again and without thinking, he cocked his head this time for a split second to see what it was. He spied the photograph lying innocently on the bathroom floor, its subject matter causing him to do a double take. He became mesmerised by the blue butterfly and allowed the surge of nostalgia he felt to overcome him. Despite the urgency of the situation, he allowed his mind to wander and soon, he became lost in his memories.

 * * *

_His five-year old hand reached out before him, smaller and more delicate, searching for the reassurance that immediate contact could bring him. Without fail, always without fail, he soon felt the grasp of his mother’s hand, tight and secure around his own. She led him toward the sunlight and he followed her obediently and without question. He would never question anything about his mother. How could he, when she had shown him nothing but love, affection and support from the day that he was born into this world?_

_As she propelled him forward by her lead, he ran his hands through the long grass that engulfed them, mystified by their picturesque surroundings. Nathan had always loved this field. There was no playground and no one ever ventured there save for he and his mother but it was open and beautiful and he could run through it forever and forget all of the times his father failed to grasp his hand._

_He made out a flash of blue in the corner of his eye and immediately released himself from his mother’s grasp to seek where it had originated from. Atop a long stem of grass, he spotted a blue butterfly, the fluttering of its wings had slowed down as it settled itself where it landed._

_“Mom look!” he exclaimed, drawing her attention toward the source of his excitement._

_She turned her attention to where her son pointed, a smile beginning to spread across her face._

_“Good find Nate! It’s beautiful!” She rummaged through the bag at her side and pulled out an old instant Polaroid camera. In one fluid motion she captured the small creature and showed Nathan the photograph. His steel blue eyes widened in excitement as he gazed upon the butterfly in the photograph and the butterfly in front of him._

_“Can I touch it?” he asked his mother earnestly, fascinated by the creature._

_Without a word, she moved closer to the butterfly, slowing her movements down until she looked as though she was almost gliding. She approached the creature and slowly extended her hand out, letting it sit there patiently. The butterfly drew closer and propelled itself onto the outstretched hand. His mother smiled and slowly moved her hand down to meet her son at eye level. He looked in wonder at the butterfly before him, allowing his curiosity to overcome him. Instead of mimicking his mother’s patient and gentle strides, he propelled his hand forward instantly, startling the creature and causing it to fly into the distance._

_He watched as it disappeared into the sunset, tears forming in his blue eyes. At such a young age he had grown oddly accustomed to disappointment. He hated the feeling but he was used to it. His chest grew tight and his breaths hitched in his throat, already anticipating the tears to fall down his cheeks. Before they could drop, he felt a warmth at his back as his mother engulfed him in her embrace._

_“Don’t worry Nate, sometimes when you love something you have to set it free. If they come back, then they’re yours”._

* * *  

His consciousness snapped him back into the harsh reality before him. The anger that had overpowered him moments ago had vanquished and the weight of the gun felt exceedingly heavy in his hand. He felt himself lower the barrel and allowed the weapon to drop on the floor, sliding next to the photograph.

He bent over and stared closely at the picture for a few minutes before pocketing it.

“What the fuck?” he heard the blue haired girl say as he lifted himself back up to her level.

“I have to go,” he responded, squarely meeting her gaze before brushing past her and outside into the halls of Blackwell Academy.

 * * *

He knew that this was where he would end up, but seeing the headstones around him, each displaying the name of a different Prescott, made him feel anxious about his decision to come here. He shook his head and continued forward until he stopped in front of a particular headstone.

Meredith Anne Prescott  
1969 – 2001

His eyes began to sting as a deep sadness enveloped him. She had been so alive in his memory just a moment ago; he could not fathom the fact that she was anything but underneath this cold, hard stone. He fell to his knees in front of the grave and wept. He clenched his fist and slammed it into the stone before him, unable to feel the pain of the fresh wound that opened amongst his knuckles and caused blood to trickle down his fingers.

After what seemed like hours, he struggled to pick himself up, brushing the dirt off his jeans and beloved red jacket.

“Get it together dammit,” he grumbled to himself before moving forward and refusing to look back.

 * * *

He awoke to the sounds of fists pummelling his door. He rose from his mattress, not bothering to put on a shirt. Before he could open the door fully, a man in a police uniform forced his way into the room, carrying a clear ziplock bag containing a gun.

His gun.

“Nathan Prescott,” he said in a loud, booming voice. “You are under arrest for the possession of a deadly weapon".

His mind clouded as he tried to register what was happening. He had barely uttered a word when his rights were swiftly read out to him and the handcuffs were placed on his wrists. He was lead outside of his room into the halls if the boys dormitory. Behind one of the police officers, he spotted a pair of cornflower blue irises staring at him on a face framed by mousey brown locks. He tried to turn his head but before he could examine clearly who it was, one of the officers dragged him away.

“Fuck” was the only word he could manage before his head was lowered into a police car.


	2. Edit the Sad Parts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a tad chapter happy while I was waiting for the site to grant me membership! 
> 
> Song is by Modest Mouse.

_“Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love. Sometimes i'm angry that I feel so angry"_

 

**Four months later**

“And that’s it for our last session Nathan. You should be proud of your remarkable progress”.

 Nathan rolled his eyes. He had made no progress and this quack knew it, he was just another one of his father's Yes Men, painting a rosy picture in the hopes of a quick payout. The gun, his arrest, the court dates and his confession about his involvement in the dosing of his fellow female classmates at the behest of Mark Jefferson, had all come down to this, four months of court-mandated therapy. The months had flown by, he carried on with his life as though nothing had changed, save of course for the weekly therapy visits he had been subjected to and just like that, he had been absolved (in the eyes of the law at least).

He spotted a rolled up newspaper on the table in front of him, catching a glimpse of the headline.

‘The Perks of being Above the Law and a Prescott’

 He could not blame the media outlets in Arcadia Bay, he had earned their ire fairly after all. He was the archetypal rich boy who had done fucked up things and walked away with a mere slap on the wrist. He took little comfort in the fact that he had committed his crimes in a drug addled state and under the duress of Mark Jefferson, who threatened to expose the sins of his troubled family. He could keep making excuses for his behaviour but this did not change the fact that he was a knowing accomplice and because of him, countless girls were unable to recall the time they went to a Vortex Club party that one night and ended up as unconscious tools in a deranged man's sick hobby.   

It did not change the fact that Rachel Amber was dead. 

He was not given any jail time, not even community service or house arrest. Just four months of court mandated therapy and a constant reminder of the sickening privileges money had afforded him.

No one found it fair and he could not blame them. He hated his father for taking away his true chance at absolution but he hated himself even more for knowing that deep down, he was well and truly relieved.

* * *

He bust through the glass doors of his therapist’s office, a fresh bottle of ‘court-mandated’ pills rattling in his pocket, waiting for the opportunity to numb him into oblivion. 

The brevity of the situation apparently held no bearing on his life save for his internal torment, which he always numbed with drugs or alcohol anyway. After his sentence hearing, he had anticipated his plethora of followers and friends to recognise him for the lowlife that he knew he was but alas, they remained supportive, constantly encouraging him to 'party on' again. With the exception of Victoria and Hayden, he questioned their motivations for encouraging his life to return to its normalcy. Did they truly have a stake in his wellbeing? Or did they simply want to secure the Vortex Club's funding for the next few years?  

Apart from Jefferson being behind bards, nothing had changed and he knew that this was not the absolution he sought, but he made no real effort to seek it. 

He got into his SUV and drove to school, trying to catch the remainder of his afternoon classes. The crowds of people around the school grounds disoriented him. He walked past them looking for a quiet reprieve from the noise and clamour of other students living their every day lives. He found a spot in a lone corner of the front lawn which was bathed in sunlight.

“Perfect,” he muttered under his breath. 

He walked towards the spot and lay down flat on his back, allowing the sunlight to soak through his clothing and skin.

“So how was therapy today?” said a familiar voice, the silhouette of its owner staring down at him.

He sat up quickly, looking up at his best friend Victoria Chase, her short, painfully stylish blonde hair rustling in the wind. She sat down cross-legged in front of him. 

“Same old… but at least I got a refill on these,” he grinned at her, taking the bottle of ‘court mandated’ pills out of his pocket and shaking them in front of her face. She laughed and snatched them out of his hand, popping two in her mouth and pulling out another two. She held them in her delicate hands and eyed his face expectantly. He opened his mouth, catching each pill as she carefully aimed at her target.

“Awesome, at least this will get me through photography. Jefferson’s replacement is such a bore, honestly,” she grumbled.

He inadvertently shuddered at the mention of Jefferson's name, unaware that he still possessed a semblance of fear associated with his former mentor. He ran his hands through his hair and collapsed back down, Victoria following in suit. He reached into his other pocket and pulled out his most precious keepsake, the photograph of the blue butterfly. He had been carrying it around religiously for four months, associating a measure of comfort and ease with it.

 He held it up towards the sky and stared as the sunlight illuminated it.

“Wait, what the fuck? Where did you get that?” Victoria asked, sitting back up and snatching the picture from his hand. 

He snatched it back from her like a possessive parent and clutched it tightly in his hand for fear that it would part from him again.

“I found it in the bathrooms, what’s it to you?”

She raised a questioning eyebrow at him, “I’m just a little bit confused as to why you are carrying one of Crackfield’s lame Polaroids!”

 “Who?”

“Max Caulfield, that pixie hipster bitch in my photography class!”

Nathan searched his mind, trying to place an image with the name being venomously uttered by Victoria’s mouth. He remembered her pointing Max out in the midst of one of her bitching sessions, but he was always too blazed to take notice of anything other than the fact that she just looked like a generic hipster with brown hair and a freckled face.

“Wait, how do you know she took this?” he asked suddenly.

Victoria laughed, “Umm who else would produce stupidly ironic retro Polaroids like these? She is literally the only one I know who still uses that backwards ass camer- wait where are you going?!”

 * * * 

Nathan had taken off before she could complete her hourly rant. He had only one objective in mind and it was to find out why this photograph was where it was at the exact time he had laid eyes on it. He burst through the front entrance of the school's main building, scanning the faces around him, searching for a girl with short brown hair and a freckled face. He turned right and walked down the corridor of lockers closest to the photography classroom. He spotted her almost instantly, taking the old Polaroid camera out of her locker and clutching it closely at her side.

He walked over, not sure why his movements were fierce and aggressive. He felt his nerves trying to get the better of him as he clutched the photograph. Stopping directly beside her locker he stood over her imposingly, his height affording him an intimidating advantage.

“Did you take this?” he asked her abruptly, shoving the photograph in her face.

He heard her breath hitch and her eyes widened. Nathan could not help but notice that they were cornflower blue, much more welcoming and inviting than his own steely blue, almost grey eyes. They created a warm sensation in his stomach which caused him to momentarily lose his train of thought. The feeling was fleeting and almost immediately his mind took him back to the cornflower blue eyes he noticed were staring at him during his arrest four months ago. The puzzle slowly taking form in his mind.  

Trying to regain her composure, she stood up straight and closed the her locker. 

“Yes, I did," she said calmly. "Why do you have it?”

Memories of that day that he normally kept locked in the back of his mind rapidly began to flood through him. She had opened the floodgates and there was nothing he could do right now to calm the storm that began to resonate within him.

“I think you know why I have it."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she said defiantly. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”

She tried to move past him, ignoring the look of anger plastered on his face. He slammed his hand into her locker and went after her, catching up to her easily with his long legs. He grabbed her roughly by the arm and dragged her into the nearest empty classroom, locking it behind them.

“You were there that day weren’t you? Why the fuck were you there?”

 “I-I don-“

“Was it you who told the pigs about the gun? They never would have believed that punk bitch if it was just her word against mine.”

They stared each other down for a long time, each daring the other to back away first. 

“No, I didn’t tell them…” she uttered, pausing before she spoke up again, “Chloe did actually, but you can bet your ass that I corroborated everything she said.”

“Fucking nark,” he said, clearly agitated. “I dropped the gun, couldn’t ya just let it fucking go”.

“Let it go Nathan? Are you fucking kidding me?"

A heavy silence filled the room, both of them trying to process this interaction and come to terms with the feelings they were expressing to one another.

Minutes had gone by before Max decided to speak up again. 

"What difference did it make anyway? You hurt so many people and four months later, here you are standing in front of me, the same sick person with the same dilated pupils. Stop trying to act like anything that happened changed your life." 

He looked up, startled at what had just come out of her mouth.

“Excuse me? What the f-“

“The fuck did I just say? You heard exactly what I said.”

The force of her words pushed him back until the back of his legs came into contact with a nearby desk. She was right, everything she said he had been thinking just moments ago. But hearing it come from her mouth enraged him. She was judging him, and Nathan hated it when people judged him. Allowing his anger to guide him, he pulled her roughly so that she was only mere centimetres away from his face. The smell of lilac overcame him as he searched her eyes for a reaction. She looked at him defiantly but her mouth betrayed her as she chewed nervously on her bottom lip. 

“You sanctimonious little bitch…” he whispered menacingly in her ear, taking in more of her scent. He was angry at himself for even noticing what she smelled like and angry at her for actually evoking these feelings within him. He was not supposed to care what this nobody thought of him; she was not even an acquaintance. But her words affected him in a way he never imagined possible and he could not fathom why.

“Let me go Nathan, now.”

He held onto her arm for a few moments, knowing that she was probably starting to bruise with every second that passed by. Their eyes met and he tried to hold her stare, unexpectedly she managed to overpower him causing him to be the first to look away. 

He let her go and she quickly gathered her camera and bag, turning to walk out of the classroom. 

“Stay away from me and my friends Nathan. We want nothing to do with you,” she said before exiting.

He almost stopped her from leaving. He did not want more answers, he did not need more answers.He just did not want to be alone with his thoughts. 

She had given him exactly what he thought he deserved but he did not expect to be left in an emotional ruin because of it. All of the feelings he had numbed with the ‘court mandated’ pills bubbled back onto the surface, immediately suffocating him. He thought that confessing would bring him ultimate absolution but how could it when he did not suffer any true punishment. He did not pay for anything he had done and now she was making him pay. 

He pulled out the photograph from his pocket again, crushing it in his hands. The venom that the photographer had just spat at him engulfed the feelings of comfort and calm that he had associated with it.

It was useless to him now.


	3. Composing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all of the positive feedback!! You've all been so welcoming and amazing :)!!
> 
> Sorry if Nathan comes across as a little too American Psycho in this chapter ahah!
> 
> Song from this chapter is by Boys Night Out.

“ _Its all about the song in my head, the one where the audience is all dead”_

“Crap, what the hell was that?!” Max whispered to herself as she frantically made her way back to the dorms, seeking the comfortable solitude of her room.

All of the bravado and adrenaline she had possessed just mere moments ago had begun to slowly dissipate from her veins as she came to a slow realisation of what had just transpired. For four months she had managed to successfully evade any form of contact with the troubled Prescott. While she had made a conscious effort to avoid him, she knew that she did not need to bother - their friends, interests and lives were so vastly different from one another that he had absolutely no reason to interact with her in any capacity. She never expected that their first interaction in this timeline would result in an emotionally draining confrontation that she never could have prepared for.

She sunk down into the neatly made bed, opting to lay on her side, and curving her body inward so that her knees rested close to her abdomen. She remembered her father always laughing upon seeing her in this position, referring to it as ‘Max’s pouting position'. She could not help but note that ‘pouting’ seemed largely inadequate in the face of what she was dealing with now. She felt as though she were watching herself from outside of her body, her mouth acting independently from her brain as she censured Nathan in the harshest way possible.

When the news of his confession had reached her ears, Max had felt a strange relief wash over her. It was as though all of the emotional trauma she had experienced from jumping between alternate timelines was finally going to pay off in the best way possible. Nathan had stopped himself from killing her best friend through his own volition and had told the authorities about Jefferson and the darkroom.

Unlike Chloe, she was satisfied with the punishment Nathan had received, thinking that incarceration of any kind would only compound the damage to his mental state. There were also a number of mitigating factors driving his actions that she had witnessed herself and as hard as she tried, it was knowledge of this that prevented her from personally categorising him as the cold hearted criminal Chloe perceived him to be.

In another timeline, she had read his correspondence with his father, it was cold and unforgiving, almost as though he were dealing with an employee that had done a bad job and not the son that he had sired into this world. She understood why he likened Jefferson to a father figure. Despite his deranged intentions and the fact that he was preying upon Nathan’s emotions to gain access to his family’s fortune, he was the only one who had paid Nathan the semblance of recognition that he had so deeply craved. More importantly, she had heard the things he muttered to himself when he thought nobody was listening.

_My life sucks._

_Everybody hates me._

_Everybody uses me._

_I’m sorry._

It took her only a few weeks after the fact to realise that despite Jefferson being arrested, nothing had truly changed – Kate was still depressed at the realisation of what had happened to her and Rachel Amber was still dead. Therapy also seemed to hold no bearing on the way that Nathan chose to live his life either. He still continued to perpetuate the same hedonist lifestyle without a care in the world and still treated the people around him like they were tools that were placed on this earth for the sole purpose of his entertainment. She should have known better than to think all of Arcadia Bay’s problems could be wrapped into one little neat package and tucked away.

Seeing him approach her in the halls, slouched and filled with aggression, triggered a rage inside of her she did not even know existed. He had given himself a chance at redemption but instead of changing into the person she knew he could be, he opted to waste it. All of his past actions replayed in her mind like a montage and before she could ascertain why she cared so much, she threw the same amount of disdain at him that he had given her.

Why did this affect her so much? She should be happy that her best friend was still alive and Jefferson was locked away. Nathan had given her a chance to live her life in blissful ignorance but she had thrown that back in his face much like the chance he had given himself to be a better person. Maybe they were just as bad as each other, she remembered herself thinking before allowing fatigue to overcome her.

She woke up early the next morning still in yesterday’s garb. She turned her body around to get a glimpse of the time on her phone. Feeling a sharp pain, she sat up slowly and rolled her head around, trying to ease the stiffness of her neck. She reached for her phone, blinking as she tried to focus her eyes on the time. It was 6:11 am, giving her plenty of time to do as she wished before classes started. Debating on whether to go back to sleep or satisfy the hunger she felt resonating in her stomach from having skipped last night’s dinner, she opted for the latter - placing her fists on the mattress and pulling herself up from the bed.

“I need comfort food,” she told herself, mouth beginning to salivate at the thought of a warm short stack lathered in butter and maple syrup. Thoughts of yesterday’s events still nagged at her cognizance but she chose to push them back farther into the deeper realms of her mind. She exited her room, towel and shower caddy in hand, trying to keep her thoughts focused on the short stack.

* * *

_Fixation._

It was one of Nathan’s biggest issues. He fixated on his father’s hatred for him. Every degrading word he had ever uttered to his son played in Nathan’s head like a harsh and unforgiving tune, guiding his actions.

He walked aimlessly through the streets of Arcadia Bay, allowing his hatred and anger to adopt a new form as his mind fixated on his exchange with Maxine Caulfield. Nothing that she said was news to him, he had already thought the very same things about himself but her words cut into him more than any knife could. It was one thing to chastise himself in his mind but it was another to have someone else solidify the very reasons why he hated himself. Instead of these thoughts being fleeting incantations of his brain that he could easily silence, they had been spoken out loud by her and were now very real products of the universe.

Hiding behind the false absolution that therapy had afforded him was no longer an option. Rachel Amber was dead because he willingly handed Jefferson the final needle that killed her. He hammered the last nail in her coffin, hindering her ability to live the life that she cherished every second of. Meanwhile, he continued to live his own, every second of it leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and amplifying the harsh, unjust reality that he lived in. It was a sick joke, he thought to himself.

He lost count of how many hours he had been walking or where his steps were leading him but he was beyond caring at this point. He brought the joint he was holding in between his fingertips up to his mouth, inhaling as hard as he could before lazily bringing his arm down again. Since the incident, he had tried to stop smoking bud. It sparked emotions within him that turned him into an erratic mess but ultimately, his resolve had been weak and the reality check he received from Max was too much to face while sober.

_BEEEEEEEPPPPPPP_

The sound of a loud car horn startled him, waking him from his trance and pulling him back into reality. His mind was foggy but he managed to comprehend the grey colouring of the sky, telling him that it was very early in the morning. He took in his surroundings, finding himself standing outside of the town’s beloved Two Whales diner. The large, garish neon whale sign that sat atop the diner entranced him as he tried to supress the giggles he felt on the tip of his tongue. The growl of his stomach interrupted his amusement like a rubber band had just been snapped on his wrist.

“I’m hungry,” he muttered to himself before stepping off the curb.

_BEEEEEEEEP_

Another car horn blared through the crisp autumn air. This time, the offensive sound had been directed at him as his body came close to colliding with an oncoming car. He looked at the angered driver and laughed. He was unsure why but he continued to laugh as moved back onto the curb, allowing the driver to pass him and scream obscenities through his half-opened window.

“Fuck!” Nathan yelled gleefully. “I’m losing my fucking mind."

He discarded the joint in his hand before sinking down onto the pavement. He reached into his pocket and rolled himself another joint, inhaling every last bit it had to offer. He brought his knees up to his chest and leant his elbows on them, burying his face into his hands. He closed the gaps of his fingers so that not one ounce of daylight touched his face. He had made this mistake before, thinking the darkness would bring him a reprieve from the turbulence in his mind but it only illuminated his mistakes further. It was the reason he had not been able to sleep in years without the aid of sleeping pills.

Almost instantly, flashes of a room so desolate began to emerge from his mind, along with Jefferson casually flicking the staff of a needle. He saw blonde hair, caked in soil and the harsh gaze of cornflower blue eyes. A distant voice repeated the same words:

 _"Here you stand in front of me, the same sick person with the same dilated pupils_."

Not wanting to remain in the darkness, he stood up abruptly and clutched his chest - suddenly realising that the rate of his heartbeat was rapidly increasing with every strangled breath he was taking.

“Fuck fuck fuck FUCK”, he exclaimed frantically as beads of sweat started to drop from his forehead. Knowing this feeling all too well, he peered down at the discarded cigarettes beside his shoe, he had overindulged yet again.

The cars continued to speed by on the road in front of him while he looked around for someone that could help him ride out his high. His eyes wandered to the diner across the road, shocked at what he saw before him. Rachel Amber stood on the other side of the busy road; a few strands of her long, blonde hair were tucked behind her left ear and her red flannelette shirt lazily swayed around her figure in the autumn breeze. She held the same relaxed expression he knew all too well and raised her arm, her palm opened toward his direction.

He felt his heartbeat start to slow at the realisation that she was beckoning to him. The noises around him had vanished and all that he could focus on was Rachel and her outstretched hand, offering him a way out.

He stepped off the curb.

* * *

As Max exited the bus, she looked upon the Two Whales diner and smiled, unable to hide her excitement at the prospect of having pancakes in her belly in just a few short moments. She was such a kid, she thought to herself as she took measured steps toward the entrance of the diner. Noticing a lone figure in the corner of her eye, she turned her head in its direction, eyes widening when she saw Nathan Prescott standing across the street from her.

Something about him seemed off. Well more than usual, she added to herself. His eyes were vacant as he kept his gaze firmly locked ahead, not noticing her presence. Evidently, the cars that were flying by in front of him held no bearing on his present consciousness either as he took a step off the curb just moments before a speeding car turned the corner and drove squarely towards him.

“S-shit”, she heard herself say as adrenaline instantly filled her body and propelled her towards her dazed classmate.

The next few moments played in Max’s mind as though she were casually viewing a slideshow. She saw a picture of herself sprinting toward him, faster than she ever thought her legs could carry her. She saw her shoulder colliding with his abdomen as she launched them both back onto the safety of the sidewalk. She saw the speeding car narrowly missing them while they are momentarily suspended in the air, bodies pressed together just before they come into contact with the pavement.

She was no longer able to see anything but white as a sharp pain attacked the back of her head. In the distance, she heard somebody scream her name, the sound slowly ripping into her consciousness. Max began to open her eyes slowly, trying to discern why she felt a weight pressing down onto her lower body and soon she found herself staring directly into a pair eyes as light and sharp as icicles. Recollections of what had just happened slowly start to piece itself together in her brain    

Then she saw him clearly, Nathan Prescott directly above her – his upper body being held up by his arm while his lower body laid limp on hers and his face only inches away from her own. The space between his fair eyebrows was creased in worry as his eyes search hers for any sign that she could give him. His breathing was ragged and irregular emphasising the panic in his countenance.

She opened her mouth in an effort to speak but her body informed her that she was not ready when no words came out of her mouth. Noticing a stray lock of his dirty blonde hair fall to his face, she raised her arm slowly, brushing it away in a gesture she did not completely comprehend or understand.  

Max spied his jaw clench at her touch, his gaze intensifying. She felt a drop of liquid fall onto her cheek and within seconds his face was buried in her shoulder, his body heaving as barely audible cries started to escape from his mouth. Without thinking, she moved her right arm and cupped the back of his neck with her hand. She could feel the words she wanted to say earlier begin to form on her tongue but she swallowed them back down, giving him the greatest gift she could have in that moment.  

* * *

The next day during lunch period, Max breathed a sigh of relief as she lowered herself onto a bench in front of the girl’s dormitory, partly because her morning classes were over but mostly because she had successfully avoided contact with Nathan Prescott all day. Ordinarily, she would have her lunch on the lawn or in the cafeteria but neither place was safe for her today. She was not ready to address what had happened yesterday morning, how could he when she barely even knew what had transpired herself?

Stubbornly, Max refused all of Nathan’s attempts to take her to the hospital. She reasoned that the pain was not something a few ice cubes couldn’t heal, much to his protestations. Truthfully, she just wanted to remove herself from the situation as quickly as possible.

“Dammit, I didn’t even get my short stack,” she whispered to herself as she reached into her bag and pulled out her earphones. She plugged the jack into her phone and pressed play, the soft sounds of an acoustic guitar filling her ears. As she started unwrapping the sandwich that she had on her lap, she was unable to hear the footsteps that approached her from the side, startling her when she felt someone lower themselves to sit directly next to her.

Nathan Prescott cocked his head towards her, expression blank as he reached over her and pulled an earphone out of her ear, placing it into his own. She just stared at him, dumbfounded and unsure of what to say.

“I should have known you’d be listening to this acoustic indie crap,” he told her, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

In a huff, she yanked the cord aggressively, dragging the earphones down and out from each of their ears.

“Stop listening to it then,” she said, inwardly cursing herself for not being able to conjure up a more witty retort.

Annoyed, he rubbed his ear and put his hands into his pockets as he shifted his attention towards the empty space in front them.

They sat in silence for a while, Max feeling more and more discomfort as each second dwindled by. Any bystander would laugh at the contrast between the two: Nathan staring calmly ahead of him, hands in his pockets with a neutral expression plastered on his face while Max was fidgeting with her hands and bouncing her knee so uncontrollably that her sandwich fell from her lap and onto the ground below them. He finally spoke before she could bend down to pick it back up.

“Thank you,” he said coolly, not taking his eyes off the space in front of them.

She looked at him curiously, watching his chest slowly rise and fall with each breath.

Unable to stop herself, the word vomit sitting at the tip of her tongue came barrelling out of her mouth, “Noyoudontneedtothankmeitsokayreally.IshouldprobablyapologiseforwhatIsaidtheotherdayanywayI-“

She stopped to take a breath.

Thankfully, he showed no signs of interrupting her diatribe so she continued.

“I don’t know why but I just let everything get the better of me that day. I felt something build up inside of me like it was ready to explode. I just had to let it out, you know. Kinda like-“

“Sex?” he interrupted nonchalantly. 

“L-like w-w-what?” she sputtered. 

He looked at her, expression soft for a brief moment before it took the form of his trademark smirk.

“Actually, you wouldn’t really know anything about that anyway, would ya Caulfield?” he snickered.

She could not let Nathan Prescott outwit her again, she thought to herself as she tried to search her brain for an equally jarring response.

He continued to laugh triumphantly at her silence, the sound echoing in the crisp air that engulfed them and suddenly, she was unsure of whether her she was silent because she could not think of anything to say or because she wanted to listen to his laughter for a little while longer, the sound more melodic to her than the guitars she had been listening to just moments ago.

She joined him in his laughter, no longer able to stave off its infectiousness. Her eyes drifted down to the sandwich she left on the ground, untouched. 

“What is it with you and interrupting my meals Prescott?”


	4. Don't Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to everyone for their kind comments and kudos!! 
> 
> You guys are awesome. End of. 
> 
> Song for this chapter is by: The Duke Spirit.

_“You drugged my will with a broad acre smile. Who gave permission to drive me this wild? Oh the longing is always so-so, oh the longing is always so-so”_

Nathan had interacted with Max more times this week than he had seen Victoria. Their first lunch together had been last Wednesday afternoon, and now it was Tuesday of the following week and he could safely say that he had seen and spoken to her every day since.

The Thursday evening following their lunch, he stopped by her room in the hopes of ‘getting her opinion’ on the latest album of an indie band he knew that she liked, after listening to them for the first time ever that very morning.

The following Friday night, Hayden had suggested he and Nathan watch a movie while getting blazed. Luckily for him - earlier that day, Nathan had gone ‘out of his way’ to get Max’s opinion on a sci-fi movie he knew she had seen.

Mathematics had always been a subject that he had relatively little trouble with but on Saturday afternoon, he found himself simply ‘unable’ to answer any question on the latest worksheet they had been given to complete over the weekend. It was lucky for him Max had been available to tutor him.

On Sunday morning, he discovered that his camera had ‘mysteriously’ broken so he begged her to go camera shopping with him. Taking advantage of her expertise in photography to help him decide which model would suit his tastes.

The following Monday morning, he had decided to go to the Two Whales for breakfast where the waitress ‘accidentally’ served him two orders of short stack pancakes. Out of the kindness of his heart, he called Max to come and join him, swearing to her that the waitress had gotten his order wrong.

 Now it was a Tuesday afternoon and he found himself in his dorm room, holding his new camera with an outstretched arm and pointing it directly at his face. Unsure of how to frame the shot and uncomfortable with the idea of enacting a pose, he pressed the shutter release button before he could overthink anything. Jogging to his laptop, he plugged his camera into the USB port and loaded the image onto it.

He cringed upon seeing his own face enlarged on the screen.

“S-shit… am I really going to go through with this?” he asked himself through gritted teeth.

Backing away from his laptop, he collapsed backwards onto his large king-sized bed. He felt heat rise to his cheeks at the thought of showing his ‘selfie’ to her. Even he had to admit to himself that his antics were getting ridiculous and there was no way she was stupid enough to not pick up on what he was doing.

He tried not to over analyse why he consistently sought her attention but he was aware of how he felt when he was around her and it was not a feeling that he wanted to let go of so easily. She was not around him out of habit like Victoria and Hayden, nor did she expect anything from him like his fellow Vortex Club members did. In fact, he was the one constantly asking things of her but she never once turned him down or pushed him away. Deprivation was not something that he was accustomed to, chasing the things that made him happy at every opportunity he could muster, and he was not about to stop at Max Caulfield.

She made him feel a calm and contentment that only drugs had afforded him in the past. A few minutes with her made him forget about everything and suddenly, he was at peace with whom he was. At the same token, she constantly had him second-guessing who she was. Her interests and tastes were pretty generic hipster, which he had ascertained much earlier in their acquaintance but he could never read her or predict how she would react to any given situation. One minute she was cursing his very existence in an empty classroom, the next she was cupping his head and letting him cry into her shoulder on a public sidewalk. He had experienced life with her in a way that he never had before and he found it exhilarating.  

He sighed to himself as he examined the few cracks that were on the ceiling above him, following each single line with his eyes until it branched off into two. He already knew how he felt; the words did not need to be spoken out loud for him to clarify.

He already knew.

He got up from his bed and leant on his desk just above his laptop, one hand trying to locate the ‘print’ button on the screen. He pressed it without any further hesitation and collected the newly printed photograph from his state-of-the-art printer, only stopping to take one breath before he exited his room.

* * *

Nathan wanted to die in the ten excruciating minutes it took Max to examine his ‘selfie’, seeing her bite the inside of her cheek in an attempt to suppress laughter.

 “U-um, its uhh nice?” she managed, with great effort.

“Fuck you, Caulfield,” he replied indignantly, snatching the photograph out of her hand and opening her door to walk out.

 “W-wait no!” she laughed as she grabbed his arm and pulled him back inside of her room.

He refused to meet her eyes, instead choosing to focus his attention toward the wall of selfies just above her bed. How did she manage to take these without looking sleazy? He constantly poked fun at her propensity to capture self-portraits, so used to being around Victoria and her cruel jibes about Max’s chosen medium, but even he had to admit that she made something that would otherwise be associated with superficiality, look like art.

“I’m sorry” she continued. "Really, Nathan, I didn’t mean to act like a jerk. This was just so unexpected, I mean I’ve seen your work before and its amazing! I just never imagined you’d want to add a selfie to your portfolio.”

 “I’m trying to… diversify,” he told her, still refusing to meet her gaze.

She clicked her tongue and took a seat on the edge of her bed, pulling him to sit next to her. He could not help but notice that their knees were touching, his stomach started to churn involuntarily.

Why are you making such a big deal about this idiot? He thought to himself, trying to ignore the friction she was causing as she nervously bounced her knee next to his. He would wager that in terms of sex, he had well and truly exceeded Max Caulfield’s experience, doubting that she had even had previous experiences to begin with and yet, the simple contact of her knee against his had him on the brink of hyperventilation while she sat there entirely unfazed.

“Well I think its great Nathan, honestly. I love that the shot is primarily in greyscale. It really highlights your own personal touch. Can I ask one question though?”

“Spit it out Caulfield.”

She held the photograph up so that it his face was side by side with hers and puckered her lips.

“What’s with the duck face?”

"Wow you are such a bitch today!” he replied, clutching his chest and feigning hurt.

Thinking fast, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a photograph of her while her lips were still puckered.

“Oh this one is a keeper! It should definitely go on your selfie wall, Caulfield!”

“H-hey! Delete that! Prescott, I’m serious, delete it,” she said, swatting at him in an effort to steal the phone from his grasp.

He stood up and held the phone above his head, knowing that she would not be able to reach it.

“You are such a jerk!” she grumbled, falling onto her bed into the foetal position with her back to him.

“Stop pouting you hippie,” he laughed. “I won’t show it to anyone but it makes for great leverage. Better do what I say from now on.”

“You’re gross,” she groaned.

“Yes, because I’m just dying to use you for that skinny little hipster body of yours.”

He had said it with sarcasm, trying to make her think that he was joking but knew deep down that he had meant what he said. Her curves were not as defined as some of the other girls he had been with and she had little no sense of style but it would be unfair to say that she was not beautiful in her own right. She had soft and delicate features that framed her narrow face perfectly and were complimented by a light spatter of freckles populating her cheeks and the thin bridge of her nose. Her lips were coloured a soft-pink hue and came together in a natural pout. But her strongest feature had been large, cornflower blue eyes, making Nathan feel as though he were staring into a crystal lake when he looked at her.

Realising that he had been quiet for too long, he moved to sit on the edge of her bed.

“Max?”

He saw her shoulders perk up and she turned to look at him.

“You called me Max?” she asked softly.

“Huh? U-uh yeah, I guess I did,” he replied not even realising that he had used her first name to address her.

“Listen,” he continued. "Do you want to do something this Friday?”

Her eyes widened as she opened her mouth to speak but remained silent. She looked down at her hands as though reading the lines on her palm would give her the answer she was searching for.

“Y-you mean you and m-me?”

“No, me and your one-eyed friend over there,” he said nodding towards the teddy bear at the foot of her bed. She did not react to his half-hearted attempt to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation, still concentrating on her hands and refusing to look at him.

“I-I… wait,” she said, finally meeting his gaze. "Did you say this Friday?”.

“Yeah.”

“I um… I can’t. I’m going to the drive-in with Warren. There’s a Planet of the-“

“Warren?” he interrupted

“Y-yeah…”

“ What? You are going out with Warren fucking Graham? Why would you go anywhere with that science obsessed freak? He is such a fucking-”

“Stop Nathan! He’s a really good friend of mine!” she replied defensively.

His anger began to erupt inside of him like a loud crack of thunder so he clenched his fists in an effort to contain it. The thought of her spending an evening with any guy other than him had affected him more deeply than he had anticipated. So used to getting his way, he never once thought about the prospect of Max not feeling the same way about him as he did her, let alone her considering Warren a better friend than him. Nathan had grown accustomed to being disappointed by his father but with Max, he felt as though his chest were going to explode.

“What-the-fuck-ever,  _Caulfield_ ,” he said, accentuating her name in a harsh tone. "Have fun at your fucking monkey movie.”

He could not look at her as he stormed to her door, slamming it behind him – unable to notice her flinch when he addressed her as Caulfield again. 

* * *

Max lay flat on her back, watching the smoke emanating from Chloe's doobie as it rose in one long cloud of white before dissipating slowly into the air. She had noticed that the smell no longer bothered her, how could it when she had spent so much time with Chloe? She lay on her side and looked at the blue haired punk beside her, her chest slowly rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern with each puff she inhaled. 

I'm glad you're alive, she thought to herself as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. 

"What's on your mind, Maxi-Pad?" Chloe asked her without shifting her eyes from the ceiling above. 

Max sighed, "I don't know just...thinking." 

"What a shock. You're always thinking! Maybe you should stop." 

Chloe extended the rolled up green she had in her hand towards Max, gesturing for her to try it. 

"Chloe, you know I don't -" 

"Come on, Max! Aren't artists supposed to be free? Why don't you live a little! Have a smoke, get laid - hell, go on a fucking date or something." 

Max laughed, used to Chloe chastising her for her incredibly sensible life choices. 

She could go on a date if she wanted to right? She thought, trying to reason with herself. Her mind wandered to a certain tall and fair-haired wrecking ball that had barreled into her life so abruptly, she often likened him to the tornado that once threatened her hometown. 

In the span of a week, they had spent nearly every day together - each meeting borne from a more ridiculous reason than the last. Max wasn't an idiot, she knew that Nathan was finding any excuse he could to be around her but she had been so sure he was just trying to make it up to her for pulling him out of the way of oncoming traffic. She wanted to tell him he didn't need to bother but held her tongue, knowing how fragile and quick to anger he was. 

But something had been different about him when he paid a visit to her room the other night. She could not put her finger on it but his demeanor seemed softer somehow, and he had actually addressed her as 'Max' instead of 'Caulfield'.

Everybody in her life called her ‘Max’, even going so far as to assign her a wide array of pet names, she thought to herself while cringing inwardly at the crass nickname Chloe had just appointed her. It shouldn’t have startled her when Nathan casually referred to her as ‘Max’, but it made her feel that their interaction had grown more personal and she couldn't pinpoint a reason why. And when he had asked her to do something with him on Friday night, instead of just demanding her presence somewhere, his sincerity had left her at a loss for words.

Was it a date? Was Nathan Prescott actually going to ask her on a date? Surely not, she thought. He could have any girl at school he wanted to and she was almost certain that he possibly already had. As much as Max wanted to too, she could not deny that he was certainly handsome enough – in the manicured and pretty boy type of way. His hair, dirty blonde in colour, was always more impeccably styled than hers, complimenting his high cheekbones and steely blue grey eyes. He was tall, lean and his thin lips were always curved into a smirk that a lot of girls at their school had fallen a victim to.

However, regardless of her thoughts about his physicality, she could not let herself be counted as one of those victims. She couldn’t allow herself to forget that she had already been one of his victims, in a literal sense. Max started recalling all of her prior interactions with Nathan before the storm, every single one more antagonizing and abusive than the last. She had truly hated him before she received a voicemail he had left her, pleading for her forgiveness for all of the things he had done.

It was then that she had seen the dichotomy that was Nathan Prescott – destructive, severe and unforgiving but also fragile, apologetic and thoroughly broken. How could so many contrasting emotions be condensed into one person? He was a time bomb waiting to happen and Max had to stay away before he blew up on her.

She had seen a different side to him this past week, one that she had admittedly warmed up to - but Chloe would never forgive him, Joyce would never forgive him, Kate would never forgive him and she still wasn’t sure if she really could either – he didn’t fit into her life and she knew she could never fit into his.

Realising that she had been quiet for a long time, she decided to speak up.

“So, speaking of dates, actually I’m not sure if you could call it one or-“

“Spit it out, Maxi-Pad!” Chloe interrupted, leaning on her side with intrigue plastered all over her face.

“Okay fine! I’m going to the drive-in with Warren on Friday night, he asked me.”

“What!? Max, you’ve been holding out on me, when the fuck?”

She laughed, “He asked me a few days ago and I said yes. I mean why not? Warren is nice.”

“Nice, _sure_. But also desperately in love with you.”

“Yeah right, Chloe.”

“Only you’d be blind enough not to see it,” Chloe laughed, rolling her eyes. “I’m happy for you though Max! Have fun and for fucks sake at least let him get to second.”

“C-chloe what the fuck? C-come on!” Max sputtered, cheeks flushing at the thought.

“ _You_ come on, he is a nice guy! A little weird and a bit of a geek sure, but nice! He’s a better guy than half of the wads at Blackwell, especially that fuck Nathan Prescott.”

Max winced as though Chloe saying Nathan’s name in that context had caused her physical pain.

“He’s not… actually that bad Chloe I-“

“Don’t you dare try to defend him Max! He has fucked us over at every turn but he still gets to run around and be a colossal asshole. That’s more than I can fucking say for Rachel!” Chloe cried, the decibel of her voice rising with every word.

“I know, I know. But he is – seems – genuinely sorry Chloe,” Max pleaded, not sure why she was arguing his case when just moments ago she had thought to herself that she would never be able to forgive him.

“Sorry for what? Nearly shooting me? Well I’m sorry for not giving a fuck!”

Max sighed. They lay there quietly, the tension growing more palpable with each second that passed.

“Max, I’m tired of this conversation.”

 “Okay, Chloe. Okay.”

* * *

“Another double. Actually make that two,” Nathan told the bartender confidently, daring him to ask for ID. His family owned this town, there was no way anyone would question him. That sentiment felt strangely foreign to him. He had thought it many times before and even spoken it out loud, but he felt different now. He didn’t feel like himself anymore and wasn’t sure whether he was okay with that or not. The bartender placed the drinks in front of him and he walked them over to the booth he and Victoria were sitting at. 

“So what’s been up, Nate? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!”

He racked his brain for an excuse. He knew how Victoria felt about Max and the last thing he wanted to do was antagonize her.

“I’ve been…around…just doing uh, stuff.”

“Are you fucking high or something?”

“No! Look, its nothing. I’ve just been catching up on homework,” he said nonchalantly, savoring the burning sensation his drink had left in his throat.  

She raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, clearly not believing what he was saying but instead choosing to let it slide.

She changed the subject, “So I got busted for stirring things up with Juliet and Dana.”

“No way, how did that happen?”

“I don’t know, that ho Juliet managed to sneak a peek at an email I sent to Taylor, telling her how utterly idiotic Juliet was – naturally, she totally spazzed out on me.”

“People are just no fun anymore,” he replied, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Not everyone can be us, Natey.”

No one should want to be me, he thought to himself. He saw a cocktail waitress walk out from behind the bar and he signaled her.

“Can I get a shot of Fireball. Vic, anything for you?”

“Uhh no thank you, I’ve barely even sipped my first drink.”

The waitress took down his order and walked away, leaving Nathan and Victoria alone again.

“So what’s up with you and Mr Zachary Riggins?” he asked, genuinely curious to know if their sext sessions were still a thing.

“Now that Juliet has momentarily excommunicated him, its just not that fun anymore.”

“Premature exclamation?”

“With me, how could he not?” she winked at him.

The waitress came by with Nathan’s order, he drank it all in one quick motion, not even letting the waitress set the drink on their table before he pried it from her hands.

 "Nate, are you okay? You are going a bit hard tonight. Well, more than usual.”

“I’m fine.”

“Come on, you’ve been weird all night!”

“I said I’m fucking fine Vic! Don’t analyze me, I pay people to do that.”

Victoria bit her lip, genuinely concerned for the boy in front of her. She had known him long enough to know that something had happened. He wasn’t acting like himself and she wanted to know why. Nathan had been her best friend for years, everyone had assumed that they were screwing each other but their relationship meant too much to her to tarnish with sex. He was her rock, she could erupt like a volcano in a fit of anger and alienate everyone in her life but there was no doubt in her mind that he would force his way back into it. The same applied for her and she was not going to just let it slide again.

“Nate seriously, you can be honest with me. No judgment,” she said, holding up her hands. “And you know how fucking hard it is for me to stop judging people, even for a moment.”

Nathan sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He was genuinely touched by Victoria’s show of empathy. Much like him, she had a cold and unmoving exterior, so he understood how hard it was for her every time she let somebody see past it.

“I-I just… I don’t want to be ‘nothing’.”

“What do you mean ‘nothing’?”

“I’m fucking empty Victoria. What else can I offer anyone besides money, drugs and my mistakes?” he told her as he gripped the shot glass tightly, not caring if it shattered.

“If I didn’t have any of that, no body would have any reason to speak to me. Ma-,” he stopped himself before he could say Max’s name. “ _Most_ people already want nothing to do with me.”

Victoria paused, taken aback by Nathan’s confession. She had never seen him so tormented before and it disturbed her. Just a week ago he had been happily catching pills in his mouth with her on the school front lawn and now he was miserable. She had never felt more concerned for his wellbeing than she did right now. What was going on with him?

She reached for the shot glass, prying it away from his grasp and putting it in front of her.

“Look, you have done some fucked up things, I am not going to lie. But I know you have so much more to offer than that and whether you like it or not you are stuck with me Prescott.”

She chugged her drink and proudly held her glass up as a show of solidarity.

“And you know what,” she continued. “Fuck everyone else. _Show_ them what you have to offer, and make them beg for it!”

He smiled up at her, genuinely grateful that he had someone like her in his life. Leave it to Victoria to bring him out of the pit he had dug himself in, or _Max_ had dug him in.

“You are abso-fucking-lutely right, Vic! I gotta go!” he told her, pulling himself out of the booth and making a beeline for the door.

 "What!? Are you seriously leaving me! _Again?”_

 “Love ya, Vic!” he yelled just before disappearing on the other side of the door.

 “You’re _welcome_ ,” she muttered to herself.  

* * *

Nathan was sweating profusely by the time he had made it to the girl’s dormitories after sprinting all the way from the bar. He felt bad for Victoria but he couldn’t leave with her knowing that this was where he would end up. He’d have to wait for her to go safely into her room before he could sneak back to the girl’s dormitory and do his thing. But that would take too much time and he didn’t want to lose his nerve. He deeply appreciated everything she had done for him but he wasn’t ready to tell her about his unhealthy obsession with a certain hippie.

He opened the double doors, walking quietly but purposefully toward room 219. Without hesitation he knocked on the door and did not stop until a dazed Max opened it to take a peak at who it was that had disrupted her sleep.

Her eyes widened, “N-nathan! What are you doing here?! It’s like two in the morning, you could get in serious trouble!”

“I don’t care, Caulfield. Just let me in.”

She sighed and opened the door fully, moving further inside so that she wasn’t obstructing his entry. He shut the door behind him as she stood nervously beside her desk.

“What do you-“

Before she could finish her sentence, he was already in front of her and cupping her face. Their lips soon met with such force that she was pushed back by his weight until her lower back came into contact with her desk. She moved her hands up to his chest and pushed him a little but their lips remained locked together, a meek attempt at resisting his advance. He pulled back momentarily for a breath before coming back in to devour her bottom lip, her hands starting to relax against his chest. His own hands travelled from her face, trailing a single line down until they rested on her hips. He pulled her closer to him, his tongue slowly slipping in between her lips and meeting hers.

He felt her hesitation at first but soon, her tongue slowly starts to search for his with a few playful grazes. Her hands slide up his chest and around his neck as she brings him in closer to deepen their kiss. He felt his legs moving involuntarily as he backed them both into her desk, not breaking the kiss when he hoisted her leg up so that she sat on its edge while he positioned himself in between her thighs. She pulled back and caught her breath, her eyes focused on his lips before looking directly into his. Her arms were still around his neck as he used one of his own to lean onto the wall behind her as the other rested on her hip.

He leant his head down and she responded by slowly pulling his face back towards hers. He begins by kissing her upper lip while she works at his lower lip and soon they find their rhythm. Their kiss is slower this time but just as deep. Max, to Nathan’s surprise, beckons his tongue to meet hers as she enters it into his mouth first. A soft moan escapes her lips and he swallows it as small beads of sweat start to form in the corners of his forehead. His body tells him to keep going but his mind knows what would happened if they didn’t stop.

Not this way, he told himself. It wouldn’t be right.

Much to Max’s surprise, Nathan reluctantly breaks their kiss. He rests his forehead on hers for a moment, eyes closed. They stay still as they are for a few more moments, not making a sound save for the heavy breaths escaping from their swollen lips. Finally, Nathan extricates himself from Max and runs a hand through his hair.

“Have fun at your movie,” he says coolly, flashing her one final smirk before turning to leave and not slamming the door this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knowwww, I know I said it would be a slow build but I started writing and this happened WHOOPS ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	5. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Max-centric chapter where she does a whole lotta soul searching and quite frankly, a little self-loathing. No teenage experience would be complete without it :D
> 
> (its a little longer than I had intended it to be but, eh what can you do?)
> 
> The song for this one is by The xx!

“ _I always thought it was a shame, that we have to play these games. It felt like you really knew me, now it feels like you see through me.”_

 

"Yo! Earth to Max! I repeat, earth to Max! This is your captain Warren speaking." 

Max looked up, taking in her surroundings after completely spacing out for a good five minutes. Around her were rows of cars all pointed towards a giant projector, the air ripe with conversation and laughter. To her left sat Warren, holding a bag of popcorn towards her expectantly.  

"Oh right, sorry Warren. Thanks," she said, taking a handful from the bag.

"What's eating you, Max? You've been distracted all night. Tell Papa Warren so he can make it better." 

"Please," she laughed. "Don't ever refer to yourself as Papa Warren." 

"Right, its creepy. Noted! Seriously though, is something wrong?"

"It's nothing. I've just got a lot on my mind but I'm okay now! I promise I won't be a total bore tonight!" 

"Ahh but you’re Maxwell Smart! You could never bore me," he said laughing and looking down at his lap. 

Max's stomach began to churn. Warren had gone out of his way to organize this for her, well versed in her love of the Sci-fi genre, and she had done nothing but laugh half-heartedly at his jokes all night. She needed to make more of an effort, show him that she appreciated everything that he had done. 

"Thanks for tonight Warren. I really needed this." 

He eyed her curiously, waiting for her to afford him some kind of explanation for her dour demeanor. He could have asked her what was wrong, its what Nathan would have done. In fact, he probably wouldn’t have stopped until Max gave him an explanation to his liking, but Warren was different, he was too nice to pry when it was evident that she was not willing to entertain the subject further – so he just sighed and smiled at her, revealing a dimple in his left cheek.

"Anytime Max, you know I'm here." 

"So are you pumped for this movie?" She asked him, slightly raising her voice in an attempt at feigning a modicum of excitement. "I know you've been keen for this for a while now." 

"Oh hell yeah, Max! There's nothing I love more than talking apes with murder in their eyes!" He stared off into the distance and squinted, trying to exude a severity that just didn’t work with his kind features.  

She laughed, “Woah, Warren! Don’t strain yourself there!”

"What? Am I not fierce and manly enough for those hot lady apes?”

"Please _do not_ tell me you have a thing for the lady apes." 

"What?!" He asked her, raising his hands up defensively. "They aren't half-bad! With their protruding faces and abundant facial hair - how could any man resist?" 

"Eww gross! You really are too much, Warren!" 

She giggled, stealing another handful of popcorn before getting in one last jibe, "Well, they do say that you tend to admire the things in others that you don't have – ahem facial hair ahem."

“Woah ouch, Max! Ouch! Right in the jugular!”

They shared a smile, finally content and comfortable in each other’s company. As the movie started, the sounds of chatter and laughter that had surrounded them just moments ago began to die down, signalling them to focus their attentions back to the large, imposing screen in front of them. Without Warren distracting her, Max’s mind began to wander back to last night’s encounter with Nathan. Unconsciously her hand moved to her lips as she remembered his being pressed against them.

No matter how many times she had gone over it in her head, she was still confused as to what exactly had happened. One minute he was slamming her door, angry at her for having plans with Warren and the next, he was back inside of her room and kissing her, while she reciprocated each and every one of his actions, ten-fold. The thought instantly caused her cheeks to blush and she cursed herself for allowing her mind to wander there while in the presence of somebody else. Nathan was like a hurricane in her mind, wreaking havoc and blowing debris into every facet of her thoughts.

Deep down, she knew that she already possessed the answers to her questions but she was just not ready to accept them, knowing that she couldn’t let it get farther than it had last night – not while Chloe was still alive and breathing. Nathan had given her best friend a second chance at life, something that she had tried to do herself but ultimately failed. Despite all of his sins, Max had at least been grateful to him for that, but she couldn’t allow him to take away their second chance at friendship and that’s exactly what would happen if Chloe ever found out that Max had allowed her relationship with Nathan to progress that far behind her back.

Hell, Max thought. Chloe would be livid at the very idea of her and Nathan entertaining polite conversation with each other, let alone making out.

She needed to end this before it snowballed. She should never have let him kiss her and she should never have allowed herself to kiss him back.

_Wait…why did she kiss him back?_

It was the first time that thought had run through her mind. Her brain had been wracked with an abundance of confusion over his actions, she never once stopped to consider her own. It was her own volition that caused her to slide her hands up his chest and around his neck, it were her own actions that pulled him back in greedily for a second kiss and it was her own body that felt a sense of longing the minute he had broken away from her.

Chloe would’ve been happy I finally got some action, she thought to herself. Until she found out whom it was with, of course.

For once Max had relinquished her inhibitions and let her intuition dictate her actions but it drove her to do things she was not prepared to account for. She needed to speak to Nathan, tell him that nothing like that could ever happen between them again. Her resolve began to form and strengthen inside of her, leaving an overpowering feeling of apprehension in the pit of her stomach and the taste of ash in her mouth.

* * *

Max had barely noticed when the movie ended, the unrest in her thoughts preventing her from even enjoying one frame.

Warren on the other hand, “That was so awesome! God, I forgot how good those movies were!”

Snapping out of her trance, she flashed him a toothy smile that she prayed looked genuine enough to allow him to not question her complete silence throughout the entire film.

“T-totally,” she mustered. “Those apes were pretty vicious huh?”

“Absolutely! Man, it doesn’t get anymore awesome than seeing an ape carrying a machine gun.”

On the way back to the dorms he continued to discuss highlights of the movie with her, eyes wide like a hyperactive child. She smiled to herself; she loved this side of Warren. He was so carefree and easy to be around. Their interactions were so effortless and never left her second-guessing everything that transpired between them.

Thinking to herself, Max sighed, any girl would be lucky to be where I am right now.

Warren was ridiculously smart and never failed to make her smile or laugh. He embodied the cliché of ‘geek chic’ to a tee, but was definitely cute with his shaggy brown hair, deep brown eyes and adorable dimples. There was something about him that made her confident that he would never hurt her. He was everything she told herself to want, what she _should_ have wanted and yet, something had been missing.

He parked his car in the school parking lot and of course, insisted on walking her to her dorm room as they conversed effortlessly each of them with their hands inside of their pockets. They stopped in front of the Prescott girl’s dormitory, Warren sighed happily as their laughter began to die down. He looked to the ground, shuffling his feet awkwardly before scratching the back of his neck.

“I had fun tonight, Warren. Thank you so much for doing this,” she told him sincerely.

“Like I said, Max. Anytime.”

The air around them grew thick with anticipation, their silence filling the night. Warren slowly raised his eyes to meet hers, still awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. He dropped his arm slowly and took a step towards her.

“M-max, I..” he gulped, trying to find the resolve to continue. “I um, I love spending time with you. I _always_ want to spend time with you.”

An image of them hugging flashed across Max’s mind, she remembered the moment feeling eerily similar to this one, the only difference being that it had taken place in a different time with the impending threat of a natural disaster looming over them. She remembered the look in his eyes, wide and hopeful, until he felt her arms wrap around him instead of her lips meeting his. She had never given Warren a chance then and for the first time since, she thought, maybe that had been a mistake.

She swallowed as his hand moved to her chin and drew her close, each movement slow and measured, steep in contrast to Nathan’s commanding and aggressive motions. Warren gently pressed his lips against hers, catching her top lip in between both of his. She tried to search herself for the indescribable feeling she had felt with Nathan, but came up empty. Nothing compelled her to wrap her arms around his neck or search his mouth with her own. The only thing she felt was each second slip by along with their momentum and suddenly she pulled away.

“Warren, I’m sorry I cant,” she said, her eyes beginning to sting. She allowed one tear to fall down her cheek before wiping the rest away with her hand.

Warren searched her face before sighing dejectedly, “Its okay, Max, don’t feel bad. I always sorta knew… I just had to see it for myself.”

He moved in to hug her and she reciprocated by burying her head into his chest and clutching his back. The feeling of her against him, providing her support and understanding, caused her to break, her tears soaking through his shirt. Warren tried to mask his surprise at Max’s outburst, knowing that her reaction wasn’t solely reserved for him. He hated to see her like this but knew he couldn’t be the one to fix it. He continued to hug her for a few moments before letting go.

“Max, I’m sorry - whatever is going on, I’ll be there for you okay? I just need a… minute to myself right now.”

“I’m sorry, Warren.”

“Don’t be. I’ll see you around and who knows, maybe I’ll have more facial hair by then…” he told her, half-heartedly.

Max offered him a laugh, in spite of herself.

“Thank you, Warren,” she whispered to his back as she watched him disappear into the night.

* * *

It had taken Max a few days after her movie misadventure with Warren to realise that Nathan had been actively avoiding her. Not only had she not received one text or call from him but also, he would walk passed her in the halls like she was completely invisible, avoiding even the slightest measure of eye contact with her. She was good enough to toy with when he was sticking his tongue down her throat but now he was keeping her at arms length like she was a carrier of the plague.

It frustrated her to her core that despite everything that they had been through these last couple of weeks, he was still intent on playing games and using her for his amusement. She should have washed her hands of the entire situation, after all, he was making it easier for her to completely phase him out of her life just like she had intended to anyway. Yet she keep trying to find his eyes with her own and she kept searching for opportunities for them to talk. She had debated on calling or texting him but ultimately decided against it, this was something that had to be done face-to-face.

She was not even sure what she wanted to tell him but these last couple of weeks had shown her a side to Nathan that she had never been privy to before and she knew that she wanted to keep him in her life, even if it couldn’t be in a capacity more than what she was ready for. She eyed him across the courtyard, he was standing amongst a group of his Vortex Club cronies, talking and laughing like he lead the most charmed and carefree life on the universe. He was positioned above Courtney Wagner, leaning over her shoulder as they focused on her phone, engrossed by whatever was on its screen.

Probably a stupid video of some guy getting kicked in the crotch, Max thought to herself bitterly, not entirely sure how her mind had spawned that conjecture.

She couldn’t help but notice how close he was standing to her. Courtney laughed and leaned into him while Nathan made no attempt to distance himself from her. She felt her chest begin to tighten as she tried to convince herself that she was not jealous, but merely just upset because he had been ignoring her, when he clearly was not ignoring Courtney.

She focused her attentions back to the cardboard cup in front of her, wrapping both of her hands around its ribbed surface and allowing the warmth to seep through her fingers. She stared intently at the scalding liquid inside before bringing the cup to her lips and taking a careful sip, a pleasant taste rippling through her tastebuds.

“This one is great, Kate! It kind of tastes like-“

“Popcorn?”

Max looked up her friend sitting across from her, she was circling the rim of her cup with one thin finger, the corner of her hazel eyes creasing as she smiled brightly at Max.

“Its green tea with roasted rice and bits of popcorn, weird combo I know but it tastes good and I figured you’d like it.”

Kate tucked a strand of her dark blonde hair behind her ear, the rest of it held up in an impressive bun. Max returned her smile, happy at the thought that her good friend had considered what would agree with her palette before picking out a tea that they could enjoy together.

It was just like Kate, Max thought to herself.

She had always tried to accommodate other people and sought to see the best possible side in everybody. She was one of the few genuinely good people that Max had ever known and it broke her heart to know that she had been put through such a painful ordeal.

“How are you feeling, Kate?” she asked, her eyebrows creasing in worry.

Kate remained silent for a few moments before speaking, clearly uncomfortable at the question. Max didn’t want to pry but she was also genuinely concerned for Kate’s wellbeing. She loathed seeing her still so upset and perturbed by the entire ordeal but not one ounce of Max could fault her. Kate had dedicated her life to being a good person, she wanted nothing more than to see others happy and to go to bed at night knowing that she had not disappointed anyone or compromised her beliefs.

It was a difficult task to accomplish as a teenager in the twenty-first century – an era where most teenagers derived their enjoyment by succumbing to their vices – but it was something that Kate had successfully managed, only to become undone by the rapacious actions of an overtly narcissistic and deranged photographer and…

 _Nathan Prescott_ , the thought of his name in that context leaving an unpleasant taste on her tongue.

“I don’t want to lie to you, Max,” Kate said finally. “I’m still … disturbed by everything. But I promise you I’m getting there. I think I just need more time.”

Max swallowed, her guilt beginning to skyrocket as she castigated herself for missing the company of someone that had hurt one of her dearest friends.

“I’m here for you, Kate, whatever you need,” she told her, gently placing her hand on top of Kate’s and offering her a smile.

“I know Max, you’ve already been there for me every step of the way but I really just want my life to return back to normal - so why don’t we talk about something more silly and trivial?”

“Sure! What do you want to talk about?”

“Why don’t you tell me about your date with Warren?” Kate said, smiling at Max mischievously with one eyebrow raised.

Max felt her cheeks begin to redden, embarrassed at the thought of having to recount her night but happy she could provide Kate with a distraction from her troubles.

“Well… it was good. Warren and I always have fun so I expected as much.”

“He is a such a good guy Max! I’m glad you two finally stole a chance to hangout one on one, but…” Kate trailed off, looking unsure of whether or not to say the words that were about to come out of her mouth.

Deciding against her own protestations, Kate continued.

“You just don’t look all that…happy. Did something happen?”

Max gulped, “You know me too well, Kate. Warren is amazing and I like him so much _as a friend_ , I just –“

“You don’t like him as anything more?”

“Right…”

Kate looked down into her cup, a hint of disappointment flickered across her face. Max knew that Kate welcomed the prospect of her and Warren becoming an item and it upset Max to think that she couldn’t at least give her that, but it would be wrong to string Warren along just to appease other people, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.

“Its okay, Max,” Kate continued. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t kind of disappointed that it didn’t work out but you’re my friend and I wouldn’t want you to force yourself, I just want you to be happy.”

That sent Max over the edge, a lump started to form in her throat and her guilt began to shred away at her insides. She didn’t want to upset Kate but she had been nothing but honest and sincere with Max, that Max couldn’t continue to deceive her into thinking that she was also affording her same level of transparency.

“Kate, I need to tell you something…”

“What is it?”

Max felt time begin to stand still, she could no longer hear the mindless chatter of her classmates and her vision started to blur until she could only focus on Kate’s small frame sitting across from her.

“I’ve been… spending time with Nathan Prescott.”

Her words reverberated in the air around them as the atmosphere continued to grow thick with every second that Kate remained silent. Within an instant, her soft features became distorted as her face displayed an expression of panic and confusion.

“Kate, I am so sorry, please say something,” Max pleaded in desperation. She felt tears begin to well up in her eyes, no longer able to hide how distraught she felt.

Kate’s eyes darted around the courtyard, settling on Nathan’s figure in the distance.

“Why, Max? H-how could you? After everything that he’s done…” she spoke finally. “He-he _drugged_ me, he-“

“Kate, I know. I know he’s done…awful things and I’m not trying to convince you otherwise. I-I just needed to be honest with you.” 

“Just tell me why, Max.” 

Max hesitated, debating on whether to formulate an excuse that would be easier for Kate to swallow but she was trying to be honest and it wouldn’t be fitting for her to discard this opportunity at the last moment so that she could salvage her friendship with Kate through a lie. 

“Because I – I don’t think he’s a bad person. I may have thought differently at one stage but now I truly believe he is sorry for what he’s done and – “

“You _honestly_ believe that, Max? Really? Because, from where I’m standing, he is still the same bully that derives enjoyment from pushing people around.”

Max felt defeated. She didn’t want to lose her friendship with Kate, she couldn’t blame her at all for having those feelings towards Nathan but at the same time, she couldn’t take the thought of someone thinking that he was a cold enough to not have an ounce of remorse over what he had done, when she was so sure this wasn’t the case.  

“I’m so sorry, Kate. I can’t explain how it happened or when it started but I… I truly believe that there’s more to him than what we know…”

Kate closed her eyes, trying to absorb everything that Max was saying. Her breathing, ragged just a few moments ago, stared to slow down as she massaged her temples. Soon her expression softened and she finally opened her mouth to speak. 

“Max, it’s…okay,” Kate told her. “Everything is still too raw for me to fully believe what you’re saying but… you’ve never failed to stand by and I’m going to try to do the same for you.” 

She offered Max a small smile and held her hand out. Max clasped it instantly, clutching it tightly for a few seconds before letting go. 

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive him, Max. I really don’t. But you’re my friend for a reason and I respect your decision.” 

Max looked up to see Kate take a small sip of her tea. Her hair rustled in the wind as the sun behind her shone brightly, draping her in a soft gold light that illuminated her figure in the most beautiful way possible. Max felt an aura of calm envelop her as she gazed upon her friend. Without thinking, she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture, both of their eyes lighting up as they gazed at the Polaroid’s final result.  

* * *

Max had come early to her algebra class, offering Mr Terry a small wave before she made a beeline for a seat in the back left corner of the classroom. She unpacked her belongings, smiling and unapologetic for her childish choice in pencil cases before settling down in her seat and staring outside of the window, mesmerised by the clouds slowly drifting in the sky. Her conversation with Kate made her feel lighter somehow, as though a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She knew that she could never expect the same reaction from Chloe or even Joyce but it had been a relief to her that she was finally able to be honest with somebody. 

Sounds of chatter began to fill the air as students began to pour into the classroom, each scrambling to find a seat next to their friends. She didn’t really associate too closely with anyone in the class apart from Alyssa, Brooke and Warren. Nathan had also been assigned to this class but they were more comfortable with keeping their associations private so they never actually interacted in class, not that he would now anyway given the current state of their relationship. She nodded at Alyssa and Brooke as they sat together in front of her, each offering her a warm smile before resuming their prior conversation. 

Max turned her head to the doorway and saw Warren. A little too eagerly, she raised her hand, trying to catch his attention by waving. He looked at her awkwardly, raising his hand and giving her a strained wave back. She reached over to her bag, ready to remove it from the seat next to her in anticipation that he would sit there as he always did, but much to Max’s surprise - and sadness - he settled for a seat next to Luke Parker instead. 

I guess he needs more time, she sighed to herself, feeling defeated.

“Alright class, I’m going to assume you all did your assigned worksheet over the weekend and just jump straight into showing you the formulas.”

“Um let’s see who we have here… Ms Scott!” said Mr Terry, looking directly at Brooke. “Could you please give us your answer for – Mr Prescott! Nice of you to _finally_ join us, why don’t you take a seat.”

Max’s head shot up, Nathan was standing in the doorway, scowling at Mr Terry for calling him out on being late. He scanned the room for an empty seat before his eyes fell on Max and he grumbled. Looking around, she came to a realisation that all of the spots in the class had been filled save for an empty seat next to her. A strange sense of relief washed over her, knowing that there was no way he could avoid her this time but the feeling quickly vanished as he started to walk over to her, dragging his feet as though someone were forcing him to walk a plank. 

Why did he have to make such a spectacle of the fact that he didn’t want to sit next to her? Max asked herself, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest.

He plopped on the chair next to her in a huff, not even bothering to fetch a pen from his bag and instead, pulled out his phone and began tapping furiously at the touch-screen keyboard. Max sighed and ripped a small piece of paper from her notebook. Unsure of what to write, she lamely scribbled down a quick “hey” before folding it up and sliding it directly in front of him. He eyed the note cautiously before picking it up, throwing a small glance her way before unwrapping it. He rolled his eyes at its contents before scrunching it up and throwing it away, turning his attentions back onto his phone. 

 _Okay, that was definitely uncalled for!_  

What kind of game was he trying to play? Had he reverted back to being the same cold hearted jerk that she had become well acquainted with in the past or was he genuinely angry with her for something? Max wracked her brain but couldn’t produce a single reason that gave him the right to treat her this way, she needed to have it out with him and get to the bottom of this, and she needed to do it today. Her eyes darted between his phone and Mr Terry. My Terry had been notorious for detesting cell phone use in class so Nathan held it under the table in an effort to obscure it from the teacher’s view. 

Suddenly she had a plan. 

“Oh my god! Nathan! That video is so funny!” she said all of a sudden, her voice so loud that Mr Terry and the entire classroom instantly turned to the minute that she started speaking.  

Nathan stared at her wide-eyed, his expression a mixture of shock and confusion. 

“What the f –“ 

“That poor guy, getting kicked in the crotch like that! Wowsers, that must’ve hurt! Thanks for showing it to me, Nathan! It was hilarious!” she continued while everyone in the class eyed her as though she had lost her mind. 

“Okay that is quite enough you two!” Mr Terry said, raising his voice. “Ms Caulfield and Mr Prescott, you have earned yourselves a detention! Cell phone use is strictly forbidden in my class and I will not tolerate it!” 

“Are you kidding me!” Nathan yelled back, his voice dripping with incredulity. “I didn’t do anything! What the hell?!” 

“Oh spare me, Mr Prescott. You’ve been tapping away at your phone from the moment you sat down! And you, Caulfield!” said Mr Terry, eyeing her. “Do not ever disrupt my class again! You will both report to detention at the end of the school day!” 

He eyed them both menacingly before adjusting his glasses and resuming the lesson. Everyone else in the class still had their eyes firmly locked on Max and Nathan, some were laughing, others were whispering, while most of them just stared at them, completely shocked at what had just transpired. Nathan eyed her, his expression unreadable. Now it was Max’s turn to avoid eye contact with him as she fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably, feeling the weight of his gaze on her for the entire class. 

* * *

“I am so disappointed in both of you, distracting the class like that. I expected so much better, especially you Ms Caulfield.” 

Max looked up at Mr Wells from her desk apologetically, “I’m sorry sir, i-it won’t happen again.”

“I hope so, Max. I hope so. This is very uncharacteristic of you,” he told her with a solemn tone. 

Nathan sat directly behind her slouching in his chair with his arms folded. He clicked his tongue impatiently as he stared intently outside of the window, making no effort to converse with either of them. Ticks of the clock on the front wall atop the blackboard echoed throughout the near-empty classroom as the three of them sat in silence. Max had thought her plan to get Nathan alone was solid until she realised that they couldn’t talk at all because detention was supervised. 

I am such an idiot, she thought to herself, embarrassed by her own stupidity.    

Suddenly, as though she had summoned it, the sound of a cell phone ringing had erupted through the classroom, startling both her and Nathan. Principal Wells fished around in his pocket, trying to locate his cell. Looking at the screen, he stood up abruptly, excusing himself from the class room but not before warning them that he would be back soon and expected to see the both of them still sitting exactly where they were. 

Finally, they were alone. Max’s nerves had gotten the better of her as the reality of the situation started to sink in. She still hadn’t figured out what she wanted to say to him and now the opportunity was slipping through her fingers. 

“So, you missed me that much huh?” 

She straightened her back, startled by the sudden sound of his voice. 

“Nathan, what the hell are you playing at? Why have you been ignoring me? You kiss me a-and then – “ Her frustrations quickly bypassed her earlier nerves as they erupted from her mouth like the spill of lava from a volcano. 

“Breathe, Max. Breathe,” he said smugly, taking deep breaths himself in an effort to mock her. 

“You are such a fucking jerk.”

He laughed, “Oh come on, don’t pout.” 

She turned around quickly and gave him the stink eye before turning back to face the front of the classroom, her arms folded tightly across her chest. 

A moment of silence passed between them before Nathan spoke again. 

“I-I just wanted to see…” he trailed off for a second, trying to organise his words. “I just wanted to see if you would make an effort for once… or you know, something like that.” 

Her shoulders perked up but her eyes remained locked to the front, “what do you mean by ‘effort’?” 

“I don’t fucking know okay? I just – Look, its always been _me_ trying to make an effort to see _you_ and you just fucking go with it like its no big deal. I just needed to know if you were forcing yourself to spend time with me for whatever fucking reason or if you genuinely wanted to be around me just like I – uh, anyway you get what I fucking mean right?” 

She knew that Nathan and her had built some sort of connection, even though she couldn’t properly establish what the foundation for that connection had been in the first place. But it just never occurred to her that it had meant this much to him, that he was willing to go through all of these stupid lengths just to try and prove that it also meant something to her. She thought about it for a moment, it wasn’t long before she acknowledged that he did mean as much to her as she did to him. He had put her through the wringer this last week, treating her as though she were completely invisible just to feed his own insecurities. She should have abandoned their association but continued to fight for it despite the troubles it brought her, how could she interpret that any differently? 

“I get it,” she said quietly. “But you can’t just play games with people like that Nathan. We aren’t fucking pawns on your personal chessboard that you can move around whenever you like.” 

“I know and I’m sorry.” 

Max looked over her shoulder in shock. The last time that she had heard Nathan Prescott apologise had been in another timeline. Hearing him manage another apology right now, in a completely different context where the situation was nowhere near as dire, had come as a complete shock to her and all she could do was stare at him. 

“Look, don’t make a big fucking spectacle out of it okay?” 

She laughed and snapped her head back around, not wanting the moment to dissipate. 

“Wowsers,” was all she could manage.

“Oh shut up!” 

She laughed again; he was like a small child that was throwing a tantrum. 

“Look, Nathan,” she continued, after her laughter subsided. “I-I do want you in my life too but –“ 

Flashes of their kiss replayed in her mind as a heat started to envelop every nerve ending in her body. She knew that she wanted something more with him, she had tried to fight it but every inch of her told her otherwise. Ultimately though, she knew that she was not prepared for the fall out it would bring into her life. She needed time to sort through her feelings and weigh them up against the repercussions that it would have on the relationship she had with her best friend, Chloe. She knew that Chloe would never forgive her and she was not ready to burn that bridge for Nathan.

“But what?” he asked her impatiently, breaking her trance. 

Taking a breath, she finally continued, “But I don’t think I can give you anything more than my friendship right now. I’m just not ready – ” 

“I wasn’t alone in that kiss, Max,” he told her matter-of-factly. 

“I - I know you weren’t, okay? I know. I just… can’t right now and I need you to understand that.” 

He did not say anything for a while. She thought he would erupt into a cloud of profanity or storm out of the room but he just sat behind her quietly. She wanted to look back but she was too afraid that he would meet her gaze. 

“Do you miss me more than you miss Warren?” he asked suddenly. 

“W-what?” 

“You heard me. I saw him sitting away from you in class, which I thought was pretty odd given that he follows you around like a lost puppy most of the time.”

“I’m not answering that, Nathan!” 

“Fine then, you’re dead to me,” his words were harsh but she knew that he was joking and involuntarily, her lips started to curve into a smile. 

 _He is such a brat._  

“Fine… y-yes, I do miss you…more than Warren.” 

 _Sorry Warren!_  

“Really?” 

“Yes, really.” 

“Okay then, I guess we can be… friends.” 

She turned back to look at him with a smile; a warm feeling started to surge through her the moment his stormy eyes met hers. 

He smiled at her smugly, “by the way…that was a real _friendly_ moan you gave me the other night.”

“O-oh sh-shut the h-hell up!” she sputtered as her face began to redden. 

Principal Wells entered the room before either of them could say anything more. They snapped their attentions back to the front of the classroom in an effort to look as though they had sat there in silence for the last twenty minutes that he was gone. He eyed them suspiciously before reclaiming his seat in the front of the classroom. 

All of a sudden, Max heard Nathan’s voice break the silence. 

“Sir! Max just passed me this note, I didn’t want to get into anymore trouble so I thought I’d show you before the situation got misinterpreted.”

Max turned her head around to look at him, her mouth open and her eyes wide with shock as Principal Wells slowly made his way to Nathan’s desk. He picked up the note and shook his head, disappointed by its contents.

“Ms Caulfield, here at Blackwell academy we _do not_ tolerate students passing around crude drawings like these,” he said, ripping the note up and throwing it into the bin. “You just earned yourself another hour of detention. Mr Prescott, I appreciate your candour, you may go.” 

“Thank you, Principal Wells,” replied Nathan earnestly as he stood up, collecting his belongings.

As Nathan made his way out, he passed by her desk and dropped another note on it. Max, still in a state of shock, picked up the note and gritted her teeth at what it read:

**Soz Caulfield - I’m glad we’re friends and all but that was total payback. Enjoy detention xoxo**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn you Maxi-Pad you silly hippie, why can't you just love him already? :')


	6. A Bad Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: shitstorm ahead!
> 
> Song for this chapter is by Keane!

_“I wake up, it’s a bad dream, no one on my side. I was fighting but I just feel to tired to be fighting, guess I’m not the fighting kind. Wouldn’t mind it, if you were by my side but you’re long gone, yeah you’re long gone now. ”_

 

Nathan observed everyone around him scurry into the classrooms lining the halls of Blackwell Academy, eager to make their afternoon classes in time before they were handed a detention for being tardy. Caring about tardiness had never been one of Nathan’s strong suits, viewing it as one of life's little tediums. Why care about tardiness when you had already held a gun at another human being? It was not something that his was proud of, but what more could a little tardiness possibly do to his soul?

Instead, he positioned himself outside of the girl's bathroom - back to the wall as he played with his lighter, eager for another cigarette. He had seen Max enter just before the lunch bell tolled, signaling the end of the break. He wanted to ask her if she would play hooky with him for the rest of the day in an effort to move their friendship forward. It had been difficult for them to spend any time together the last few weeks. They had agreed on a friendship but did not account for the difficulties they would encounter in trying to maintain it, whilst also trying to keep it a secret from everybody else.  

He heard the door swing open next to him and Max casually strolled out.

“Hey, Crackfield.”

Startled, Max's head whipped around at the sound of his voice.

“N-nathan, oh my god you scared me. Why aren’t you in class?”

Nathan scoffed, “Oh please.”

Max folded her arms and began tapping her foot, waiting for him to afford her a more palatable explanation.

“It is what it is, Caulfield,” he shrugged. “I was thinking though, how about we blow this joint together?” 

“Uh, definitely not, I'll see you later, Nathan." She turned on her heel to walk away but Nathan quickly grabbed her arm before she could get too far.

“Come on! It will be fun! Well, more fun than listening to Ms Grant drone on and on about shit that would be completely useless to you because you know, you want to be a _photographer_.” 

Max pondered this for a moment, inwardly cursing herself for actually seeing sense in his argument.

“Nathan, we could get in trouble…”

“We won’t.”

“We most definitely could!”

He took a step towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, Max flinching at the sudden contact.

“We  _won’t_ ,” he emphasized to her more sincerely. 

Her eyes widened as he peered into them, almost as though he were trying to impose his will onto her through sheer eye contact alone.

“Fine!” she said, exasperated. “Fine, but lets get out of here now before anybody sees us.”

“Fine with me!”

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and lead her to his parked SUV. Nathan walked the grounds with confidence, while Max trailed behind him nervously, her eyes constantly surveying the area for teachers and campus security. Upon their arrival in the parking lot, Nathan moved passed her and opened the door to the passenger seat. He beckoned her inside with an outstretched arm as she hesitantly moved towards him.

“Well um, that was unexpected,” she told him, climbing into the car.

He leant over her casually and smirked, “Yeah, I like to shake things up every once in a while. Plus you’re face is also pretty fucking hilarious to look at when its surprised."

She rolled her eyes as he closed the door and made his way around to the driver's seat. 

“So, where to?”

Nathan pondered this for a moment.

“Hmm, good question.”

* * *

Nathan and Max sat atop the hood of his car, their legs idly dangling over the truck’s grill as they watched the waves in front of them turn into an explosion of white foam upon coming into contact with the shore. Nathan took a large bite of the burger he held in his hand, catching its contents in his mouth before they spilled out of the bun.

“So, siblings?” he asked.

Her dainty hand moved to her mouth, trying to cover it as she swallowed the last remnants of her fries before answering - they had been quizzing each other for the last two hours in an effort to find out more about one another.

“None, I’m an only child. Although I did always want an older brother, maybe he could’ve protected me from jerks like you.” 

“Ohhh  _burn_!” Nathan snickered. 

She poked her tongue out before pointing the question back at him, "How about you?"

Max had already known the answer to this question, but in an effort to keep her time travelling past a secret, she had to act like she was completely ignorant. Despite the fact that she had actually read an email his sister had sent to him when she snuck into his room in the alternate timeline. She remembered feeling happy that he had the love and support of at least one family member, after realizing that his father wasn’t exactly the perfect archetype of a benevolent and caring parent.

“Just one, an older sister actually - Kristine.”

“Ah, I see,” Max uttered slowly, praying that her acting skills had been credible enough. “What is she like?”

Nathan thought about Max’s question for a moment, unsure of how to answer without sounding too sentimental. Kristine was the only good person left in his family, the only one who cared and supported him without any expectations or a hidden agenda. She had always gone out of her way to emulate the best traits that their mother had espoused, ensuring that Nathan was always exposed to at least a small modicum of familial love and affection in the midst of absorbing all of the weight of his father's expectations and contempt.  

Nathan recalled the day she told him that she was leaving to serve in the Peace Corps.

* * *

"I  _will always be here for you, Nate! I’m just a phone call or email away and if you ever need me to come back and visit just – “_

_“Just fucking save it, Kristine! Stop trying to sugarcoat the fact that you are leaving me. You promised you would never fucking leave me!”_

_"Nate," she said, grabbing his shoulders and looking deep into his eyes. "I need to do this, there are so many people outside of the bubble Dad has surrounded us in. A lot of them need help, I can't just sit back knowing I could've made a difference. I won’t be like him."_

_"I need your help!”_

_“You are stronger than you think.”_

_“No, I’m not… you're just weaker than I thought. Just… go, Kristine.  Leave me just like everybody else.”_

* * *

His chest began to restrict at his sudden recollection of the memory. Allowing Kristine to leave following that argument without telling her how sorry he was, had always been one of his biggest regrets; he had even gone so far as to refuse to see her off at the airport. He had tried apologizing to his sister many times since but to no avail, his words failing him every time. Nothing he could say would be sufficient enough express the revulsion he had felt for acting so selfishly. He should have never made her feel bad for trying to help other people but he was resentful that she managed to do the one thing he could never accomplish, escape their family and weight of the Prescott name. 

Nathan had always been thankful for the fact that despite all that of the grief that had befallen them, Kristine had been true to her word and contacted him at every chance she could. Her calls and emails offered him a respite from the miserable normalcy of his life, a feeling he had never been able to replicate until he started hanging out with Max.

“Nathan?” 

He heard her call his name, her soft tone bringing him back into the present. 

“S-sorry, I spaced out a little there. What did you ask?”

“I asked you what your sister is like.”

“She is… an incredible person, in every sense of the word.”

Max stared at him, startled by his curt and honest response. 

"She’s in Brazil, serving in the Peace Corps," he continued. 

“Wowsers!” Max replied in astonishment. “Wait, so let me get this straight, your sister is serving in the Peace Corps and you’re…”

“What? A handsome and debonair Blackwell prodigy with a flair for fashion and hair that won’t quit?”

“Well, I was going to go with a pushy jerk who has a penchant for getting me into trouble but sure…let’s go with that.”

"You love it, Caulfield. Stop acting like you don't," he said smugly. "Okay, you’re turn.”

Max contemplated this a moment before opening her mouth to speak, Nathan detected a hint of hesitation in demeanor. 

“Have you and Victoria ever… um, you know – “

“Fucked?” he interrupted, finishing her sentence with a grin.

Max’s eyes grew wide, her face a telling indication of her embarrassment as its hue slowly started to resemble the deep red of a tomato.

Nathan laughed, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, Caulfield!”

“I-I was just curious! You didn’t have to put it like that!”

“Why  _are_  you curious anyway?” he asked her pointedly. “Would it bother you if I said we did?”

 _Yes_ _it_ _would_ , she thought. But there was no way she was going to admit it and give him the satisfaction.

“Look, I had just heard rumors and I was curious. If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine.”

“We aren’t sleeping together and we never have,” he said abruptly, looking down at the half-eaten burger that he was holding before bringing it in to take another bite.

Max exhaled silently, failing to realise that she had held her breath to begin with. She looked over at Nathan as he stared out into the horizon, completely unaware of the small ketchup stain Max had just noticed he had on the side of his cheek. She laughed as the severity of his visage began to crumble with each second the splotch of ketchup remained on his face. He looked more innocent, almost childlike, she thought to herself. She quietly reached into her bag and pulled out her camera, aiming it squarely at him. The sound of her capturing the photograph startled Nathan and he dropped his burger to the ground.

"W-what the fuck are you doing?”

Max laughed as she shook the Polaroid. “How does it feel to be deprived of _your_ food for once hmm?” she asked him teasingly.

“Did you seriously just take a photo of me!?”

“Why yes I did! You could call it payback for that duck face photo of me that you still haven't deleted.”

He tried to snatch the photograph out of her hand but she managed to swiftly evade his attempts.

“Wowsers, I wonder if everyone would still be intimidated by the great Nathan Prescott if they found out that he actually eats like a two-year old with a bowl of a spaghetti.”

“Oh you are such a fucking riot, Caulfield.”

He shook his head exasperatedly, trying to feign annoyance when in reality, her company had been anything but. He was still unsure what exactly it was about Max that enraptured him so much but he savored every second that they spent together, even in situations like this when they were just sitting around aimlessly and talking. She was so different to anybody that he had ever known and being around her made him want to be a different person too, the kind of person who didn’t carry around the baggage that he did.

He looked to his side and caught a glimpse of her profile against the afternoon sun as she laughed. His eyes travelled down to her hand as it rested between them. Instinct dictated that he reach for it but reason told him to refrain, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off when they had just gotten to a good place. 

His mind wandered back to that afternoon, when she told him that she wanted to be in his life too, but not in the way that he wanted her to. He had been relieved that he was seated behind her so that she could not see his face drop when the word "friendship" escaped her mouth. It was not the reaction he wanted, but more than anything he just wanted her, in any form that would give him. So he sat back quietly and bit his tongue, praying that the tone of his voice would be enough to convince her that he was okay with that. 

It was her choice and he would try to respect it. He was Nathan Prescott, he didn’t need to beg for anything but more importantly, he didn't need to scare another person away from that name, especially not Max Caulfield. He sighed and leant back onto his windshield, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

“So, I take it you won’t be at the party this weekend?” He asked, eyes still closed.

"Do you even have to ask Prescott? Of course not." 

“Shock of all shocks, Max Caulfield doesn’t enjoy parties. You are such a hipster,” he laughed to himself.

“What?” she asked. “Just because I don’t like watching people get shitfaced, that means I’m a hipster?”

“You really just need to lighten the fuck up sometimes.”

“Why does everybody keep telling me that!?”

"Because you are practically one ‘quiet night in’ away from joining a convent,” he snickered. 

She rolled her eyes and hugged her knees against her chest, her eyes travelling back to the crashing waves in front of them. The very thought of a Vortex Club party still rattled her, it brought back all of the memories she had of the worst experiences of her life and Kate and Rachel Amber. She may have warmed up to Nathan, but she wanted nothing to do with that aspect of his life.

“Well if you do show up, I can get you into the VIP room. Just say the word.”

“Lucky me…” she said quietly as a chill began to engulf her. 

* * *

Max entered the gym, feeling like an outsider the moment she stepped into the dimly lit pool area, the heavy bass of the music pulsating through her. She looked around in awe, everything from the lights, the music and the atmosphere was an exact replica of the End of the World Party Max had previously gone to in the alternate timeline. She shouldn’t have been surprised, the End of the World party in this timeline had been put on hold after the incident with Chloe and Nathan in the bathroom and Nathan’s subsequent confession. She should have known the Vortex Club would find someway to convince the school to merely postpone it instead of cancelling it altogether, despite how tasteless it was given the circumstances.

With every step Max took further inside, the more uncomfortable she felt. She couldn't shake the overpowering sensation of unrest resonating inside of her. Being here reminded her too much of Jefferson and the traumatizing events that had befallen her and Chloe after the first End of the World Party she had attended.

How on earth did I get here? She asked herself, her nerves slowly starting to get the better of her. 

* * *

_Max settled onto the couch, legs crossed underneath her acting as a makeshift table for her laptop. Eagerly, she sifted through the files on her computer, trying to locate ‘Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within’._

_“I don’t care what anybody says,” she told herself. “This is by far, one of the best sci-fi films ever made.”_

_She had barely even double-clicked on the movie before her door swung open and welcomed Dana Ward, cheerleader extraordinaire, into her peaceful sanctuary. She eyed the blonde cheerleader curiously, trying to discern why she had burst into her room so suddenly wearing a white low-cut top, tight denim jeans and a pair of simple black pumps. Dana looked at her, shaking her head in disappointment as she stood in front of Max, hands on her hips._

_"Not again, Max,” she said exasperatedly. “Please don't tell me you're spending another Friday night locked in your room watching some lame movie."_

_“Spirits Within isn’t lame!”_

_“I don’t even know what that is, so whatever - that’s not really the point,” Dana replied dismissively, rolling her eyes. “My point is, is that you are letting life just pass you by! You are a really cool chick Max, I just wish you'd let everybody else know that."_

_Max couldn't help but appreciate everything Dana was saying, but she didn't like the direction this conversation was heading. “What are you trying to say Dana?”_

_“I’m not trying to say anything. I’m TELLING you that you are coming to the End of the World Party with me tonight and I will not take ‘no’ for an answer.”_

* * *

True to her word, Dana hadn’t taken ‘no’ for an answer and now here Max stood, feeling more out of place and uneasy than she ever imagined possible. She looked down at her outfit, feeling immensely awkward by how different it was to her usual attire. Dana had practically slapped Max’s hand when she tried reaching for one of her beloved hoodies, instead choosing to dress Max in a tight black tank top, white ripped denim high waisted shorts and a very cute pair of black mid-heel boots.

“You’ve got the legs, why not flaunt them!” she recalled Dana telling her ecstatically.

Max felt someone link arms with her from behind.

“Come on Max, you’ve already entered the gates of inferno, might as well enjoy your stay,” Dana said, winking. “Let’s go and find Trevor, I think he’s in the VIP room.” 

Max let Dana lead her through a crowd of her inebriated classmates, each succumbing to the effects of alcohol and the atmosphere. She wanted to let go too, to show Dana that she was making an effort, but she hadn’t accounted for how incredibly raw everything still felt and anxiety began to dominate her cognizance.

This time around, it was Courtney who manned the entrance to the VIP room, sitting back in her chair and looking as aloof as ever.

She looked up at Max and Dana, her eyes darting between them before settling on Max, “Dana, yes. Max, no – Vortex Club members only, thanks.”

“Oh stop being such a bitch Courtney,” Dana replied, tightening her grip on Max’s arm in an effort to stop her from running away. 

_She knows me too well._

“Max is coming in with me whether you like it or not.”

“Sorry,  _Dana._ You may call the shots at your little pep rallies, but how loud you cheer here, doesn’t matter. Max is not coming in.”

Dana clenched her jaw, poised to give Courtney an equally biting retort. Max reasoned that the situation had to be diffused before she drew even more attention to herself. 

“Courtney, I really love you’re outfit tonight! M-maybe you could… give me some tips on styling next time.”

Courtney’s eyes shifted from being locked in a heated staring contest with Dana’s. Her face softened as she looked at Max with a confident smile, “I’m always willing to share the wealth Max, glad to know you aren’t too proud to admit when you need help.”

She chewed the end of her pen thoughtfully before shrugging and giving them the okay to pass through the curtain dividing the Vortex Club snobs with the general populace.

“And that’s why you’re Super Max!” Dana told her excitedly as they made their way inside.

When they walked in, Max quickly scanned the room for Victoria. The last thing that she needed was another dressing down. Luckily, Victoria was too busy engrossed in a conversation with Logan and Taylor to spot her.

“Oh there he is!” she heard Dana say suddenly, pulling Max along with her.

Max’s eyes widened when she saw where Dana was leading her. Trevor stood a few feet away from them, drink in hand and locked in, what appeared to be, a very amusing conversation with Hayden and Nathan. 

_Fuck!_

“D-dana, I-I can’t,” Max sputtered, planting her feet firmly on the ground. Dana clicked her tongue and began dragging Max along with her until they were within full view of the three boys. 

* * *

“Bro, why do you think I  _never_  go near a skateboard? My motor skills go to shit when I’m high and I love the cush too much to risk a skateboard to the nuts,” Hayden drawled.

Nathan chuckled in response to his friend's ramblings, spilling some of the drink in his hand before looking to Trevor, “As for me, I prefer wheels that are attached to an inexplicably expensive, environmentally unfriendly, gas guzzling machine, thank you very much.”

“You are such a fucking rich boy,” replied Trevor, shoulders heaving as he laughed into his cup. “One day, I’ll get you jokers on skateboard. Just you –“

Before he could finish his sentence, Trevor got interrupted by Dana who jumped on his back and bear hugged him from behind. Trevor turned around and pulled her in for an affectionate kiss. They planted a few more pecks on each other before finally tearing themselves apart. Nathan rolled his eyes and nudged Hayden, finding their overt display of affection amusing and slightly nauseating.

“So boys!” Dana said, clapping her hands together. “Look who I dragged along with me!”

Nathan brought his cup up to his lips and choked mid-sip upon seeing Max Caulfield shyly rear her head from behind Dana’s tall figure. Hayden’s eyes widened in excitement as he lazily draped an arm around Max’s shoulder and pulled her into their circle.

“Max Fucking Caulfield, as I live and breath,” he laughed. “How on earth did you manage this, Dana? I’ve been trying to get this one out for way too long!”

“A little persistence and a clear head, Hayden! No wonder why you failed.”

Everyone around him erupted in laughter while Nathan just stared at Max, wide-eyed. Max shifted awkwardly in her spot, tugging down on the tattered hem of her denim shorts. The buzz Nathan had felt just moments earlier slowly began to dissipate as her sudden appearance threatened to pull him back into the realm of sobriety. 

She looked so _different_ , he thought to himself. He had already been largely attracted to the Max that wore the same skull printed converse and wide assortment of hoodies but seeing her like this almost made him regret ever agreeing to just be friends with her.

He felt a hand slap him on the back.

“Yo, Nathan! Stop being rude! Why don’t you get this little cutie a drink or something,” Hayden slurred.

Dana eyed Nathan suspiciously, a hint of contempt flickering across her eyes. She had never held any fondness for him, even before she found out about everything he had done. She never trusted his motives, always thinking that he was too self-serving and arrogant to ever mean well but truthfully, Nathan could hardly blame her for sharing the same opinion as the of majority of the student body.

“ _Trevor and I_  will get Max a drink,” she answered slowly, eyes still locked on Nathan.

“I-its fine,” he replied quietly, looking up to meet Dana’s stare. “I promise.”

She continued to size him up for moment before slumping her shoulders and offering him a small nod, finally signaling her approval, “fine, but I’ll be watching Prescott.”

He gestured to Max to follow him as they quietly made their way to the bar, its surface lined with a multitude of red cups. Nathan picked one up and examined it closely, before gesturing to the bartender.

“Something not too strong I take it?” he asked her before placing an order.

“U-uh yeah.”

“A Vodka Cranberry,” he told the bartender, leaning his elbow on the bar. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I wasn't going to,” she responded, her eyes travelling towards Dana. "But she can be pretty persistent."

He smiled knowingly and shook his head, “Well you are easily convinced... _Sometimes_.”

When the bartender returned with her drink, Max picked it up and examined the red liquid inside before thanking him and turning to walking away, ready to re-join Dana and the others. 

“Max, wait!” he said, grabbing her hand. He peered at her for a moment, trying to wrack his brain for something suave or cool to say.

“I’m glad you’re here,” was all he could manage.

She offered him a shy smile before nodding her head, “I-I… yeah, thanks.”

He smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her back to the group, letting go just before Dana had turned to look at them. Nathan began to notice Max's demeanor soften as the group's mindless conversation drawled on, glad at the prospect of her finally starting to enjoy herself a little bit more. Of course he could have done without Hayden constantly pointing out that he was being way more quiet than normal and that it was ‘fucking weird’.

He felt a hand tap him on his shoulder and he turned to see Sarah expectantly peering into his eyes.

“Hey, Nathan,” she slurred as she leant into him.  

“Yo, Sarah,” he responded, trying to put some distance between them. Nathan eyed Max awkwardly, trying to gauge her reaction to Sarah’s advances and saw her eyes constantly shifting to them curiously as she continued to converse with Dana.

Nathan had hooked up with Sarah before and while they hadn't actually slept together, she had always made a conscious effort to seek him out at every party they both attended. 

“Wanna disappear with me for a while?” she purred, her breath hot against his ear. His eyes darted between Sarah and Max, increasingly unsure of what to do in his predicament. 

What was wrong with him? He thought. Max had been adamant that she was only interested in pursuing a friendship with Nathan, despite his advances. But he didn't want to destroy any potential possibility that Max would changer her mind. 

“Why are you so shy all of a sudden, Nate?” Hayden asked, raising an eyebrow at his direction. “Not like you haven’t been there before buddy.” 

Nathan gulped and eyed Max cutiously. She returned his gaze, her expression indecipherable as she stared at him for a brief moment before tearing her eyes away dismissively and continuing her conversation with Dana. 

_Fuck this, I'm can't be that whipped._

_I won't be that whipped._

Nathan turned to Sarah and smiled as she playfully clawed at his shirt, trying to draw him away from the others. 

"Alright," he said, taking her hand. "Lead the way." 

* * *

Dana followed Max's gaze towards Nathan's retreating figure. 

"Figures he'd disappear with her," she said, rolling her eyes. "I heard they've hooked up a couple of times before."

"What? Really? They have?" Max asked, before she could stop herself. 

Dana eyed her curiously, the hint of a smile playing on the corner of her lips.

"Yeah but who hasn't hooked up with Nathan. I mean, besides you and me of course, right?" 

"R-right!" 

Dana’s gaze bore into her but Max made every effort to avoid direct eye contact. She could not let Dana find out that she had in fact, been stupid enough to make out with Nathan Prescott. The last thing she needed right now was to be judged alongside the ranks of Sarah and whoever else Nathan had shared his ‘affections’ with. She watched him disappear with Sarah, her eyes starting to sting as she tried to unsuccessfully canvass the crowd for his red jacket.

_Fuck, I need to get out of here._

She excused herself from Dana and made a beeline toward the exit. It wasn’t long before she felt a hand touch her shoulder and she whirled around immediately, praying that it was Nathan. Instead, she came face-to-face Logan, towering over her with his lips spread into an impish smile.

“Holy shit, Max fucking Caulfield, what are you doing here?” he said, leering down at her. “You never come out to party! Can’t say I’m disappointed though.”

He moved in closer to her, trying to close the distance between them but with each step he took towards her, Max took a step back until she backed herself into the wall.

“Y-yeah but I’m actually on my way out now so, I’ll see you later.”

She tried to move past him but he brought his large arm up and leant it on the wall behind her, effectively blocking her way out of their conversation.

“Don’t go,” he slurred. “The party is just getting started.”

Max’s impatience began to bubble inside of her and she rolled her eyes at Logan, unafraid to show her distaste towards the deadbeat jock who had gotten Dana pregnant, only to abandon her thereafter.

“Get out of my way, Logan! I really need to leave.”

“See, this is what I like about you. You’re so damn feisty!” he told her, making no effort to move out of her way. “You’re like the only girl in this fucking school who still makes us work for it and you know I like a challenge.”

“I’m not trying to make you work for anything,” she spat at him.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he whispered with a predatory glint flashing in his eyes. He stared at Max with a smirk on his lips before bringing his head down and closer to her face. She inhaled sharply, an image of Nathan flashing across her mind.

_Please find me._

* * *

“So what are you doing here with that waif hipster? How did she even get in? Courtney has a lot of explaining to do because if I was on door duty, I’d be sure to keep the riff raff on the other side of the curtain with the rest of the losers.”

Nathan rolled his eyes at Sarah, already bored and unamused by her antics. She had made it her mission to emulate Victoria in the hopes of taking her mantle, but she came up short in more ways than one. Nathan had suspected that she was drawn to him because he was Victoria’s best friend but he had never questioned this before because he had always gotten something out of the bargain. But looking at her now, trying to force a vendetta with somebody that she had absolutely no reason to, Nathan knew that their relations had run their course and there was not enough alcohol in world that could allow him to continue to feign interest in her transparent attempts to social climb.

“She came with Dana.”

“Ugh, total pregnancy brain,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes. “Whatever, as long as she’s not here with you.” 

She pressed herself up against him, closing her eyes and puckering her lips expectantly.

“I don’t think so, Sarah. Try your luck with someone else tonight.” 

Her eyes snapped open and she stepped back, staring at Nathan in shock. 

“What the fuck? What’s your deal?”

“Nothing, I’m just not feeling it tonight or ever. Go kiss up to Zach or something, I hear he and Juliet are on the rocks,” he told her casually, leaning back against the wall. 

In one swift motion, she threw her drink in Nathan’s face, cursing him as she stormed off. Nathan chuckled to himself and coolly ran a hand through his hair.. He walked over to the bar, hoping to build up his liquid courage before he ventured off to find Max again. Leaning an elbow on the bar, he surveyed the room, waiting for the bartender to finish serving the group of giggling girls before him. His eyes drifted slowly towards the exit where he spotted Logan, hunched over and primed to make out with somebody he couldn’t identify behind Logan's large frame. He rolled his eyes, feeling a tinge of pity for the person who would be the jock’s next victim until he caught a glimpse of white tattered denim shorts.

Praying that somebody else at the party had worn the same shorts as Max, he hurriedly made his way toward the exit. Nathan’s suspicions were confirmed when he finally got close enough to see Logan bringing his head down towards Max, inching closer and closer to her face as Max squirmed uncomfortably against the wall. Nathan leapt at Logan, grabbing him by the collar of his varsity jacket and yanking him away from Max. 

“Yo! What the fuck is wrong with you Nathan!?” Logan yelled aggressively, startled by the actions of his friend.

“Back the fuck off, Logan. Leave her alone.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me, man?” 

“No,” said Nathan abruptly, standing in front of Max.

Logan’s eyes darted between Max and Nathan, before he started to grin smugly.

“You are the last person on earth who should be preaching to me man, you’re a fucking trainwreck,” he spat. “You’re just mad that I got to this one first before you could roofie her.”

Something inside of Nathan clicked and instantly he became consumed in a sensation that he was all too familiar with. He clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into the skin on the palm of his hand as his shoulders began to shake uncontrollably. Logan pushed him to the side and resumed his position over Max, instantly purging Nathan of any semblance of control that he had left. Unable to see anything but red, he propelled himself towards Logan, tackling him into the ground.

**_“Nathan!”_ **

He managed to land one punch on the side of the jock’s face before Logan retaliated and effortlessly overpowered him, pinning Nathan to the ground with one giant hand as he brought the other one down to connect with Nathan’s face. Nathan welcomed each blow like a hammer to a nail, each hit causing the back of his head to violently rebound from the floor underneath him and straight into Logan’s fist. The pain had become too overwhelming for him to feel and soon, his vision began to blur until Logan’s broad frame above him became nothing more than a silhouette.

He closed his eyes for moment as the blood speckled across his face started to interfere with his vision. He saw nothing but white as the cries of everybody around them turned into a faint murmur and soon, he could hear nothing but the sound of a defeaning ringing in his ear.  

**_“Nathan!”_ **

When his vision returned, he saw Jefferson’s dark, almost black, eyes starting down at him behind thick-rimmed glasses. He leered down at him with an impervious stare. A stare that told Nathan that he was nothing more than an ant that could be crushed underneath his shoe. Nathan had been well-acquainted with that look, it was the last thing he saw in his mind every night just as he was about to fall asleep and the first thing he saw every morning just before he opened his eyes to wake.

It triggered memories in him that he had strived to forget and haunted every facet of his being. He did not want to see that face anymore, he wanted it completely expunged from his brain. 

**_“Nathan!”_ **

Summoning what little strength he had, he slammed his knee into Jefferson’s stomach, watching him stumble back in agony. Seeing the pain in Jefferson’s face only fuelled Nathan as he picked himself up from the ground, the taste of blood potent in his mouth. He lunged at Jefferson, pinning him to the ground with a knee to his chest. Nathan felt one of his hands wrap itself around Jefferson’s throat and squeeze, while the other clenched itself into a fist that soon connected with Jefferson’s face. Excitement surged through Nathan’s veins when he felt Jefferson’s glasses crack underneath his knuckles with the third punch.   

_It’s not enough._

_He’s still moving._

_He shouldn’t be moving._

**_“Nathan!”_ **

Nathan squeezed Jefferson’s neck tighter, feeling his own fingernails break through the thin layer of skin that housed his larynx. He continued to pound Jefferson’s face into a bloody pulp until he felt the man’s attempts to struggle start to wane.

_Almost there._

**_“NATHAN!!”_ **

Nathan raised his arm to deliver one final blow, his vision zeroing in on Jefferson’s battered face, his facial hair matted with blood. Before he could bring his fist down, he felt someone tug on his arm, desperate to pull him away. He turned aggressively to address whoever it was that was trying to stop him from delivering Jefferson his comeuppance but when he came face-to-face with a pair of wide, cornflower blue eyes, his earlier aggressions began to ebb. As he continued to stare deep into Max’s eyes, he felt his muscles begin to relax and his arm drop lazily back to his side.

Slowly he tore away from her gaze and looked down at the body pinned underneath him, still breathing but each breath coming out more strained than the last. It’s battered form no longer belonged to Mark Jefferson and instead, Nathan saw Logan lying limp beneath him. Panic began to seep into his veins as he looked down at his hands, seeing that they were doused in Logan’s blood. He leapt to his feet as his eyes frantically canvassed the room, only to see the fearful stares of his classmates focused squarely on him. Max knelt down beside Logan and placed a hand on his chest. Nathan willed her to look at him, to give him reassurance but would quickly regret it the moment she met his gaze and offered him nothing but the same horrified expression.

All that he could hear was Logan’s ragged breathing, the sound more torturous to his ears than the ringing he had heard earlier. Without thinking, he ran towards the gym’s exit as fast as his legs could carry him, his screams filling the quiet void of the night as he edged closer and closer to the moon.


	7. Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought i'd whip out an update before university and work swallow me whole gahh!!
> 
> Thank you all again for the amazing feedback and kudos!! Love y'all long time! 
> 
> Song is by Glades!
> 
> Warning: uhh read the sixth additional tag for this fic... just FYI...(⌐■_■)

_“I want you when the sun goes low, your body warmth wants me close. Say you’re always by my side, till my blood runs dry. And I know I’ll never be the same without you, don’t let this moment slip away.”_

 

Victoria sat pensively in her booth at the Two Whales, absentmindedly stirring her latte as she stared outside of the large window beside her. The street outside of the diner was lined with eager commuters eager to get a jump-start on their day. The entire town continued to function as normal, each resident adhering perfectly to their daily routine without a care in the world. For Victoria however, the situation had been entirely different. Outwardly, she upheld a façade of normalcy and ensured that nobody around her was aware of the fact that her mind was still at the End of the World Party, watching her best friend beat their classmate within an inch of his life.

Hours of sleep were lost as she agonised over each possible course of action she could have taken in that moment but it only further emphasised the reality of her standing there, frozen by her fear and unable to stop her best friend from hammering the final nail in his coffin. She looked down into her latte, finally summoning the strength to bring the liquid to her lips and savouring the warmth that slithered down her throat as she took a sip. The sound of a small bell ringing echoed throughout the diner, drawing her attentions to Max Caulfield as she entered and hesitantly took a seat opposite Victoria.

Both girls scrutinized each other for what seemed like hours before Max finally decided to break the silence.

“Thank you for meeting me, Victoria.” 

“What do you want Max? What reason could you possibly have for arranging this little meeting?” She asked the brunette, her tone dripping with animosity. 

She had always held a sliver of contempt for Max. While she had never done anything substantial enough to earn her ire, she had always exuded an aura of superiority over her classmates that annoyed Victoria to no end. She never sought the approval or validation of others and instead chose to adamantly adhere to her own unique interests and tastes. It stood against everything Victoria had believed in, because after all, she had set the status quo at Blackwell. 

While this was the ultimate catalyst for Victoria’s disdain towards Max, she knew that deep down, it had also been the quality that she admired the most about her and underneath all of the ridicule and hostility she threw her way, she held deep and underlying respect and admiration for the fact that Max was forging her own path through life without a care for how she was perceived by others. It was something that Victoria had always coveted for herself but had ultimately been unable to achieve as she always caved to the rigors of social acceptance.

Max fidgeted with her hands, clearly uncomfortable with Victoria’s immediate display of hostility. “I-I wanted to talk about Nathan.”

“Go fuck your selfie, Max,” Victoria responded, immediately moving to stand up. “I don’t know what you’re playing at but I am not going to sit here and let you fish for information to get him into more trouble.” 

“What? Victoria, I’m not trying to get him into any trouble.”

“Bullshit.” 

Victoria leant down to grab her handbag, eager to leave the confines of the booth and the suffocating atmosphere contained within. A sudden touch to her arm caught her off guard and she looked up to see Max’s pained expression as her gaze bore deep into Victoria’s eyes.

“Victoria, please listen to me, ” Max pleaded in a strained voice. “I don’t want to get him in trouble. I just need to see him, I want to make sure he’s okay. He isn’t responding to any of my texts and calls.” 

Victoria examined Max’s face, unable to discount the sincerity in her tone. Hesitantly, she lowered herself back down into the plush vinyl chair, folding her arms against her chest.    

“Max, what are you talking about?” she asked. “What do you mean you need to see him? How do you even have his number?”

Max inhaled sharply, trying to organise her thoughts before she responded.

“Nathan and I are…” Max responded, slightly trailing off. “Victoria, Nathan and I have been spending a lot of time together this past month and-“

“Wait, what?” Victoria interrupted, incredulous at the words coming out of Max’s mouth. “What the fuck are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that I care about him too. I don’t care about your opinions or thoughts on that, I just care about _him_ and I need you to tell me where he is so I can see him. Please… I need to see him.”

Victoria stared at Max, stupefied at what she had just heard. She wanted to play it off as some farce Max Caulfield had cooked up in order to mess with her but the sincerity in her eyes and solemnity of her demeanour made that almost impossible. Her mind began piecing together all of the instances Nathan had behaved strangely in the past month - his depressed musings at the bar, his sudden quiet demeanour at parties and his unexplained absences during lunch, were all starting to make sense.

“You really do care about him don’t you?” she asked Max quietly. 

Max nodded in response, burying her face in her hands. “What happened at the End of the World Party was so fucked up, Victoria. I didn’t try to stop it when I could have because I was so scared. But I can’t let him go through this alone right now, it would _destroy_ him and I-I don’t want to lose him forever.”

Victoria took a deep breath as Max voiced each and every one of her fears. Nathan was unpredictable and chaotic, but his fragility had been the primary catalyst for his behaviour, often driving him to do things that still scared Victoria, even after years of friendship. Yet, her efforts to comfort him extended no more beyond the few texts and phone calls they had exchanged in the last few days since the incident. She looked at Max in front of her, ready to take that extra step for Nathan and despite the envy she felt for not getting there first, she also felt gratitude towards Max for caring about Nathan as sincerely as she did and being there for him when she could not.

“He’s been living in his car at the beach,” she responded finally, to Max’s relief.

“What do you mean, why isn’t he living at home? What exactly happened Victoria?”

“Principal Wells suspended him indefinitely pending a final decision by the Disciplinary Committee regarding –“

“Expulsion?”

Victoria nodded solemnly, taking another sip of her latte. “Logan is _still_ in the hospital right now, so his injuries must be pretty serious. Not to mention the other incidents Nathan has been involved in. I really hate to say it but expulsion just wouldn’t surprise me at this point.”

“As for why he isn’t living at home, well…” she continued. “He’s got his issues Max. I believe you when you say that you care but he should be the one to tell you about them, it just isn’t my place.”

“I understand,” Max replied, taking a deep breath. “Thank you for at least telling me where he was, I honestly didn’t think you would.” 

“Max, I know I can be a bitch, _especially_ to you. But I do care about Nathan and I can see that you do too. I’m grateful that he at least has somebody else in his life that is looking out for him. God knows he needs it so… thank you to you too.” 

Unable to find words that would be sufficient enough to express her gratitude to Victoria, Max offered her a small smile before turning to leave. As she watched Max walk out of the diner, Victoria relaxed in her seat, feeling a level of contentment she hadn’t experienced in a while and for the first time that week, despite all that had happened, she found herself smiling.

* * * 

Max spied him in the distance, his silhouette against the afternoon sun completely unmistakable to her. He was leaning on the side of his truck and smoking, looking up each time he exhaled and blowing smoke into the sky. She took a breath before she approached him, trying to gain control of her nerves as she gazed upon his tall figure. She began taking quiet and measured steps in his direction, not wanting to startle him. 

“Hey…” she said in a hushed tone when she had gotten close enough for him to hear her.

He turned his head automatically in response, his steely eyes widening upon seeing her approach. She stared at him with her mouth agape, momentarily taken aback by his appearance - his dirty blonde hair was a dishevelled mess atop his head, his cheeks were slightly hollow and dark eye bags had formed underneath his eyes, he looked so different from his ordinarily perfectly groomed self. They stared at each other wordlessly as she stood in front of him before Nathan averted his gaze.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice raspy as though he hadn’t spoken in a while. 

“Victoria, s-she told you me you were here and…I had to see you.” 

Nathan swallowed, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why not? I needed to see you, I – “ 

“I don’t want you involved. Not with me or this fucked up situation. You need to stay away.” 

He discarded his cigarette butt by flicking it onto the pavement and walked over to the driver’s side of his vehicle, no longer interested in conversing with Max. Panicked, she opened the door to the passenger’s side before he could lock it and got inside of the car. 

“Get out,” he told her, clenching his hands on the steering wheel. 

“No.”

“Max, get out.” 

“No.” 

“Get the fuck out!”

“No!” 

He slammed his hands on the steering wheel, aggravated by her refusal to leave. They sat in silence for a while with Max gawking at his side profile as he stared intently at his lap. A few minutes had passed when he suddenly closed his eyes for a brief second before burying his face into his hands. His shoulders began to heave as Max heard the sound of strained sobs emanate throughout the car. Hesitantly, she reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder, which only exacerbated things as Nathan’s entire body began to shake and his cries increased in decibel. 

She leant over the gearshift and pulled him into a complete embrace as he started uttering the words, “I’m sorry,” repeatedly in between each choked sob. 

She held him more tightly as he wept into her chest, his tears soaked through her shirt and she felt her arms slowly begin to numb, but caring about any of that had been the furthest thing in her mind at that moment. She wanted to grant him the support that she had initially deprived him of. They had only spent a short time getting to know each other, but the Nathan that she knew would never hurt anybody so brutally out of pure malice. He needed help and support but she had been too afraid and unready to give it to him sooner. However, her resolve had strengthened substantially since and she would not let this moment slip through her fingers.

Eventually, his sobs grew quiet and he finally broke away from her embrace. He ran a hand through his hair as he settled back into his seat and rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away any residual tears.

“Thank you,” he said finally.

Max smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder as they admired the view of the ocean together for the second time. Eventually, Nathan started to open up about everything concerning his suspension and Logan. He told her how something inside of him that night had snapped when Logan started to punch him – something that he couldn’t control and it terrified him. He explained that he had tried visiting Logan at the hospital, only to be harshly, but also rightly, rebuked by Logan’s parents. Principal Wells had informed his father about everything but Nathan had yet to confront him about it, not ready to face his father’s disappointment again. So instead of going back home after being kicked out of the dorms, he opted to live out of his car until the Disciplinary Board came to a decision. 

“You can’t live in your car Nathan, I think you should go home. You might have to deal with your dad but at least you’ll be able to sleep somewhere more comfortable,” she pleaded, hoping that he would see reason in her arguments. 

“Max, I hate him. I don’t want to be under the same roof as him and he can barely tolerate being under the same roof as me. I don’t want to see him.”

“Let me come with you then.” 

“Absolutely not,” he responded sternly. 

“Come on, Nathan. Let me do this! This way, you won’t have to face him alone.”

“You don’t know what he’s fucking like!”

“I don’t _care_ what he’s fucking like!” she told him stubbornly. “Let’s just go.” 

Nathan sighed, “You aren’t going to drop this are you?”

She shook her head determinedly and he groaned.

“Fucking hell, fine. But I promise you will regret it.”

* * *

Max stared in awe at the sprawling stone mansion before her, it sat atop a large and perfectly manicured lawn. The grey colouring of its roof complimented the soft grey stone perfectly and a multitude of white windows lined the exterior of the home, showcasing its three levels. Above the tall and imposing double entry doors, sat a large balcony with a white-stone railing, held up by two towering white columns. She couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated by the palatial estate as Nathan wordlessly lead her up it’s expansive driveway, stopping just before they reached the door. Max sensed hesitation and gave his arm an affirming squeeze to let him know that he had her support. 

He gave her a small nod in response before fishing around in his pocket for his keys. He opened the lock and pushed the heavy doors open, revealing a capacious foyer with white marble flooring. In the middle of the room, two sprawling staircases with wrought iron railings welcomed entry onto the mansion’s second floor, each curving to form one split staircase at the top. Two tall antique vases sat idly at the base of each staircase and hanging precariously above their heads was an extravagant crystal chandelier.

“Uh, my dad’s office is through here,” Nathan told her, gesturing towards a large door in the next room. “Let’s just go in before one of the housekeepers sees me and makes a fuss.” 

She followed him through, what Max imagined to be, the first of many living rooms, until they reached the door at the end of the western corner. Nathan gulped before knocking, nervously running a hand through his hair as they waited for a response. 

“Come in,” said a detached voice from the other end. 

Nathan exhaled and twisted the handle, pushing it open to reveal another vast room, its walls lined with an abundance of tall bookcases. To their right was a large stone fireplace with two leather chairs pointed directly towards it and in the middle of the room was a large mahogany desk with a computer sitting atop its surface along with a mess of papers. Behind the desk stood a tall, imposing man. He wore a taciturn expression on his slightly wrinkled face, which was framed by a mess of thick, light brown hair slicked lazily to his left. Max knew immediately that this was Nathan’s father when she saw that he and Nathan shared same steely blue eyes, as harsh and light as icicles. 

“Nathan,” the man said slowly, gazing directly at his son. “I would advise your friend to stay outside.” 

Max gulped, startled that he was addressing her but looking directly at Nathan, almost as though she were a non-entity. 

“Anything that you have to say to me, you can say in front of her,” said Nathan, his tone rigid.

Nathan’s father continued to stare him down with a cold and unwavering look. 

“Very well – I will make this quick then, so as not to waste both our times,” he responded. “Firstly, you are not to set foot anywhere near Sacred Heart Hospital or the Robertsons. I have cleared all of their medical expenses and agreed to make a sizeable donation towards Logan’s college fund in exchange for them not pressing any charges against you. I will not have everything this family has built be ruined by your misguided attempts to seek attention.” 

Sean Prescott paused to take a breath, while Nathan hung his head in shame. 

“As for your suspension, unfortunately my attempts to sway the Disciplinary Board have been unsuccessful. It appears that my owning half the school doesn’t matter when my own son has made a mockery of his place there by screwing up one too many times.”

“In the event that you are expelled,” he continued, not missing a beat. “I have already contacted the headmaster for Dresden Hall – the preparatory boarding school just on the other side of town. If you recall, it was where I insisted you attend before you begged me to allow you to enrol in Blackwell to pursue your foolish interests in photography.” 

“When will we hear back from Blackwell?” Nathan asked quietly, eyes still focused on the floor.

“Raymond informed me that the Board should reach a decision by tomorrow morning, I have a meeting scheduled at 10AM. I’m not sure, nor do I care where you are currently staying but just be sure to arrive promptly at that meeting tomorrow.” 

Nathan looked up and nodded his head in acknowledgement. His father eyed both he and Max before sitting back down in his chair and signalling them both to leave. Max turned to Nathan, immediately grateful for the opportunity to escape the miserable ambience of the room but she noticed that Nathan made no attempt to do the same; instead his feet remained firmly planted where he stood.

“F-father wait, I need to discuss something else with you,” he said suddenly. 

Sean Prescott looked up from his work wordlessly, his frosty gaze settling on Nathan again. 

“I think I should try therapy again Father,” continued Nathan. “I didn’t give it a fair chance before but…I think it might help now.” 

Max turned to Nathan, stunned at what he had just said, she never would have expected him to admit that he needed help beyond alcohol and drugs. Sean, on the other hand, just started to laugh as though Nathan had just told an amusing joke. It startled Max and the sound caused a chill to run through her body. He rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb before placing his hands back in front of him, immediately reverting back to his stock intimidating form.

“Therapy, Nathan? Really? Just keep taking your meds,” he responded dismissively. “I can arrange for a doctor to sign off on an increased dosage if need be.” 

“Dad the fucking meds aren’t doing shit!” shouted Nathan as he started to lose his composure. “Please, just listen to me! I know I screwed up but something is _wrong_ with me, I lost control. I-I didn’t feel like myself.”

“Is that so, Nathan?” his father replied, standing up and slowly making his way towards his son. Each movement was slow and deliberate and Max could swear he almost smiled when Nathan flinched as he suddenly arose from his chair. He stopped, merely a few inches away from Nathan before he continued to speak again. 

“Do you completely lack any sense of self-awareness? Because it seems to me that this incident fits perfectly with your character. This is just another instance of you acting like a spoiled brat who is starved for attention and never satisfied with the fact that he has had everything handed down to him from the day that he was born.” 

Max looked at Nathan as his father towered over him, his eyes were tightly shut as he continued to hang his head. She felt an overpowering sensation to reach out to him, thinking that her touch could offer him the reassurance that he clearly needed. But ultimately she decided against it, not wanting to give Sean Prescott another excuse to berate his son. She hated the man and felt her own fists start to ball the minute that he opened his mouth and spat such abuse at Nathan.

She thought about her own father, a pillar of strength and support in her life. From the time that she was young, her father lived to make her happy and constantly supported her in any pursuit that she had undertaken. She had grown so accustomed to having loving parents, that it never occurred to her that others could be any different. Seeing this man, a sharp contrast to her father, brought that stark reality into fruition and it made Max sick to her stomach. She wanted to gag at the thought that it had been her idea to subject Nathan to this and no apology she could conjure would ever express how remorseful she felt for being so ignorant. 

“D-dad, I – “

“No, Nathan!” he yelled, startling Max. “Therapy cannot fix your problems. It can’t help the fact that you are weak and don’t have the strength to tackle life like an adult, despite my best efforts to mould you into a man who deserves to be in this family.” 

“You have been nothing but a disappointment to the Prescott name and I will not let you waste anymore of my time and money on another one of your laughable ideas. You and your friend may go.” 

Sean retreated back to his desk and sat down, casually shuffling papers around as though he hadn’t just completely demoralised the boy that he sired into this world. Without further hesitation Nathan turned on his heel and stormed out of the office with Max trailing behind him. When he burst through doors, he broke into a sprint until he reached his car, leaning on it as the strength in his legs started to wane. Max chased after him, taking a minute to catch her breath when she finally caught up to him.

“Max, I can’t stay here. I don’t fucking care what happens, you can’t make me stay in that house, under the same roof as _him_. I ha-” 

“Nathan, I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “I am so fucking sorry I ever told you to come here. He’s so horrible, I-I …" 

Max trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. No words that she could utter would suffice in vocalising how she felt about Nathan’s father. She had spent only a few minutes with the man and already felt more despondent than she ever had before, she couldn’t imagine how Nathan had managed to endure that level of verbal and emotional abuse for his entire life.

“Max I hate him,” Nathan repeated quietly. “I hate him, I hate him, I _fucking_ hate him.” 

Max moved towards him, her arms slowly wrapping around his torso as he stood there, his body rigid and tense under her touch. Slowly, she could feel his disposition begin to soften as he brought his arms around her small frame, cupping the back of her head as they embraced. They stood there like that for a few minutes before Nathan offered her a reassuring pat on the head and broke away. 

“I’m okay,” he told her. “I promise, I’m okay”

Max pulled away but she could still see the agony in his expression. Her eyes travelled to a lone pebble on the driveway. She contemplated for a moment before slowly bending over to pick it up. Wordlessly, she grabbed Nathan’s arm and placed the pebble in his hand, slowly closing his fingers over it. She moved back and gave him a small smile as he eyed her skeptically. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he began to comprehend her meaning and he tightened his grip around the pebble before launching it directly towards the mansion with a powerful throw.

“Motherfucker!” he yelled as the pebble soared through the sky and straight through one of the windows on the second floor. 

They looked at each other, speechless before finally bursting into a fit of laughter.

Nathan picked up another pebble and threw it gently in her direction so that she could catch it.

“Fucking douche!” she yelled as she threw the pebble and watched it sail through the sky and into another window, her inhibitions slowly starting to dissipate as her body became overrun with a high she had never felt before. 

Nathan grabbed her hand and they ran towards the car, getting in fast so that they could make a quick escape.

Max looked back, an all-consuming thought replaying in her mind as she watched the mansion disappear behind her.

She was in love with Nathan Prescott. 

“I’ll take you back to Blackwell,” he said suddenly, eyes focused ahead as he navigated them outside of the long, winding driveway. 

“No,” Max replied in hushed tone. “Let’s go back to the beach.”

* * *

“What are we doing here Max?” 

She didn’t reply, instead choosing to stare wordlessly into the horizon, the crystal blue waters of the beach were still and looked breathtaking against the sunset in the backdrop. She felt Nathan looking at her intently, waiting for a response that never came. Max opened her door and walked out of the glossy red SUV with Nathan following in suit.

“Max, what is going on?” he asked again, as he rounded the car to stand next to her. 

“If you’re staying here,” she said, finally offering him a response. “Then I’m staying with you.” 

“No you’re not,” Nathan replied immediately. “You need to go back to Blackwell.” 

“No.” 

Nathan hunched his shoulders and sighed, too emotionally spent to afford her anymore of a reaction. 

“Max,” he said quietly. “I appreciate your support. But like I said before, I’m not letting you get involved. This isn't your problem.” 

“No... You don't get it Nathan,” she said, her tone resolute. “ _You_ are my problem. I want to be with you.” 

Nathan stared at her silently for a moment, unable to immediately comprehend what she had just said. 

“No you don’t. You said – “

“I know what I said, Nathan. Now I’m saying something different.” 

He rubbed his face with his hands, exasperated. 

“You are such a mind-fuck. Is this a joke? You want to be with me _now_ , after all of this? It’s fucking laughable.”

“Why is it laughable?” she retaliated, her voice beginning to rise in frustration. “Is it so fucking unimaginable that I would just want to be with you? Really? After everything that’s gone on between us?” 

“Max, I put myself out there and you told me that you just wanted to be friends. So yeah, I guess it is pretty fucking unimaginable that now you’re telling me something different after I nearly just killed somebody.” 

She moved closer to him and lightly touched his arm, “I-I don’t care about what you did. I know that isn’t you. Why can’t you just let me be there for you?” 

“Because it’s bullshit! I saw the way that you looked at me after what happened. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me now just because you saw how much of a jerk my father is.” 

Max exhaled sharply, “Look, I was scared. What happened was so fucked up and I didn’t know what to do. You tried to help me with Logan but it escalated into something horrible and I won’t make any excuses for that.” 

“But when the dust settled,” she continued. “All that I wanted to do was see you and be near you, to make sure that you were okay. I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for you, I’m doing this because I know you can be better and because… you’re all that I fucking think about.” 

She knew the repercussions of everything that she was saying, the gravity of her word’s plunged heavily into her shoulders and an image of Chloe flashed quickly across her mind. Her best friend would hate her but denying her feelings for the boy standing in front of her was tearing her apart as much as this incident had destroyed him. She had tried to fight it with every morsel of her being but despite everything that he had done, she still found herself inexplicably drawn to him. He had barrelled his way into her life, but it was her will that kept trying to ensure that he stayed there. 

“Max," Nathan said weakly. “I-I can’t – “

Before he could finish his sentence, Max silenced him by standing on the edge of her toes and cupping his face in between her hands as she planted a soft kiss on his lips. When she broke away, he looked at her, desperately tyring to gauge her face for an explanation. 

“Don’t start something that you can’t finish, Caulfield,” he told her quietly. 

She swallowed, the weight of his words was heavy but she remained determined in her will. She reached up and pulled him down for another kiss, a deeper kiss. He was resistant at first but slowly began to relent when he welcomed her tongue inside of his mouth. He tasted like cigarettes, it was a taste normally abhorrent to her but this time, her body welcomed it with ease. Without breaking their kiss she pulled him back towards the car until she felt her back hit the passenger door. Reaching around behind her, she searched for a handle and opened the door to the backseat, showing him that she was not going to relent. 

Nathan pulled back to look at her, his expression unreadable. He sized her up, seeing if she would take this opportunity to capitulate and when she didn’t, his lips crashed into hers, causing them both to collapse into the backseat with Nathan closing the door behind them. She lay underneath him as he positioned himself in between her legs, teasing each other with their hips. Nathan stared down at her longingly before bringing his lips down to hers. She coiled her fingers in his hair as they kissed more fervidly than they ever had before and she became enthralled as the last remnants of her reticence began to abate.

Nathan pulled her closer and ground his hips into hers, the feeling sending a thrill up her spine. She responded by moving teasingly against his and soon, their motions became one fluid dance. His breath hitched in his throat when he felt her fingers travel underneath his shirt, running up and down the length of his abdomen before she brought the material up and over his head. He leant back as he assisted her in removing her shirt, the fabric of her bra rubbed teasingly against his chest when their bodies melded into each other again.

His fingers danced on the waistband of her jeans as he planted kisses from her stomach to her hip bone. She gasped as her muscles clenched, an automatic resistance to the foreign contact. He waited until the rhythm of her breathing stilled before he began to unbutton her jeans. Max lifted her hips in response, allowing him to discard the last vestiges of her clothing. He trailed a line of kisses from her stomach to her chest until their lips finally became entwined again.

Without his mouth leaving hers, his fingers entered her and an unfamiliar energy surged through her veins. He expertly manoeuvred them inside of her, making her wonder for a brief moment how many times he had done this before. Unable to maintain their kiss any longer, she tore her face away and pulled him down, burying her face into his shoulder as each convulsion overcame her. Nathan winced as her nails broke the skin on the back of his neck but the pain only fuelled him as he began to ardently kiss her neck.

“D-do you… you know?” she whispered into his hear, her breath tickling every nerve ending in his body. 

“I do,” he replied slowly. “But are you sure?” 

She searched his eyes for a moment, before she gave him a resolute nod. Hesitantly, he pried himself away from her and dug inside of his pocket for protection, tearing the package open before awkwardly pulling down his khakis and underwear. Max took a seat next to him, unable to contain her curiosity as she observed him putting it on. The reality of what they were about to do suddenly hit Max like a ton of bricks. She took a few deep breaths in an effort to contain the nerves that began to bubble inside of her. When it had been fastened, Max expected him to resume his position above her but he just sat there, pensively and Max began to realise that the gravity of their actions had hit him too.

 _I'm not going to turn back now_ _._  

Max positioned herself wordlessly on Nathan’s lap, taking him by surprise. They stared at one another intently. The magnitude of the situation steadily increased with each second they allowed to slip by but before it could inundate them, Nathan cupped her cheeks between his hands and kissed her. The kiss was soft and timid but prolonged, with each participant daring the other to take it further. Slowly, Max opened her mouth and welcomed Nathan’s tongue inside, any misgivings that had been present before were swiftly abandoned as they explored each other hungrily. She peeled her lips away and took a deep breath before she began to lower herself onto him, wincing slightly at the unfamiliarity of having him inside of her.

Her eyes shut automatically as she tried to adjust. 

“Do you want to stop?” she heard him ask suddenly.

“No.” 

“Max, are you sure?”

“Just…shut up, Prescott.” 

She opened her eyes to see him smiling at her. To Max’s surprise, it hadn’t been the trademark smirk that she ordinarily received from him; he was genuinely smiling at her. He turned his head and trailed kisses up her arm as she clung onto him, his trail eventually leading him back to her lips. The initial discomfort that she felt just moments ago began to recede as she slowly started to rock her hips, the sensation immediately shooting waves of pleasure through each of their bodies. A sharp gasp escaped from her lips as Nathan bucked his hips forward in an attempt to connect them further and soon, their movements evolved into one fluid sequence. 

Nathan supported her hips as she danced above him, their heavy breaths piercing the silent atmosphere surrounding them. Their motions became more rapid and uneven as they both edged closer to their limit and suddenly, Nathan felt her constrict around him, hearing soft cries escape from her mouth as she became overrun with pleasure. Unable to contain himself any longer, he followed in suit and released, clinging to her tightly as he did. 

Their movements reverted back to a slow rocking as they tried to ride out the last fragments of this experience together before coming to a complete halt. Max collapsed onto him and he moved his hands from her hips to the small of her back, holding her tightly against his chest. Nathan reached for his red jacket and draped it around her shoulders as they sat there in silence, still not willing to disconnect from one another. In that moment, Max experienced a level of intimacy that handily engulfed any feelings or sensations that she had experienced just moments earlier. She welcomed it wholeheartedly and with confidence, no longer afraid of its consequence.

* * *

Nathan sat beside his father inside of Principal Wells’ office as they waited for him to join them. The door swung open, startling Nathan while his father got up slowly and turned to shake the Principal’s hand. Sean sat back down as the bald man slowly made his way towards his seat behind the desk. 

“Give it to us straight, Raymond,” Nathan heard his father say. 

“Well, Sean,” replied Principal Wells, his tone measured but authoritative. “While we appreciate your continuous contributions toward the upkeep of this institution, the Disciplinary Board has reached the decision that it can no longer tolerate Nathan’s string of violent behaviour. They feel that he is not only a danger to himself but also a serious threat to the other students.”

He turned his attentions towards Nathan before continuing, “I’m sorry, Nathan but you have been expelled from Blackwell Academy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo hope that was at least moderately tasteful!


	8. Sleep Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got bored of writing about statutory encroachments on the common law right to claim privilege against self-incrimination… so I decided to write this instead! :D  
> Also, I finally decide to break my Tumblr virginity ( ~~fitting given the last chapter, no?~~ Haha please ignore what I just said). Anyway, its really just an explosion of random reblogs and this stage, but hit me up if you want to discuss this fic, life in general or even if you just want to tell me what you had for breakfast this morning – I’m down: [restingbitchfacechronicles](http://restingbitchfacechronicles.tumblr.com)
> 
> This chapter's song is by Stars!

“We _don’t want to sleep tonight, still young like that I count the lines. Beside your mouth, that smiles now, my arms reached up as you go down. With buried heads we both forget all of the past and its regret. Wind picks up, the window shakes and we won’t hear the morning break.”_

_“Look at her, Nathan. Such a troublesome subject. She can barely even – Are you fucking crying again?”_

_Jefferson slammed his camera down on the steel table, livid. He took aggressive strides towards Nathan and grabbed his face, yanking his troubled protégé roughly towards him. Nathan winced as Jefferson’s long fingers dug deep into his cheek._

_“Listen, Nathan, how many times do I have to tell you that this business is cutthroat? You begged me to work with you, to stand by your side and teach you my process, but if you can’t even handle this, how is this ever going to work?”_

_“I-I’m sorry I just –”_

_“I don’t want to hear any of your pathetic excuses. You’re becoming more and more of a liability to me. How are you ever going to produce great art if you aren’t willing to endure the painstaking process of creating it?”_

_Nathan couldn’t reply. Truth be told, he could barely comprehend anything that Jefferson was saying. All that he could focus on was Rachel, writhing on the floor in front of him in a barely coherent state. Her movements were stunted and sluggish, causing her head to loll lazily from side to side. The discreet rise and fall of her chest assured Nathan that she was alive, but he had never seen her condition in such a dire state before, and it perturbed him. In the days prior, she had managed to exhibit a minute sense of awareness for her surroundings, but today was different. Today the Rachel Amber that he had known ceased to exist, and left behind nothing but a barely conscious shell._

_Seeing her like this revolted him, it made him physically ill. She was the most dynamic and uninhibited person that he had ever known, rife with enthusiasm for every second that life afforded her. Nobody had been less deserving of this macabre fate and the very thought ravaged every fiber of Nathan’s being. It was his fault that she lay in front of him now, unable to revel in the life that she loved so much, and he deserved every ounce of pain and torture that he was experiencing because of it._

_He felt Jefferson’s fingers press deeper into his cheek. The pressure was immense, causing his teeth to pierce the interior lining of his mouth._

_“Nathan,” Jefferson continued. “You are not listening to me again. I know the drugs make for excellent inspiration, but it’s turning your focus into absolute shit.”_

_Nathan gulped in response, trying to summon every ounce of will in his body in an effort to tear his eyes away from Rachel Amber and give Jefferson the reassuring look that he was waiting for._

_“I-I’m sorry… I’m just worried about… about Rachel. I think we should call it a day, we gave her too much.”_

_Jefferson clicked his tongue and smiled, “You are still such a boy aren’t you, Nathan? You have a lot of growing up to do before you can truly appreciate this process. This is why you can never be anything but a pale imitation of me. But that’s okay, even possessing a fraction of my talent will assure that you are able to appeal to the masses. Don’t ever forget that.”_

_He nonchalantly liberated Nathan’s face from his vice grip, allowing the boy to fall to the floor while he clutched his cheeks in agony. Nathan spied Jefferson grab his camera and resume his position over Rachel, pointing the lens directly at her limp figure. Rachel’s body began to squirm, causing her head to roll in the opposite direction and away from the obtrusive camera lens._

_“Fuck!” Jefferson yelled, agitated. “Useless fucking bitch! You had so much promise…but perhaps being pretty is all you will ever be good at. Well… amongst other things._

_Nathan swallowed, disgusted by Jefferson’s crass commentary to a teenage girl who was clearly suffering before their eyes. He looped the camera strap over his head and allowed the device to hang loosely at his chest before bringing his fingers up to massage his temples. Sharp intakes of breath escaped through his lips as he contemplated a course of action. Jefferson’s frustration was easily discernable, and it was the unpredictability that stemmed from his aggravation that Nathan feared the most._

_“Nathan,” he said calmly. “Prepare another dosage.”_

_Nathan’s eyes widened in response, he scampered up from the floor and launched himself towards Jefferson._

_“What? No, we can’t do this! She’s had too much!”_

_“Nathan, don’t test me - not now. Just do as I say.”_

_“Please!” Nathan pleaded, grabbing the man’s shoulder in desperation. “Give her some time! Let this wear off before we dose her again, she could die!”_

_Jefferson yanked his shoulder away from Nathan’s grasp and grabbed the collar of his jacket in response, pulling Nathan only a few inches away from his bearded face._

_“I said do not test me, you mediocre fuck. Sacrifices need to be made for art and if you aren’t prepared to make them then maybe your father was right about you. Maybe you are just the useless little fuck that he’s been stuck with for 18 years.”_

_Nathan’s eyes locked onto Jefferson’s. He willed himself not to cry, not to reveal his anguish at the words that had just been spat at him by a man that he admired and loathed. He detested the power that he allowed this man to wield over him. Nathan had never been classified as a pushover, but Jefferson possessed a true talent for making him crumble underneath the weight of his words._

_“Look, you owe me Nathan,” he continued. “Your father was never there, your sister fucked off the second that she was legally able to, and even your beloved mother succumbed to her sickness to get away from you.”_

_“I am the only one that is still here, putting up with your failings and still taking the time to harness your talent and mould you. You owe me.”_

_Nathan’s breathing became rigid upon realising that there was nothing he could do. Rachel would be dosed regardless of whether he protested; Jefferson was far too determined to do otherwise and he would also not allow Nathan to leave this room alive without first submitting to his will. There wasn’t a doubt in Nathan’s mind that Jefferson had the capabilities of a killer - people were like objects to him, to be used and discarded as he pleased. The drugs had zapped all of the strength from his body, so he was well aware that he lacked the ability to overpower Jefferson in a physical altercation._

_Nathan was well and truly fucked._

_And by extension, so was Rachel Amber._

_His cognisance urged him not to break, not to give Jefferson the satisfaction of letting him know that every inch of his resolve was slowly beginning to disintegrate. Jefferson gazed deep into Nathan’s eyes, daring him to reveal even a semblance of defiance, so that he could demonstrate the consequences. Nathan flinched when Jefferson made a sudden movement, expecting a strike to the face. Instead, he was pulled into an embrace. They stood there, in silence, as the older man patted his back reassuringly. Before pulling away, Jefferson’s hand slithered upwards and gripped the back of Nathan’s neck, holding the boy firmly in place. He continued to stare Nathan down for a few moments before bringing his head closer so that his mouth was directly adjacent to Nathan’s ear._

_“You owe me,” he whispered._

_He broke away slowly, his expression strangely placid as he continued to scrutinize him. A hug normally signified affection, but Nathan couldn’t shake the feeling of unrest that simmered in the pit of his stomach. He was not yelling, his face was not distorted in anger and he maintained a safe distance between them, but everything about Jefferson’s countenance was harrowing, and told Nathan that he would be subject to dire consequences if he did not comply._

_Wordlessly, Nathan retreated back to the cold, steel table behind them. He picked up a syringe, clenching it in his hand before using it to draw more liquid from the small vial beside it._

_Hesitantly, he handed the syringe to Jefferson, “Please don’t do this.”_

_Jefferson took the item into his hand, flicking the staff of the needle with an impervious smile, “Don’t get sanctimonious with me, Prescott. You are about to witness greatness.”_

_And he did._

_Greatness materialised in the foam that began seeping out of Rachel’s mouth, seconds after the needle broke through the thin layer of skin around her neck._

_Greatness arose in the violent convulsions of her body as it struggled against the toxic liquid invading her bloodstream._

_Greatness emerged in the whites of her eyes as her pupils started to roll back the very moment that her body ceased all movements._

_He could hear himself scream as he watched her die, feeling powerless as he violently shook her lifeless body and willed her to show him any sign of life. In a moment of desperation, he turned to seek guidance from his insidious mentor but Jefferson was no longer there. Instead, he had been met by the pressure of a cold, alloy barrel being pressing against his skull. His vision zeroed in on Chloe Price, who stood at the other end of the gun being held squarely against his forehead, smirking._

_Her index finger caressed the trigger with slow motions, almost as though she were taunting him. He quickly sensed movement behind her, his eyes widening in bewilderment when he spotted Max Caulfield emerge into view behind her friend. Her presence left him stunned and in his mind all that he could see was her, not the dead girl behind him or the gun thrust against his forehead, just her. The click of the trigger failed to register in his consciousness and Max’s wistful gaze was the last thing that he saw before his vision became engulfed in white._

* * *

Nathan arose abruptly from his slumber, drenched in sweat and breathing ragged. It had been a while since his sleep had been so unceremoniously interrupted by recollections of the past. He knew that he had been too optimistic in thinking that he had finally been cured of his insomnia forever. The chill of the mid-autumn night had only taken a few seconds to set back in before the hairs on his forearm began to stand on end. He hugged his knees to his chest as he tried to locate a blanket, only to find it wrapped around Max’s small form as she slept soundly beside him. She stretched all four of her limbs as far as she could, leaving only enough space for Nathan to sleep awkwardly in a small corner of the bed in the foetal position. 

 _What_ _a_ _fucking_ _cover_ _hog_ , he thought to himself.

Despite the discomfort of the cold, he found himself smiling and genuinely endeared by another of her sleeping faux pas. Sleeping next to Max had been one of the biggest challenges that Nathan ever had to face, and he had already faced a lot of other more serious challenges in his life. For such a small and petite girl, she somehow managed to occupy about 80% of the mattress, constantly shifting and restless in her sleep. She had no qualms about encroaching on Nathan’s space and physically assaulting him with one of her limbs. But worst of all, almost every night, he found himself waking up with his face mashed against her wall of selfies, and completely bereft of the blanket that they were supposed to be sharing. All of these habits would ordinarily be repugnant to Nathan, who possessed little tolerance for other people’s faults and quirks. But when they came from Max, he not only tolerated them, but they also genuinely captivated him.

 _Gross_ , _I’m_ _getting_ _too_ _soft_. 

He propped himself on his elbow as he watched her narrow shoulders rise and fall, completely immersed in a deep sleep and completely oblivious to the trouble that she had caused him. He could scarcely believe that she was there and not just a figment of his imagination. The last few days had still felt utterly surreal to him and he could barely comprehend how beating their classmate, and getting humiliated by his father, had led him here - sleeping next to the person that he thought would be lost to him forever. He felt undeserving of the feelings that she invoked within him, but nothing could stop him from capitalizing on them anyway. He wanted to consumer every part of her – her time, her touch, her thoughts and her attention – lapping up every ounce that she was willing to afford him. She had given him an inch and he wanted to take an arm; she was his new addiction, and just like the others that had befallen him before, he had completely succumbed.

But Nathan could not escape the all-consuming truth that clouded their union, the acute possibility that he would drag her down into his world – a place that was inhospitable to anybody with an iota of decency and kindness. He adored everything that she was – docile but tenacious, naïve but intelligent and reserved but passionate – but Nathan also knew that he could easily corrupt these traits that he revered so much. He was not good for her, yet he made no effort to distance himself. Max had opened the door to him, and he was not going to leave unless she forced him out. 

Nathan had never attempted to change for anybody, not one person had ever evoked an urge in him that caused him question his character and try to alter it. He had always been a remorseful person, able to acknowledge the reprehensibility of his actions; but he had also perceived himself as too far-gone to try and change for the better. But the effect that Max had on him was different, their connection meant everything to him. He needed to preserve it, to minimize the chances of its destruction, and that could only be accomplished if he changed.

He felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her, but Nathan resisted, not wanting to disrupt her sleep. He had always been very tactile with Max, constantly feeling the urge to touch her, even in the most innocuous sense. It was a trait in himself that he had never encountered before. Each one of his sexual experiences prior to her had been almost mechanical, with each participant adhering to a strict framework in order to fulfill each other’s basest needs. He had never extended beyond this framework; intimacy was so foreign to him that he never would have expected it would come so naturally. Then again, he had never had a girlfriend before. 

 _Wait_ , _is_ _she_ _my_ _girlfriend?_   

He pondered this for a moment. Neither party had bothered to classify their association. They had just slept together and Max invited him to stay at her dorm while he waited to transition into his new school, going form zero to sixty within a matter of days. Nothing about their situation had eventuated out of ordinary circumstances, but Nathan loved it and he was sure that he also loved –

_Oh God, no – fuck that! I’m not high enough for this shit._

The atmosphere around him began to feel stifling, so he slowly began to pull himself out of bed, resigning himself to the fact that any chance of rest for the night had already been lost. After successfully extricating himself from Max’s cocoon, he tried to locate his pants, finding them idly discarded by the foot of the bed. He picked them up, reaching into his pocket to find the one substitute for Max that he knew could help him relax. He pulled the small joint from his pocket, holding it between his index finger and thumb before placing it on the desk. He folded his pants neatly and laid them on the couch before unconsciously starting to pick up other loose items of Max’s clothing that she had so carelessly discarded on the floor. Nathan knew that Max would be severely displeased to find him smoking a doobie in her room, but he couldn’t risk the possibility of him being caught leaving her room while the dorm was still filled with girls.  

Ordinarily, Nathan would not care if he were caught meandering around in the halls of the girl’s dormitory, not even if he had bumped head first into Principal Wells while doing so. He had already been suspended from Blackwell, the worst that they could do was ask him to leave or be escorted off the premises by campus security. But Nathan feared the consequences that would befall Max if anybody found out that she had been harbouring an expelled student in her dorm room, especially one of the opposite sex. She had been accepted into Blackwell on a scholarship, and loved everything that the school had to offer her. Max went out of her way to try and capitalise on every opportunity, while Nathan had cruised through his time at Blackwell without sparing so much as a thought towards bettering himself through academics or arts, opting to concern himself more with the next opportunity to replenish his stash. He couldn’t be the cause of her losing everything that she had worked so hard for.  

He walked towards his jacket, immaculately folded atop the armrest of her couch, and put it on over his bare chest before making his way towards the window. He stopped in front of Lisa, Max’s plant and a cherished token from her parents. Nathan bent over and examined the Lisa’s leaves in the palm of his hand. The moonlight streaming through the window illuminated its rich, green colouring, but Nathan managed to discern the yellow discoloration on the tips of each leaf, their edges dry and scratchy against his skin. 

“She’s been slacking huh, Lisa?” he whispered, standing up and reaching for a bottle of water on the windowsill above.

He unscrewed the cap, pouring a conservative amount of water into the rich dark soil before setting the bottle down on the desk. Nathan moved the small electric fan that Max kept perched atop the windowsill, amazed that his cluttering around her room had still not waken her up. He opened the latch on the window and allowed the crisp autumn air to seep into his skin as he leant his head outside. He took a few deep breaths before picking up his joint from the desk and lighting it. A familiar calm began to engulf him, and he savoured every bit of the serenity that the cigarette provided him. 

“Nathan?” he heard a small voice say behind him.

 _Fuck_ , he thought. _Why_ _did_ _she_ _have_ _to_ _choose_ _this_ _moment_ _to_ _wake_ _up?_  

“I swear, you can sleep through almost anything, can’t you?” he asked, turning around to face her while still holding an arm outside of the window, trying to prevent the smoke from permeating inside of the room. 

“I’m sorry,” he continued. “I was really fucking trying not to wake you.”

“I’m not angry that you woke me, but... Nathan, what are you doing?” she replied, staring pointedly at his outstretched arm. “Do you really think that’s what you need right now?” 

“You never fucking complain when your dyke friend lights up.” 

“Don’t talk about Chloe like that... You know I can’t stand it when you badmouth my friends. But now you're just trying to deflect, Chloe is not the issue here." 

He gritted his teeth. Max had a real knack for riling him up, but at the same time, nobody could make Nathan submit like she did. Not even Jefferson.

He shook his head and groaned, frustrated. “I’m sorry! Okay? I wasn’t trying to be a dick.”

She looked away, still agitated by his harsh words. "Coulda fooled me." 

“I don’t apologise often, so you better start being grateful.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, shuffling her feet nervously as she folded her arms over her chest. 

He allowed his attentions to wander back to the night sky before he spoke. 

“I couldn’t sleep... I-I had the worst dream.” he told her suddenly, staring into the vast darkness before him.

“About what?” she asked curiously. 

Nathan internally debated on whether or not he should share the macabre contents of his dream with her.

“It’s not really important. I just… It woke me up, that’s all.”

Max grumbled, disappointed at his refusal to let her in. Nathan wished that she could just understand that he was doing it more for her sake than his own. 

“Plus, I also couldn’t sleep because... once again, you monopolised all of the covers!” he told her, his tone shifting from sombre to playful in an attempt to lighten the the mood and distract her from probing him for more details about his dream.

“Oh shut up, no I did not.” 

“Please, Caulfield. You are an all around nightmare to sleep with. Between the kicking, the snoring and now this, I don’t know how I am ever going to sleep again,” Nathan said teasingly.

Max smirked at him, “Maybe you should find somewhere else to squat while you’re waiting to start at your new school then.” 

“Okay,” he responded, his tone impassive. “Maybe I’ll crash with Hayden then. He’s not that anal about smoking and I’m pretty sure he has a couch to spare too. Just know that my body will be unavailable for your use during such time.”

She poked her tongue out at him, “You know what, Prescott? Fine. You’re a shitty roommate anyway. I mean, who really needs someone around who is that fastidious?” 

“What!?” he said, gaping at her. “Well maybe if you’d actually pick your shit up off the floor once in a while, I wouldn't have to be!”

“Wowsers, didn’t realise that my  _mom_  had moved in.”

They eyed each other for a few moments before erupting into laughter. 

“How did we get like this?” she asked. “We sound like my parents.” 

“I know, I know. It’s fucking creepy. Don’t worry though, I’ll be out of your hair by this weekend. They’ve asked me to move all of my stuff into the dorms before I start on Monday.” 

Max nodded her head silently. Her expression was unreadable as she averted her eyes from his.

“In all seriousness though,” he continued. “If this whole fucked up situation is too much for you, I can always move in with Hayden. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, just say the word.”

Max stared at him, her cerulean eyes gleaming in the dark.

“W-wait, are you serious? I mean you don’t have to – “

“I’ll go if you want – “

“No!” she interrupted. “Please, just… stay. I don’t want you to go.... Wowsers, you make me say the most embarrassing things.”

He could spot her cheeks blushing in the dark as she continued to avoid eye contact with him.

"I just have that effect on people." 

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you have the exact  _opposite_  effect on people."

He smiled at her, “Not on you though,  _obviously_. But okay, if you insist, Caulfield. I'll stay. You’re a better big spoon than Hayden could ever be anyway.”

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

“Plus, I couldn’t really do  _that_  with Hayden now could I?” he continued, gesturing toward her bed with eyes, his lips curled into a suggestive smirk. The blush in Max’s cheeks slowly began to intensify as she came to a realization of what Nathan was implying.

She shook her head and folded her arms, trying to regain her composure. They stood apart awkwardly, unsure of what to say to each other. Max clutched her forearm with her hand as her head began to dart around the room nervously.

Eventually, Nathan let out a groan and held his free hand towards her, "Would you just fucking come here already?"

“N-not with that in your hand.” 

Nathan clicked his tongue in annoyance, throwing the joint out of the window and holding both of his hands up to show her that it had been discarded. She smiled in response and slowly walked over to him, standing on her toes and planting a small peck on his cheek. 

“Thanks.” 

He grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace, her hands slithered up his back, reciprocating gesture. When they parted, he gestured for her to stand at the window with him and Max obliged, perching her elbows on the windowsill and allowing the fresh air to tickle her freckled cheeks. She was enveloped in Nathan’s warmth as he leaned into her from behind, wrapping his hands around her waist as they stared into the night together.

“So,” he spoke. “You know how almost everything pisses me the fuck off?”

“Mmm, I’m familiar.”

“Well, my therapist once called it having triggers. Some people have so many that they just act irrationally towards almost everything, even the most trivial bullshit. But oddly enough, they aren’t characterized as having explosive tempers because it just becomes apart of who they are and their irrationality comes out like just regular annoyance.”

Nathan couldn’t see her face, but he knew that Max was transfixed by what he was saying. She hadn’t moved or even tried to interject, so he decided to continue.

“Others only have a few but once triggered, they explode into a fit of rage because their anger is not something that they’re accustomed to. They don’t know what else to do with it, so it comes out in the most explosive way possible. According to my therapist, I encompass both categories.”

“Wowsers, and here I thought you never actually listened when you were in therapy,” Max finally responded, her tone thoughtful. 

“Yeah, they didn’t think I listened either, but I was. I just thought that their advice was bullshit, so I sat there waiting for them to give me a refill on my meds. I figured that it would be easier to go through my fucked up life with the mindset that I was the type of person who was easy to hate, as opposed to thinking of myself as somebody who was hard to love and needed work. I didn’t want to put in the fucking effort.”

Nathan had been met with silence again, as Max stared out of the window wordlessly reflecting upon his words. He buried his face into her hair, taking in the scent of apples amidst her brown locks. In response, she rested her hands on top of his as they clutched her waist, tightly interlocking their fingers together.

“Y-you make me feel differently though…” he continued, his tone strangely vulnerable. “I'm not okay with you hating me, I don’t want it to be easy for you.”

“What? Nathan, I don’t hate you! I could never hate – “

“You say that now but I know how little it would take for you to start singing a different tune,” he interrupted. “Max, you push each and every one of my triggers and I’m not just talking about anger. You also make me feel fucking calm and content like I never have before, and I'm always happy when I'm around you. It's weird, half the time I almost feel like i'm turning as soft as fucking  _Warren_ or something. I feel like a completely different person but it all seems worth it because _you_ are worth it, and I want to keep changing for you." 

Max twisted from his embrace, turning to face him. He was insulting one of her best friends, a point that she would chastise him for later, but right now, all that she could feel was a strange lightness inside of her; her insides felt so weightless that she thought she might start to float. Her feelings continued to intensify with every day that they spent together, but nothing could compared to the elation and fear that she felt at this very moment. It was the progress that she had always wanted for him, even before they had started spending so much time together. But by the same token, she wanted him to want this for himself and not just her. 

Max placed a hand on his chest and looked into his eyes, “I could never hate you Nathan. I didn’t then and I don’t now. I love that you want to be a better person and I know that you can do it. But its important that you do this for yourself.”

“No, I know that!” he assured her. “I do want this for myself, but is it so fucking wrong to want this for you too? I’ve never felt like I was capable of change but you make me feel differently.”

She looked at him, trying to be stoic, but her eyes were far too expressive to mask the sudden reluctance that flashed across them. She wanted Nathan to better himself on his own accord, and not just because he thought that doing so would be met by her approval. The pressure was immense, not just for Nathan but also for her. She didn't want to be another person that manipulated him to suit her will, otherwise she would be no better than his father or Jefferson, and she didn't want to replicate the destructive impact that they had on his life. 

Nathan could see her misgivings as plainly as day. He wanted to protest, to try and convince her further, but he knew that words would not suffice. He soon felt her arms begin to snake around his torso and she enveloped him into another tight embrace before burying her face into his chest. He knew that her hesitation, however slight, was something that he needed to address. He had been so strong in his resolve, but he couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that she didn’t share the same confidence, and it bothered him. But ultimately, Nathan was apprehensive of exploring her reasoning. He was scared of what he would uncover, and wasn't prepared to lose her because of it. 

He felt Max tighten her grip around his torso, pulling him in even closer. It was all the clarification that he needed to know that she was also not ready to have her doubts examined and fed, so he pushed those thoughts aside and kissed the top of her head. The tension between them grew more palpable with each second that passed, and the air surrounding them became thick and unforgiving. Nathan wanted her to forget about her doubts, to just give herself to him completely as he had with her. He knew how he could accomplish this, but the solution felt hollow and fleeting.  

He cupped her chin, determined to pursue it anyway, and ushered her face closer to his as he pressed his lips gently against hers. 

“I’m sorry about lighting up in here,” he told her softly, his face only inches from hers. “I know you hate smoking, and generally, everything fun.”

“Why do you always have to ruin things with your jerkiness?”

“Because you’re so much hotter when you’re annoyed.”

Almost as though she were snapping out of a trance, Max's eyes suddenly widened and she gave him a playful slap to the arm.

“Oh my god, you are so unbelievable.”

A mischievous smile began to spread across his face.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he whispered against her lips, winking.

Before she could protest, he scooped her mouth with his, allowing their tongues to briefly graze against each other before pulling away. He planted another kiss on her chin, and continued downwards until his lips travelled past her chest.

“N-nathan, what are you –“ 

She stopped herself mid-sentence, shocked when Nathan lowered himself to his knees in front of her and slipped his fingers underneath her shirt, slightly lifting the fabric and teasingly brushing his lips against her abdomen. His fingers trailed down, settling on the waistband of her pajama bottoms. He tugged on them lightly, and in one swift motion, the lower half of her body became completely exposed.

“N-nathan, come on w-what are you – “ 

Her attempts to reason with him were ignored as he planted another kiss on her bare pelvic bone, causing her to completely lose her train of thought. They had slept together a number of times since their first encounter, but Max could never quite adapt to how brazen he truly was. Her breath hitched in her throat as his mouth travelled further south and her entire body began to tingle with euphoric sensations. Max had experienced them before, but each time still felt like the first and never failed to rattle her to her core.

His explorations ignited a current of electricity within her, travelling through her body slowly at first before pulsating more rapidly as though they were about to break through her skin. Her breathing turned more and more unbalanced as the strength in her knees started to crumble, she was completely at his mercy. She clutched at the windowsill behind her, her knuckles whitened as she desperately tried to maintain her balance.  

* * *

Nathan awoke to the high pitch shrill of his cell phone, ringing and vibrating profusely beside him. He opened his eyes automatically, his retinas trying to adjust to the daylight streaming into the room. He reached over to grab his phone, noting that Max was no longer beside him. 

 _She’s_ _probably_ _already_ _in_ _class_ , he thought to himself as he rubbed his eyes, absentmindedly swiping the screen to answer the call.

“Yeah?” he spoke into the receiver, his voice still groggy. 

“Little bro!”

Startled by the loud voice on the other end of the line, he yanked the phone away from his ear. 

“Kristine?” he asked, putting the call on speaker and holding the phone in front of his haggard face. 

“The one and only!” his sister replied.

He felt a lump begin to form in his throat. It had been a while since he had spoken to Kristine, and Nathan was only just starting to realise how deeply he actually missed her. 

“Nate, it’s like 11:30 in the morning,” she continued. “Why does it sound like you've only just woken up? Don’t you need at least three hours to do your hair?” 

“Oh shut up,” he replied defensively, automatically running his fingers through his dirty blonde locks. “Why did you call anyway?” 

“Don’t be mad but… Dad told me what happened.” 

Nathan paused, gritting his teeth. 

“Yeah, I bet he really fucking emphasised how much of a fuck up I am too, huh?” he spat, trying to resist the urge to throw his phone at the wall.

“Come on, Nate. Just relax. Let’s not waste our time on another Dad-bashing session, he’s not worth it,” she soothed. “That isn’t why I called you anyway, I wanted to surprise you.” 

“What do you mean ‘surprise me’?” 

“I’m heading to Nepal for a few weeks but my flight has a layover in Portland. I’m about to jump in a rental and drive down to Arcadia Bay! I should be there by this afternoon, so you better make time to see me!” 

“Holy shit, are you serious!?” he asked in a booming voice, not even trying to cloak his excitement. 

“Hell yeah I’m serious! I miss that broody little face of yours too much to pass this up.” 

“Shit, well yeah! Of course! Just say when and where.” 

He looked over at the empty space beside him. 

“Actually,” he continued. “Do you mind if I bring someone?”

"Victoria?” 

“Nah, you’ll just have to wait and see. Now its my turn to surprise you, Sis.” 

“Ooh you are such a little tease, but whatever, I’m excited! Let’s give Dad’s charge card a little workout and book a table at The Monarch. I could really go for a bowl of lobster bisque after slumming it in the jungles of Brazil for so long.” 

“Alright,” he replied. “Done and done. I’ll see you there.” 

He clicked his phone off and jumped out of bed, suddenly eager to start his day. He made his way to the door and poked his head out, examining the corridor for any lingering females. When he saw that the coast was clear, he retreated back inside and picked up a bag full of his clothes and toiletries, slinging it over his shoulder as he made his way out of the room. Just as he stepped out into the hall, the door across from Max’s room swung open and out walked Victoria, absentmindedly thumbing at her phone. He stood there, frozen, as she lifted her head to see who was standing in front of her. 

Her eyes widened, aghast at the sight of him. 

“N-nathan, w-what are you – “ 

“Please don’t be so fucking loud,” he whispered to her frantically, gritting his teeth. “I can explain, but not here.”

She opened her mouth to debate, but eventually relented and nodded her head, gesturing for him to follow her back into her room. He stepped inside, feeling awkward at his surroundings. The duo had always been inseparable, so he had already been inside Victoria’s room on multiple occasions. But it had been a while since they had actually seen each other in person, and he could not ignore the palpable tension that permeated between them. She stood in front of him with a hand on her hip, looking at him expectantly and waiting for him to afford her an explanation. He opened his mouth a few times in an attempt to speak, but no words came out.

Sensing his hesitation, Victoria opted to speak first. 

“Did I really just see you do the walk of shame out of Max’s room?” she asked, sizing him up with her penetrating brown eyes. 

He pursed his lips and ran a hand through his hair, “It’s… not like that.” 

“Then what is it like, Nathan? What the fuck is going on with you?”

“Will you just let me explain?” 

“Explain what?” she continued. “First, I find that you have some weird secret friendship whatever-the-fuck-it-is thing going with Maxine Caulfield, then you shut me out completely for like a week and now, I catch you walking out of her dorm without a fucking shirt on?” 

She groaned exasperatedly and fell backwards onto her bed. 

“You’re supposed to be my best friend,” she said quietly, gazing up at the ceiling as she lay on her back.

“Okay then, lets talk about that,” he retorted, his frustrations beginning to rise. “Yeah, I stopped talking to you. But you didn’t once try and find out what was going on with me! I was fucking expelled!” 

“Well what you did was fucked up!” 

“Don’t you think I already know that!?” 

They paused - both equally shocked at how quickly their confrontation had escalated. 

“I didn’t know what to say, Nathan…” 

“After years of friendship, you didn’t know what to say? Really, Victoria?” 

Victoria shut her eyes tightly, clearly tormented by this entire exchange.

“I was scared,” she said in a barely audible tone, her voice shaking. “I-I didn’t know what to do. You scared me Nathan.” 

She reached for a pillow and placed it over her head, trying to conceal the pained expression plastered across her unblemished face. He released a dejected sigh, and walked over to her bed, collapsing beside her. He reached for the pillow and pulled it away from her face, throwing it lazily to the side. Nathan folded his hands behind his head and gazed up at the ceiling.   

“I know I did,” he replied softly, not an ounce of aggression remained in his tone. “I never apologised for putting you through that. I’m so sorry, Vic.”

“I’m sorry too... for abandoning you when you clearly needed help.”

He nodded his head solemnly in response, acknowledging her apology.

“I want us to be okay, Nathan,” she continued, laying on her side and facing his profile. “I hate that it’s weird between us.” 

“We will be okay,” he assured her. 

“How do you know?” 

He shrugged, “Because its us, and we are pretty fucking indestructible.” 

Instinctively, a smile began to creep onto Victoria's pale pink lips, “Damn right we are, nobody understands us like we do.”

The atmosphere surrounding them had shifted from being hostile and awkward to comfortable and accommodating, just like it had always been between them before.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Victoria asked, breaking the silence.

“I start at Dresden Hall next week.” 

“Dresden? Are you serious? God, everybody there is a spoiled colossal douchebag. You should fit right in,” she teased, poking her tongue out at him.

“You and me both,” he retorted, winking at her. 

Victoria smiled and shifted. 

“So, I hear Logan is coming back to Blackwell soon. He’s almost fully recovered.” 

“Shit, are you cereal?” Nathan replied in shock. “Fuck, what a relief. Sean told me to stay as far away from the hospital as I could, so it was hard to find out any fucking information.”

“Yeah, the doctors said – wait, what the fuck? Did you just say ‘are you cereal’?” 

Nathan’s eyes widened, as the heat in his body began to rise to his face, causing a blush to extend past his cheeks and travel to the tips of his ears.

“N-no I –“ 

“You totally fucking did!” Victoria teased. “Oh my god, Max Caulfield is soo rubbing off on you! You filthy little hippie.” 

“No she’s not!” 

“Yes she is!”

He grabbed the pillow next to him and brought it down on Victoria’s face. His pouty expression only fuelled her laughter as she peeled the pillow off her face and threw it back at him.

“Actually,” she said suddenly. “Speaking of Max, are you ever going to fucking tell me what the hell is going on between the two of you?”

He took a deep breath, wondering where he was even going to begin explaining something that he had barely come to terms with himself.

“How much time do you have?” he asked her.

Victoria rolled over and faced him, leaning on her elbow.

“I have all the time in the world for you, my pretty little waif hipster.”

* * *

Warren pushed open the double doors that separated Blackwell’s halls from its lush green courtyard. The afternoon sun stung his retinas immediately upon exposure.

“Egads!” he yelled involuntarily, shielding his deep brown eyes with his forearm. “It’s supposed to be freaking Autumn! My eyes are my livelihood - Be kind cruel star!”

He heard somebody laugh behind him, “You are such a trip Warren!”

Dana rounded his figure and stopped to stand in front of him, shaking her head in amusement at his antics.

“Why do you always sound like Hamlet when you speak?”

“Cheerleader oh cheerleader, humble spirit enthusiast, its all part of my image. Ladies love a guy who can enunciate.”

“Oh you’re totally right, Warren! The way that Trevor rolls his R’s has always been one of his biggest assets,” she said, winking at him.

Warren’s eyes widened as he began to grasp her meaning, a blush began to creep up to his cheeks.

“Oooh, I see the gears turning,” Dana teased.

Warren shook his head, trying to erase the raunchy visuals that flooded his brain.

“U-uh w-well speaking of ladies who love Warren, or rather, ladies who devastate Warren and rip his confidence to shreds, do you know where Max was today? It’s like the second time that she’s skipped science class.”

Dana cocked her head thoughtfully. “Actually, now that you mention it, I haven’t seen much of Max at all lately.”

She continued down the concrete steps with Warren following in suit.

“Are you serious? Man, she’s been totally MIA.”

“There’s Kate!” Dana said suddenly, pointing to the petite blonde leaning against a large, sprawling tree in the distance. “Her and Max are pretty tight, maybe she knows something!”

They walked over to Kate, watching her slowly start to sense their presence as she lifted her head and flashed them a warm smile. Dana exchanged a few pleasantries with her and asked her how she had been coping since the Mark Jefferson incident, her expression filled with genuine concern. Kate began to shift uncomfortably in response.

“I feel much better now. Its still hard to think about, b-but its also something that I’m beginning to think about less and less.”

“That is amazing, Kate!” Dana smiled. “Look, I don’t want you to ever feel that Max is the only person that you can rely on at Blackwell. So if you ever need a distraction, just let me know. I’d be more than happy to sip tea and gossip about boys with you.”

A large smile started to spread across Kate's small face, so wide that it caused the corners of her eyes to wrinkle. She accepted a hug from Dana, squeezing the tall cheerleader as tightly as she could, thankful for all of her support. 

Warren stood there awkwardly, scratching the back of his head and waiting for the girls to finish their emotional exchange.

“Ditto Kate,” he said. “I’d happily engage in a girly gossip session for you. Like, don’t even get me started on Evan – that boy has charisma for days.”

The two girls laughed, and Warren was happy that he had managed to bring a smile to Kate’s face. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but he had always held a soft spot for Kate Marshall. It wasn't as all-consuming as his one-time unrequited love for Max, but it was still there nonetheless. Maybe it was his hero-complex, or his penchant for shy and timid girls, but he always found himself willing to go above and beyond for her; even going so far as to knock the phone out of Brooke’s hand when she tried to broadcast Kate’s video to him and Stella. She was kind, courteous, smart and –

_Woah, Warren. Where did all that come from?_

His thoughts were interrupted when the roar of an engine ripped through his cognizance, forcing him back into reality. The three of them turned towards the vehicle that the offensive noise emanated from. Its windows were rolled down and the hip hop music blaring loudly inside reverberated through the air, disrupting the peaceful ambience that had surrounded them just moments ago with  bass-heavy beats and a string of profanity. 

**_Yeah I don't like talkin' to strangers_ **

**_So get the fuck off me I'm anxious_ **

**_I'm tryna be cool but I might just go ape shit_ **

**_Say "fuck y'all" to all of y'all faces_ **

Warren spied Nathan Prescott sitting in the driver’s seat, leaning back with one arm draped around the steering wheel. He gestured to somebody who was leaning against the wall near the steps that lead up to Blackwell’s grounds. Warren stared in complete bewilderment when Max emerged into view and walked over to the car.

 _Shit! Is she in some kind of trouble?_ He thought to himself worriedly _._

Instinctively, Warren stepped forward to come to her aid, but Kate extended an arm and grasped his shoulder firmly, trying to hold him back.

He and Dana turned to face her, confused as to why she was trying to restrain him.

“Its… not what it looks like,” Kate said quietly. “Just watch.”

Warren frowned, turning his attentions back to Nathan and Max. He watched her climb into the giant SUV with ease, even laughing at something that Nathan had said. Nathan tore his eyes away from Max, spotting the three of them observing from a distance. Warren spied Nathan whisper something into Max’s ear, and she jerked her head around to face them. The smile on her face began to fade as she peered at them, clearly uncomfortable as she brought her hand up and gave them an awkward wave.  

She shot them an apologetic look before she hung her head, looking even more pained as she stared down into her lap. Even if they were at a distance, Warren could swear that Nathan was looking directly at him as he started the engine. His lips were curved into a smirk as he poked his tongue out in Warren’s direction, flashing him a condescending peace sign with his hand before he revved the engine and took off.

_Son of a bitch…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY WARREN. I LOVE YOU, BUT NATHAN DOESN’T. Or maybe he does, what would I know #grahamscott XD
> 
> PS. You guys consistently blow me away with all of the positive reinforcement you give me for this fic. I really cannot thank you all enough <3
> 
> PPS: And the song playing inside of Nathan's car is 'Me, Myself & I' by my boyfrannd (I wish) G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha


	9. Pretty Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sighhhh apologies if I've been rather lax in updating. In the words of one of the greatest scholars and voices of our generation, I was busy with "work work work work work work" :(
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter's song is by Little Dragon!

_“You magnify the universe. Grab your purse, grab your luck – Pretty Girl, don’t get stuck.”_

**Max** : Warren! Shit, I know what u saw was weird but I can explain.

_Seen_

**Max:** Warren? 

 _Seen_  

 **Max:** R u mad :(?

 _Seen_  

Max shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she continually checked her phone for a response. She was still able to clearly envision the stunned expressions on her friends’ faces as though they were seared into her memory. She hadn’t intended for them to find out this way, she had planned to tell them eventually - as soon as Nathan had moved out of her dorm room. But now that plan was in ruin, and all she could think about were her friends perceiving her as deceitful. Her knee bounced up and down uncontrollably as she nervously fiddled with her hands, the feat of trying to sit still becoming more and more impossible with each second that passed. 

“I wish that seat had an ejector…” Nathan said, impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he awaited the “Go” signal. 

“S-sorry I’m just a little rattled. I can’t believe my friends just saw that.” 

“We weren’t filming a porno, Crackfield. All they saw was you getting into my car. So fucking what? It doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Kate was there with them,” Max told him. “She knows that – Well actually, she knows that we’re friends and not…you know… so she’ll probably tell them that at the very least. I’m not mad or anything, I just wish I had the opportunity to tell them first before they had to find out like that.” 

“So what? What difference does it make?” Nathan asked, his tone dripping with annoyance. “I told Victoria about us, but it wouldn’t have mattered what she thought because all that matters to me is what we think about each other.”

Her chest constricted upon hearing his words and the constant fluttering in her stomach made it difficult for her to breath. Nathan spoke these things so casually, like those words didn’t carry any significant weight, but to Max they meant everything. She wanted to reach out and touch him but her timidness had returned. She silently chastised herself for not being able to articulate her feelings, and wondered how long that would go unnoticed.

“I … you know I feel the same way. I just don’t want them to think – “

“Who cares about what they think!” 

“They are my _friends_ , Nathan! Stop trying to make me feel like shit for caring about them.”

He clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on the steering wheel, keeping his focus on the road ahead. Max could tell that he was trying to hold back, and she was thankful for it – the last thing that she needed right now was for Nathan censure further. The buildings and pedestrians lining the streets melded into a long stretch of contrasting colours, their distinct features no longer discernable to Max as they sped past in silence. 

The awkwardness between them became more evident when the car halted at another traffic light, with Max and Nathan strong in their resolve not to be the first one to crack. Max heard him begin to drum his fingers irritatingly on the dashboard, unsure of whether it was out of boredom or to provoke her. She cocked her head slightly, trying not to be too conspicuous as she attempted to catch a glimpse of him sitting beside her. Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly crane her neck any further without getting a cramp, she found herself staring into his eyes as they peered directly into hers, his gaze as frosty as a mid-winter morning.

They both jerked their heads forward, Nathan in an attempt to maintain his aloof façade and Max trying to preserve the last ounce pride that she had left. She peered at him from the corner of her eye and found herself inadvertently smiling when she saw his eyebrows wrinkle as he desperately tried to contain his laughter. She nonchalantly turned to the window beside to her, trying not to chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. With her eyes still locked on the scenery outside, she extended her hand slowly until she felt his resting on the gearshift. She poked it playfully until he relented and enveloped her hand with his.

She peeled her eyes away from the window and turned to face him, his profile was stoic as he gripped her hand tightly. 

“Do you still wish the seat had an ejector?” 

The corner of his mouth began to twitch, betraying his composed exterior as it threatened to curve into a full-blown grin.

“No.”

* * *

Kristine sashayed into the restaurant, drawing the stares of affluent diners as she weaved through their tables with her long, sandy brown hair trailing airily behind her. As her tall frame drew closer to the table, the ambient lighting of the restaurant illuminated her intimidatingly alluring features, and Max felt her stomach begin to clench. She could see the characteristics of Nathan’s facial features on Kristine – his nose, his cheekbones and even his eyes – but they translated much softer on her. She didn’t share the severity of her brother’s visage, appearing almost ethereal before them, even in the way that she moved.

Nathan cleared his throat and stood up awkwardly, his countenance was almost bashful as he raised his hand to greet her, and it was a side of him that Max had never seen before. He offered her a small wave but she crashed into him, wrapping her slender arms around his shoulders as Nathan’s body stood rigid under her embrace.

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much!” said Kristine; her words were long and pronounced, and laced with a strange British intonation that had initially startled Max. 

Nathan’s shoulders relaxed and he tapped her back affectionately before pulling away.

“Darling,” she continued, holding him in place in front of her as she examined his appearance. “You look positively malnourished. Are you eating well?” 

Nathan scoffed, “I’m eating just fine, and you aren’t fooling anybody with that weird English accent, I spoke to you on the phone like a second ago. I _know_ what you sound like.”

“Yeahhh but your friend here doesn’t!” Kristine pouted, playfully punching her brother on the arm. “Oh you’re no fun, Nate. I was just trying to be cool I mean, _come on_.” 

Max’s eyes darted between the two siblings, confused. 

“O-oh right. Fuck, sorry uhh Max, this is Kristine Prescott - my sister, and no she isn’t British.” 

Max felt the heat in her body rise as Kristine’s eyes travelled to her, her lips slowly spreading into an amiable smile. 

“I really want to hug you, but you seem nervous and ‘Mr Personality’ here might get mad at me for embarrassing you,” she winked, gesturing towards Nathan. “So why don’t I just shake your hand?”

Despite her nerves, Max felt herself chuckling at Kristine’s infectious charm, taking the older girl’s hand in hers. 

“S-sure, I’m Max by the way. It’s really great to meet you.”

“Likewise! You’re a cutie! How do you know Natey?” she asked as they took their seats, her eyes darting quickly towards the door before settling on Max and Nathan.

“Don’t call me ‘Natey,” he groaned, taking a sip of his water. “But yes Max, how do you know me? Hmm?” 

He shot her an innocent gaze, eagerly awaiting her response to the question. His demeanour seemed sincere but Max knew him well enough by now to detect the mischievous glint that flashed across his eyes. He was trying to get her to define their relationship first, despite knowing how difficult it was for Max to articulate. 

_Nathan, you jerk!_

Max swallowed, “W-we’re u-uhh, w-we’re – “ 

“We’re hanging out,” he finished finally, leaning back in his seat and smiling a triumphant grin. Max could never understand why he derived so much joy from watching her squirm, but something about Nathan’s proclamation that they were just ‘hanging out’ irked her.   

_Hanging out? Really?_

She kicked him aggressively under the table, watching in satisfaction as yelped in pain and gripped his leg. 

“You two are such a riot! But I get it though – I guess you two haven’t ‘defined the relationship’ yet, huh?” Kristine laughed, accentuating the phrase with air quotes. “But ‘hanging out’? Really Nathan? That is such a _guy_ response.” 

“Totally,” Max giggled, feeling her earlier inhibitions begin to dwindle way. 

Kristine winked at her assuredly, instantly piercing the barrier that Max had initially erected between them with just one simple gesture. Ordinarily, she was somebody that Max would have been intimidated by, but she projected an overwhelming magnetism that would cause even the most socially inept person to feel a sense of understanding and camaraderie. She was so different from her brother, whose first instinct was to treat people he didn’t know with disdain. But in his own way, Nathan had also evoked the same sense of acceptance inside of Max. He challenged her every inhibition, constantly daring her to express how she truly felt instead of hiding behind false pleasantries to appease him. She cared about Chloe dearly, but sometimes, even she felt that she had to capitulate to her when she did not want to, so as not to provoke her anger or upset her.

Nathan had exploded into fits of extreme anger and hostility, hurling insults at her that Max would have never even used on her worst enemy. He was antagonistic, blunt and childish, but it forced her to be brave and fearless when she dealt with him. She was never afraid to be herself around him, or vocalise her own thoughts and opinions and he had never once rejected her for it. It was this dichotomy in his personality that provided Max with a certain measure of comfort and assurance to reveal a side of herself that she didn’t even know was there. _He_ pushed all of _her_ triggers, and she was certain that she loved him for it. 

The thought was all consuming and overpowering. It was something that she had pondered to herself before but was never brave enough to acknowledge because it would solidify just how deeply she had gotten herself involved with Nathan. She stood up suddenly, excusing herself before making a beeline for the bathroom, much to Nathan and Kristine’s confusion. She burst through the swinging door and headed straight for the sink, splashing water on her face and thankful for the fact that she had never been one to worry about makeup. She pressed her hands down on the rim, using her arms to hold her up as her knees began to shake. Flickers of blue traversed into her mind as the knot in her gut restricted even tighter, realising that the only thing that was left to do was finally tell the one other person that she cared about this much.

* * *

“Come on little brother, no girl wants to hear that you are just ‘hanging out’ with them.”

“Max isn’t an idiot, she knows what I mean.” 

Kristine rolled her eyes, picking up a breadstick from the basket in front of them and pointing it directly at Nathan’s face. 

“Why do you guys always assume that we know what’s going on in your heads? I mean, you tell us not to read too deeply into things but you love to keep us guessing.”

“Just cool it, _Oprah_ ,” Nathan replied. “I don’t know if I want relationship advice from somebody who’s dated every lifeguard in the seven continents.” 

“Can you blame me? Have you seen their abs?” Kristine retorted, taking a bite out of the breadstick. “Look, I’m just saying that you seem to really like this girl, so don’t fuck it up because trust me, you don’t have the washboard abs to win her back.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? What’s wrong with my abs!?”

“I don’t know if a ribcage counts as abs,” she winked, swallowing the last remnants of the breadstick. “But speaking of that, Nate – I know I already asked but are you eating alright? You look a little thin…” 

“I’m fine…Blame my metabolism.”

“Well that’s… good, I guess.” 

“Look,” he responded, sizing her up. “I know you want to tell me something so just spit it out already.” 

Kristine smiled, “And here I thought I was being demure.” 

“Maybe to somebody else, but not to me. I’m your brother.” 

He cocked an eyebrow at her suspiciously, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest as he waited for her to respond. 

She peered at him thoughtfully, lolling her tongue inside of her mouth as she debated on the best way she could articulate what she needed to convey. 

“I think… I think you should consider moving back to Fort Lauderdale and living with Grandma,” she spoke finally. 

“What? Where did this come from? Because I swear if this is all fucking Sean I’ll – “ 

“Relax,” she soothed. “It isn’t Sean, this is all me. Grandma’s lonely – she could really use your company and truth be told, you could use a fresh start. Being in Arcadia Bay hasn’t done you any favours. You need to clear your head and start anew.”

“Are you kidding me?” he asked her incredulously. “You literally just told me not to ‘fuck things up’ with Max, and now you’re telling me to fuck everything up by _leaving_?”

Kristine paused, a sliver of hesitation flickering across her eyes. 

“Maybe you leaving is exactly what you need to do not to fuck things up…” she spoke quietly. “D-dad he… he thinks that sending you to Dresden Hall will straighten you out but Nate, I went to that school and I know the kind of assholes in it. I just don’t want you to be influenced…” 

“I am _not_ a child, and I’m also not going anywhere. We barely see each other, Kristine. I can’t believe you are ruining what little time we have together with this bullshit.”

Nathan addressed his sister with a cold gaze, her expression incomprehensible as she held his stare. Moments had passed before Kristine finally smiled, sighing as she relented from his animosity.

“I had a feeling you’d say that, Nate - you’ve always been really stubborn. Which is why I thought of a backup plan.” 

“What ‘backup plan’?” Nathan groaned.

* * *

Max leant against the wall next to the bathroom as the door swung closed beside her. She patted down her jeans, trying to collect herself before she willed her legs to carry her back to the table. Her eyes grew wide as she approached, spotting a tall boy sitting in her place. She stopped just a few metres away, hesitating on whether she should interrupt the deep conversation he was engaged in with the two Prescotts, but Kristine caught sight of her and beckoned her over with a smile. 

“Max, hey! I’d like you to meet someone!” she called, gesturing to the boy sitting with his back turned to her. 

Nathan shifted to face her, flashing her a strained expression as the boy sitting beside him followed in suit.

Max was shocked when the boy stood up and turned to face her completely. She could immediately tell that he was related to Nathan, they looked almost identical save for nose ring looped through his left nostril and his wide emerald green eyes. They shared the same dirty blonde hair, but his was not as polished and clean cut as Nathan’s. The unknown boy’s hair was longer and sat in a messy, yet oddly stylish, heap atop his head. He wore a tattered denim jacket over a white fitted t-shirt and a long silver chain with a ring threaded onto it hung loosely around his neck. His khakis were tight around his long legs and tucked into a pair of black Doc Martens. 

His face was transfixed into a mystified expression as he peered at Max closely, his eyes travelling up and down the length of her body. Max noticed that he shared the same thin lips as Nathan, making his high cheekbones even more prominent as his lips curled into a wide smile. 

“Woah! Hey, are you Max?” he asked, grinning at her. 

Before she could respond, Nathan waved his hand dismissively at the boy.

“Yes that’s Max,” he groaned. “You’re also sitting in her seat so you better – “ 

“Fuck, you’re totally right, Nate! How rude of me…” 

Max’s eyes flitted between the empty chair and his tall figure as the boy towered above her. 

“U-um… Its o-okay, I –“ 

“Say no more, Cutie Pie,” he responded, winking and turning to the table behind them. A middle-aged woman sat alone, prodding at her salad and disinterestedly scrolling through her phone. She looked up, shocked when he leaned over the empty chair and flashed her an inviting grin. 

“I know it’s almost criminal for a distinguished woman, such as yourself, to be sitting at a table alone, but do you mind if we steal this chair?”

The woman brought a hand up, twisting a lose tendril with her finger while she bit her lip and smiled at the boy alluringly. 

“Actually my fiancé is sitting there…” 

He clicked his tongue and scratched his head, looking down as strands of his hair fell across his face. 

“Ahh, I should have known you weren’t here alone,” he said, expertly running his fingers through his messy locks. “I’m sorry, I’ll just – “ 

“W-wait!” the woman continued. “W-well, he really shouldn’t have left me alone for this long so it’s his loss I guess… Please, take the chair. I insist.” 

Max stood there with her mouth agape, watching as the boy smiled at the woman bashfully, revealing a dimple in his right cheek. He thanked her profusely and picked the chair up, carrying it back to their table and sitting down with his hands folded behind his head. Max’s eyes darted from Kristine, to Nathan and finally to the boy, confused as she sat down and took her place at the table between them. 

Kristine laughed and held her hands out, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Jamie Prescott!”

He blew a kiss in her direction before winking at Max. 

Nathan groaned, “Max, this is my cousin, Jamie.”

“O-oh, you guys are cousins?”

“Yeah, uh that’s generally what it means when your fathers are brothers,” Nathan responded, rolling his eyes. 

“Don’t listen to grumpy cat Nathan here,” Jamie responded, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “I swear this kid has been waking up on the wrong side of the bed for like 18 years.”

Max giggled, nodding her head in agreement and holding her hand out. 

“It’s good to meet you!” she said jovially, as he shook her hand.

“It’s good to meet you too, Max! Never thought that Nathan would actually trick somebody into meeting his family! And here I thought it would be up to me to carry on the Prescott name.”

“Oh my god, do you ever shut up?” retorted Nathan, abashed as he hid his face behind his hands. 

Max laughed, “W-well you’re pretty charming. I bet you wouldn’t have too much trouble carrying on the Prescott name, you probably get all the girls.” 

“Oh girls are easy… It’s the boys who turn me into a stuttering, bashful young maiden.” 

“O-oh so you’re…?” 

“Gay?” laughed Jamie. “Blissfully! That’s why you’re stuck with the lesser Prescott, ‘cause if I were straight I’d totally – “ 

“Did you just use the word ‘bashful’ to describe yourself?” interjected Nathan. “That is most definitely not a word I’d use to describe you!”

Kristine cocked her head back and laughed melodically, “You have to give him ‘maiden’ though! It seems fitting… but maybe not in the virginal sense.” 

The three of them began exchanging quips and laughing, with Max watching the interaction with a smile of endearment as her nerves instantly evaporated. Given her past experiences with Nathan’s family, she never would have expected Sean Prescott to share DNA with two people as accommodating and light-hearted as Kristine and Jamie.

“So Max,” said Kristine suddenly. “I bet Nathan has never mentioned Jamie even once huh?” 

“Actually…no, he hasn’t,” Max replied, staring at Nathan quizzically. 

Jamie rolled his eyes and sighed, “Big shock…”

“These two used to be attached at the hip growing up,” Kristine continued, eyeing the two boys. 

“Yeah,” Nathan interrupted. “Until Jamie went completely MIA on me.”

“My dad thought you were a bad influence on me, Nate! And you know he and Uncle Sean don’t exactly get along.” 

“No surprise there…Alienating his family is Sean’s favourite past time,” Nathan said bitterly.

“Well don’t worry, Cousin. Now we get to spend a whole lot more time together!” 

“Oh god,” Nathan groaned. “I’m going to get so sick of you.” 

Max looked from Nathan to Jamie, confused. 

“Just ignore him, Max Factor,” Jamie said, waving a hand dismissively in Nathan’s direction. “He’s just cranky ‘cause Kristine asked me to keep an eye on him at Dresden. Keep him on the straight and narrow, ya know?” 

“Oh, you go to Dresden?” 

“Yep! Started as a feeble young freshman, and now I run that school. Don’t worry, I’ll show him what’s what!” 

“You better, James!” interrupted Kristine. “You know Nathan is very fragile and impressionable.”

“Oh he most certainly is, aren’t you Natey?” Jamie replied teasingly. “Hey, why don’t I show you around campus right now? I’ve got a free period, might as well be productive.” 

Max looked at Nathan and placed a hand on his. 

“Actually, that might be a good idea,” she told him. “Get to know your surroundings and all.” 

“Right,” he replied. “You want to come?”

“Actually, I’ve got something I need to do…” 

“What? What do you need to do?” 

“Oh come on, Nathan,” Kristine said, cutting Max off before she could reply. “Are you really so clingy that you can’t even leave the poor girl alone for an hour or two?” 

“I just wanted to see if she needed a ride!”

“I’ll drive her! It’s the only way I’ll get to talk about you behind your back,” Kristine said resolutely. “Keep him away from the assholes James, or I swear I’ll tell Uncle Martin - ” 

“How long are you going to hold that over my head, Kris?” Jamie pouted. “You know I got your back. I’ll keep this one out of trouble.” 

“Whatthefuckever…” grumbled Nathan. “Can we just fucking go already?”

“Uh yeah,” Jamie replied distractedly, his eyes focused towards the front of the restaurant. “But do you mind if we take the back exit? I think I matched with that waiter on Tinder and he’s a total clinger.”

* * *

Nathan gazed in awe at the sprawling brick building before him, standing tall behind an imposing wrought iron gate. He found himself instinctively rolling his eyes at its opulent façade, fashioned to resemble 19th century European architecture. 

 _How pretentious. This is Oregon, not fucking Switzerland_.

A feeling of unrest overcame him, causing the hairs on his arm to stand on end as he glared upon the school that would become his new stomping ground. He had managed to convey a sense calmness and assurance to anybody that broached the topic with him, but it was only to mask the paralysing anxiety that he felt at the prospect of starting somewhere new. Everything about Blackwell, from the people, the teachers and even the Vortex club, had become stale and mundane. For years he had gone to the same parties, been with the same people, took the same drugs and failed the same classes. But it had all been familiar to him, and that sense of normalcy kept him somewhat grounded.

When he had sought something different, with Jefferson and now Max, it affected him in ways that were beyond his control. The experiences were akin to an experimental drug and each time caused him to crumble emotionally underneath its effects. He despised Jefferson but went to great lengths just to gain his approval, lengths he never would have anticipated he would reach. He cared about Max but the situation was the same, he would try anything to keep her placated and content in their relationship but the constant fear of losing her had taken an emotional toll on him, making him calm one minute and unpredictable the next. As much as he cared about her, he needed a modicum of assurance that she wouldn’t abandon him like every other good thing in his life, but her reservations constantly replayed in his mind and triggered his insecurity. He didn’t know how many more ways he could assuage his emotions without resorting to drugs. 

It was like a pattern, each time he sought to diverge from his regular routine, he was confronted with thoughts and emotions that confirmed just how erratic he truly was. It was a side of himself that he feared the most, the side that he constantly battled with, and had no way of knowing how this new school would affect it. The thought of starting somewhere where his money could no longer provide him with a safety net terrified him. Everybody that attended Dresden was just as wealthy, if not wealthier, than Nathan’s family. Money had defined him at Blackwell, it attracted people like a moth to a flame, and it had bought him friendships. He didn’t care about not being liked, but Nathan feared the repercussions it could have on his behaviour and by extension, his relationship with Max.

These thoughts were once distant musings to him, but as he stood in front of the school, they had been brought to the forefront and defined his new reality. Intuitively, he reached into his pocket and pulled out another joint, placing it between his lips. As he primed himself to light it, Max’s disapproval echoed throughout his mind like a constant reminder of how he promised her he would change. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and crushed it in his palm, allowing it to drop to the ground as though it were nothing more than a discarded piece of scrap paper. 

“Yo, Nathan! Why’d you waste a perfectly good blunt!?” Jamie spoke beside him, his tone incredulous as he stared down at the crushed cigarette. 

“I’m uh, trying to get off that shit.” 

“Fair enough… but you could’ve just given it to me,” he said dejectedly. 

“You smoke, Jamie?” 

“Nope!” he said proudly. “Completely drug-free actually. Who needs that stuff when you’re this awesome all of the time! Plus, I like to maintain control of my facilities at all times thank you very much.” 

“Then why did you want it?” 

“We could have sold that shit! There’s been a bit of a drought since our resident dealer got himself expelled last semester. Now everyone has to rely on that bitch Jack and her connections… as if her ego wasn’t already big enough.” 

“Who?” Nathan asked quizzically.

“Oh she’s – Wait, oh my god!” said Jamie, trailing off and staring into the distance. “That’s my friend Allie! Nate can you sit tight for a sec? She literally just came back from spending the weekend at her boyfriend’s college and I think she got dumped! I have to find out what’s going on!”

Jamie took off before Nathan could respond, yelling and waving frantically at a girl jogging in the distance in a bid to get her attention. 

 _Fucking Jamie,_ Nathan thought to himself as he leant against a brick wall, trying to keep himself out of sight.

 _He’s still the same excitable little puppy I remember._

His fingers suddenly twitched, and he shook his hand to try and ease the spasms. They had become more frequent each time he grew anxious and harder to maintain now that he was trying to give up the drugs that previously numbed them. He could hear the sounds of chatter on the other side of the wall, becoming louder in decibel as they drew closer to him. Still uncomfortable with the prospect of meeting any body new today, he sidled away from the main entrance, trying to look inconspicuous as he covered his face with his bangs.

“Ow! Watch where you’re going you spaz!” said a girl behind him as he felt his back collide into her.

“Fuck, sorry,” he replied turning around, instinctively jumping backwards to put some distance between them. Her eyes were transfixed on his, deep green and infused with playful specs of gold. The girl’s hair was long and cascaded over her thin frame like a shiny black cloak as she sized him up with her deep red lips pursed, trying to accentuate her miffed expression. She was tall and lithe, exuding the grace of a ballerina that was only contradicted by the tight black tank top and tattered boyfriend jeans that she wore. In another time, Nathan would have smiled and tried to disarm her hostility with playful banter and flirtatious undertones – he certainly found her attractive enough. But seeing the light spatter of freckles on her shoulder only reminded him of Max, and how much he wished she were there to soothe him. 

“Hold on a second,” the girl spoke, her accent laced with a strange intonation that Nathan couldn’t quite attribute to a particular country. “You look like Jamie, Jamie Prescott. Are you two related?”

“He’s my cousin,” he replied, still trying to discern her accent. “How do you know him?” 

“We both go to this shit hole,” she replied, nodding her head at the stately building he had been staring at just moments before. “I’m dating his best friend, Troy Sommers.”

“Never heard of him,” he replied, shrugging.

“No surprise there, he’s a bit dull.”

“What the fuck…. Why are you dating him then?” 

She smirked, “Because he’s hot, and he gives me the ‘validation’ and ‘companionship’ that I so desperately crave. According to my therapist at least, she thinks I’m a narcissist.”

“Maybe you are,” he answered casually. “I mean, you just told me all of this crap and you don’t even know me. I’m assuming you expect some sort of reaction, right?” 

“And how would you know that?” she laughed. “Like you said, we don’t know each other.” 

“Lets just say that this isn’t my first rodeo. I know all of the clichés and tropes therapists will throw at you.”

“Oooh, a fellow sociopath huh?” 

Nathan shrugged, uncomfortable at the way she was dressing him down. 

“Wait, I know who you are,” she continued. “You’re Nathan Prescott.” 

“And how would you know that?” 

“Everybody in this shitty little town knows who you are - who your family is.” she said, smirking. “If anybody in your family so much as farts, you can guarantee it will be all over the news here because, god forbid, they actually report on something meaningful like – poverty or… China. But I guess this time it was warranted though… you did do some pretty fucked up shit.”

“What’s your fucking point?” Nathan asked, agitated. “You don’t even know me.”

“It’s not nice to be judged by a stranger, is it? I don’t have a point - I’m just stating a fact.” 

“I don’t need you to punish me, okay? I cop enough shit from people that I actually care about. Your opinion means fuck all to me.” 

“What’s with all the hostility, Nathan?” she laughed. “I’m not trying to punish you. I actually find it rather… fascinating.” 

He shook his head. 

“Then maybe you’re more fucked up than I am.”

“No arguments there,” she teased.

The air surrounding them became impregnated with an eerie silence; causing Nathan to feel more and more uncomfortable the longer he stood there. The sound of her phone buzzing ripped through the quiet, startling them both. Nathan expected her to continue on her way after she fished her cell out of her pocket, but she remained firmly in place, nonchalantly answering her texts as though he wasn’t standing in front of her. Strands of her dark hair began to fall and obscure her face as she peered down at her phone. He stood there awkwardly and watched, unsure of whether or not he should just bid her a farewell and bail.

“So uh, where is that accent from?” he asked suddenly, making no attempt to walk away. She ignored him as she continued to thumb at her phone before finally looking up to acknowledge him. 

“Hmm?” she addressed him dispassionately, as though there prior exchange was nothing more than mindless tedium.

“Your accent,” he repeated. “What is it? Where is it from?”

“Australia,” she answered, looking fixedly at his direction. “And if the next words out of your mouth are to tell me to ‘throw another shrimp on the barbie’, I will hang you with your own entrails, Prescott or not.”

His mouth hung open as he stared at her dumbfounded, his brain unable to completely comprehend the graphic threat she had just spat at him. He allowed it to simmer in his mind before his shoulders started to shake and he threw his head back in laughter, strangely amused by her bluntness and peculiarity.

“You are so fucking weird,” he chuckled. “Who are you anyway?”

“Jack Westlake, short for Jacqueline – but don’t ever call me that.”

“Noted,” Nathan replied, feeling strangely at ease as he held her mysterious gaze.

* * *

“Is this it?”

Max veered her head around to see the American flag outside of Chloe’s house waving lazily in the wind. Her anxiety shot through the roof as her eyes travelled to Chloe’s window, her earlier resolve slowly starting to wane as she came to terms with what she was about to do. 

“Y-yeah, this is it. Thanks so much for driving me, I’m sorry you got stuck doing that.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Freckles, I’m happy to do it,” Kristine replied. “Just do me a favour and please do not tell Nathan I told you that story of him and the pelican. If you two are ever around one, and he flinches when it flaps its wings, please just act surprised or something okay?”

Max shook with laughter, feeling her nerves slowly start to ebb. 

“Deal! Thanks so much again, for…you know, everything.”

“I should be saying that to you actually,” she responded, staring ahead absentmindedly. “Actually Max, umm if you ever need anything or if anything comes up, I want you to let me know okay? I’ll give you my email. I barely get reception out there so my cell is next to useless. Feel free to hit me up whenever you want.” 

She scribbled her address on the back of a scrap business card she had found in her bag and handed it to Max with a smile.

“Thanks, my email is Noir – uh, never mind. I’ll shoot you an email now so you have my address too,” Max told her, whipping out her phone and typing a short email.

**Hi, it’s Max - Now you have my email too ^_^**

She clicked send and put her phone back into her pocket, looking up at Kristine to say her final goodbye. 

“It was so great meeting you. I-I hope we can hang out again soon.” 

“Me too, Kid!” she replied, pulling Max in for a hug. “You better still be around the next time I come into town!”

Max looked on with a smile as Kristine drove off, disappearing into the distance. She felt a sense longing inside of her, wishing that she had more time to spend with her. She could see why Nathan was so attached to his sister, her demeanour was so infectious that she had managed to bring even Max out of the shy cocoon that she clung to so tightly. She turned to face Chloe’s house, the feeling of dread seeping back into her subconscious. A sharp intake of breath escaped between her lips before she hesitantly ascended the stairs leading to the front door, her legs feeling as heavy as lead as she carried them up each step.

She raised her hand to knock but halted when she felt her phone buzz inside of her pocket. Thinking that Warren had finally gotten back to her, she excitedly pulled it out to check, but was disappointed to see that it was only an email notification.

“Probably more spam,” she grumbled to herself quietly, clicking on the envelope icon. 

**Tnx - Good luck with everything, Noir Angel ; >  **

**K xo**  

Max felt a familiar heat rise to her face as her cheeks flushed pink. She laughed nervously to herself at her embarrassing screen name before pocketing her phone, and knocking on the door. As she waited for somebody to answer, she clutched one of her hands with the other and started twisting her body, one of the few nervous ticks she had developed as a young child. She held her breath as she heard footsteps approach the door but softly exhaled in relief when she was welcomed by Joyce’s friendly face. 

“Hey Max! Gosh, it’s been a while huh kid? I think I’ve missed you almost as much as Chloe has!” said Joyce, opening the door wide and gesturing Max to step inside. 

“I’ve missed you too, Joyce!” she replied, accepting a hug from the older woman as she entered the house.

“You sure you don’t just miss my cooking?” 

Max giggled, “As amazing as your cooking is Joyce, I think its safe to say that I definitely miss you more than your short stacks.”

“Alright sweetie, I believe you! You go on now, Chloe is upstairs doing…God knows what... But I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you!”

Max thanked Joyce and began her trudge up the staircase. This time, her legs and shoulders felt equally as cumbersome as she drew closer and closer to Chloe’s door.

The faint sounds of electric guitars emanated from behind the door and she stopped to catch herself just before knocked. Small beads of sweat started to form in the corners of her temples as she waited for Chloe to answer, her anxiety curling into a fist in the pit of her stomach with each second she stood there. 

“Mom!” she heard a voice holler from the other side of the door. “For the umpteenth time, I am not fucking hungry!” 

“No Chloe, its Max! Let me in!” 

She heard footsteps as Chloe leapt to the door and swung it open, pulling Max into a bear hug before gesturing her to come inside and slamming the door behind her. Chloe beamed at Max as she moved back to sit on her bed, picking up the blunt that she had resting on the rim of the ashtray on top of her mattress. 

“Holy fuck Max, where have you been girl?” Chloe asked, bringing the cigarette to her lips and taking a puff.

“I know… I’ve been so all over the place lately, Chloe.”

The blue haired girl shrugged nonchalantly, “I just figured you were stuck in some sex haze with a certain cute science geek. Sooo I figured I’d give you a pass, we’re all just horny teenagers at the end of the day.” 

Max’s heart started to beat more rapidly in her chest, thrusting itself powerfully back and forth against her ribcage. She would definitely not give her a pass when she knew whom it was really with and Max began to second-guess her decision to divulge her relationship with Nathan to Chloe. Just being inside of her room made Max feel an overpowering nostalgia and contentment that she had always remembered fondly. Recalling the hours they spent inside of this room just basking in the comfort of each other’s company had been one of Max’s favourite pastimes.

Nathan had helped her be true to herself and release her inhibitions. He encouraged a side of her that was strong and fearless, but it had been Chloe who had been the first to pull her out of her shell. She had come to Blackwell thinking that she would break free from her socially inept chains and start anew at her new school with a fresh, confident persona. But Max had only really accomplished that after her and Chloe had initiated contact again. She let the first few months of her time at Blackwell pass by while she was stuck in a rut that she only knew was there when Chloe forced her way in and pulled her out of it. Everything inside of her hoped that she was just overreacting, that telling Chloe about Nathan would be no big deal. 

But Max knew that train of thought was nothing more than a pipe dream, and one way or another, she would walk out of this room losing either the girl that she loved or the boy that she was in love with. She wasn’t ready to lose either but she just could not give up the latter, despite how objectively wrong she knew her decision was. Nathan devastated her, but nobody had ever made her feel the way that he did. Max looked up at Chloe, in mid-rant about the bad stash of marijuana her and Justin had been tripping out to just a few days ago. The sunlight reflected from her face as she spoke, highlighting her soft features that were often undercut by her heavy black clothing and striking blue hair.

“C-Chloe, I… I need to tell you something.” 

“What’s with the face, Max? Your freckles are all in a tizzy,” said Chloe, stepping in closer and examining her face. She tried making eye contact but Max successfully evaded each attempt. 

“Woah, okay,” she continued. “Something is up, tell me everything.”

Max watched her crush the cigarette against the base of the ashtray, feeling slightly akin to it as its body crumbled underneath the pressure of Chloe’s fingers, the last puff of smoke that it had to offer dissipated into the air as its fire finally subsided. Chloe rubbed her hands together and crossed her legs, looking at Max expectantly as she waited for an explanation. 

“Chloe, you’re my best friend and I don’t want to lie to you anymore… I’ve been seeing Nathan Prescott.” 

The understanding in Chloe’s face all but vanished when it instantly morphed to express her fury. She shot up wordlessly, bunching her fists into a ball as she stomped around the room. Soon, she stopped and yanked the beanie from her head, throwing it furiously at the wall. Max was startled, initially expecting Chloe to burst into a fit of expletives instead resorting to more physical expressions of anger. 

“Fuck, Chloe I’m –“ 

“Don’t say it, Max. Don’t you dare fucking say it!” Chloe yelled, cutting her off. “Apologies mean fuck all when your best friend starts dating the guy who nearly killed you! I should have fucking known it that day you came over and started making excuses for him.” 

“We weren’t exactly together then…” 

“It doesn’t fucking matter!” 

“I know how terrible it sounds Chloe, but he’s really trying to be different. He has been with me at least…” Max pleaded, following Chloe around the room in a desperate bid to calm her. 

“And now you’re tyring to rationalise it… He is a fucking monster, Max! He kills people, he drugs people and you are a mother fucking idiot if you think that he is even capable of change.” 

Max sat down on the edge of Chloe’s bed, emotionally spent and defeated. She knew that this was how Chloe would react, but it was one thing to imagine it and another thing to experience it firsthand. 

“I don’t know what else to say…” she said quietly, looking down at her scuffed sneakers. “I still want to be your friend. You mean so much to me, Chloe. I’m not asking you to forgive him, if anyone shouldn’t, its you. But I am asking you to please not let this come between us. Your friendship means everything to me.”

“Bullshit!" 

“No! It’s true!” 

“Then end it with him,” Chloe said quietly. 

“I-I can’t, Chloe. That’s why I’m telling you. I wouldn’t upset you with this if it were that easy…” 

Chloe took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair.

“Then get out, Max.” 

“Chloe, please – “ 

“Get out!” 

Max sighed and picked herself up from the bed, unable to even spare a glance at her best friend as she made her way dejectedly towards the door. She clasped the doorknob as she let her eyes wander around Chloe’s room for the final time before it closed behind her, the harsh sound emanating from the latch as it clicked replaying like a maddening tune in her ear. As she descended the stairs, she saw Joyce’s figure leaning against the wall opposite the staircase, peering at Max with a look of concern. 

“Honey, what is going on?” 

“I-I… Chloe and I got into a big fight. It’s all my fault Joyce….” 

The older woman wrapped her arm around Max’s shoulder as she descended the last step, engulfing her in a reassuring warmth that made Max think of her parents.

“Honey, whatever it is, I’m sure you and Chloe can get passed this.” 

“No, this is different Joyce. I’ve… I’ve really messed up this time. I started seeing Nathan Prescott and – “ 

“Wait – honey, what did you say?” Joyce asked. “You mean the boy who...” 

“Yes,” Max responded in a hushed voice. 

Joyce closed her eyes and sighed as she brought her hand up to rub her forehead in exasperation. Max stood there, unable to stomach seeing Joyce look so distressed. She wrestled herself out of Joyce’s grip and made a beeline for the door. She opened it, welcoming the sting of the crisp air against her face. She started quickly down the steps that lead up to the door, hearing Joyce move frantically behind her as she called Max’s name. Max gulped, and stopped in her place, refusing to face Joyce. She just wanted to go home but couldn’t bear to put Joyce through any more trouble by not at least hearing what she had to say. 

The woman rounded Max to stand in front of her, gripping her shoulders before enveloping Max into another warm embrace.

“I’m sorry I acted that way, Max. You just caught me by surprise,” she whispered into Max’s ear as she patted her back. 

She pulled away but Max couldn’t respond, her arms were stiffly glued to her sides as she looked down at the pavement.

“I know you’re hurting right now, but my concern is not about you and Chloe getting passed this. The two of you are too close to let something like this ruin your friendship.” 

Joyce paused, awaiting a response from Max, but was only met with silence as the girl willed herself not to cry. 

“Max,” Joyce sighed. “I’m not telling you this because I’m upset with you, but…I think you’re making a mistake. You can’t fix everything so… just don’t get stuck trying to.” 

Joyce’s last words echoed amidst breeze as it lapped harshly against Max’s frigid stance. The woman gave her arm one last reassuring squeeze before she made her way back up to the house, leaving Max alone on the sidewalk. She was free to move forward but her feet were planted firmly in place. The silence around her was almost deafening, accentuating the feelings of desolation and detachment that hung over her head like a single cloud. Minutes had passed before she put one foot in front of the other started moving, urging herself to keep her attentions focused on the path ahead as the house and everybody inside of it disappeared behind her with the distance.


	10. Car Radio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for all of your feedback! I'll never get tired of expressing how grateful I am :) <3
> 
> The song for this chapter is by Twenty One Pilots.

 

_“Sometimes quiet is violent, I find it hard to hide it. My pride is no longer inside, it’s on my sleeve, my skin will scream reminding me of who I killed inside my dream. I hate this car that I’m driving, there’s no hiding for me. I’m forced to deal with what I feel there is no distraction to mask what is real.”_

The blare of the car radio resounded raucously around him, a harsh disturbance to the naturally tranquil sounds of an Arcadia Bay night. With a flick of his wrist, the key rotated in the ignition and the sedate quality of the atmosphere returned. Nathan eased into his seat and closed his eyes, savouring the coo of an owl in the distance as it gingerly grazed against his eardrums. It was nothing in comparison to the rhythmic timbre of whales as they sang in the depths of the ocean, but the sounds still worked to alleviate his anxiety. For a moment, Nathan was able to enjoy a quiet reprieve from the turbulence bubbling in his mind, but as with all the other times, the reprieve proved to be nothing more than fleeting and transient.

Nathan sighed and opened his eyes to register his surroundings, taking in the redbrick building that he had become so well acquainted with as the school where he had ushered in his adolescence. His eyes travelled to the copper statue of Jeremiah Blackwell, standing tall and imposingly like a watchful eye over Blackwell’s expansive courtyard. Nathan despised that statue, he recalled the many times he wished that he could knock it down and see it crush on impact into a million pieces. He devised many a plan to action his wishes, but was always deterred by the fact that if he couldn’t even manage to steal Tobanga, how could he possibly tear down a statue twice its size?

In reality, it wasn’t so much the statue that he hated, it was the placard that it bore at its base. It’s words read:

_The future needs excellence_

The words were embossed into metal and accentuated with gold lettering as though it were the universe’s most absolute and final decree. Nathan despised it because it was pompous, ignorant and did not account for the rigors of trying to adhere to the accepted definition of ‘excellence’ under conventional social constructs. Moreover, the words intimidated him, he knew that despite his best efforts, he could never acquiesce to that standard. If the future needed excellence, would that entail that those who did not have or strive for excellence would be left behind? Discarded as though their place in life was no longer relevant, as though they did not deserve to move forward with everybody else? These thoughts only ignited his insecurities and magnified the reasons that lead him to sitting in his car outside of Blackwell Academy in the middle of the night.

It had been roughly a week since he had last spoken to or seen Max, the last time being the day that she helped him get set up in his new dormitory. She had assisted him in transporting his belongings to and from her room to his, but offered him nothing beyond this. His attempts to make conversation were met with either half-hearted responses or stony silences, and his insecurities were only compounded when she failed to respond to the one text message he had sent her days later. Nathan chalked it up to her needing space. The two had been living on top of each other for a week prior to his move, and despite all accusations of him being unreasonable and selfish, he understood if she felt suffocated. He deduced that she would come back to him when she was ready, but as the days passed without even so much as a word, his disappointment only continued to flourish.

But it hadn’t been just the petty problems of his relationship that irked Nathan. Upon starting at his new school, he realised that nobody but Jamie knew him as anything more than a miscreant who had roofied half of the female students at Blackwell. This was his only claim to fame at Dresden, and it perturbed him. Everywhere he went, the watchful eyes of the student body trailed him. They were curious about him, but kept him at arms length – afraid that if they even spoke to him, they would fall a victim to his crimes too. He was sick of being watched, sick of being talked about and sick of having to whether the storm alone.

Being alone meant that his mind worked on overdrive. Fixation had never worked well in his favour, compelling him to entertain thoughts that he would otherwise prefer to keep at the back of his mind. It wouldn’t be so troubling if he were a creature of inaction, but if the last few years had taught Nathan anything about himself, it was that he was more than capable of making even his darkest thoughts a reality. He began to reminisce about the calming effect that various drugs had had on him in the past, trying to reason with himself that maybe it was the best thing for everyone if he were using again, as a way to placate his thoughts and silence his demons.

_I’m happier when I’m high, how could that possibly be a bad thing?_

Thoughts of gruesome ways he could end the curiosity and whispers of his fellow Dresden students also began to seep into his subconscious. They thought that piecing together a few articles from the gossip rags of Arcadia Bay made them an expert on all things Nathan Prescott. They had each formulated their own hypotheses on his character and what had drove him to do what he did, trading theories as idly as they would trade baseball cards. He hated it when strangers were so quick to unceremoniously castigate him with no rhyme or reason. He couldn’t fault them, but this did not minimize his disdain for it.

_Their analysis is flawed. They don’t know a goddamn thing about me. But if that’s what they think, maybe I should give them what they want._

He needed her. More than he ever had before. He was coming apart at the seams and needed a touch of normalcy to pull him out of his own mind. She needed space, but he needed proximity. So here he sat, in his car outside of Blackwell Academy, waiting to work up the nerve to knock on her door and finally satiate his needs. The rules of accepted social dictums deemed that a simple text or call would be more appropriate, but Nathan was beyond caring about acquiescing to such trivial ideals. As always, he became a slave to his emotions, which dictated that he pursue the most extreme course of action to take what he wanted. He often toyed with the idea of Max being his new drug, but as he sat there in the dark, each second magnifying his lunacy, the theory became more of a reality. He had traded one crutch with another and while he knew this would not fare well, he was way beyond caring.

_Fuck her ‘space’._

His fingers wrapped around the door handle as he primed himself to finally make his delusions a reality. A sudden knock to his window sent waves of shock through his hunched figure, starling him as he let go of the handle and reared his head around slowly to see who it was. He turned to see Jack’s face smirking at him from behind the glass. Frustrated, Nathan slammed his fist into the dashboard before opening the door, watching as she hoisted herself into his car and took a seat beside him.

“What in fuck’s name are you doing? You scared the shit out of me!” he cursed, rubbing his forehead in exasperation.

“What am I doing? I think the more pertinent question is, what are you doing? ‘Cause you look like a serial killer on the prowl.”

“Did you follow me?”

“Honestly?” she responded. “Yes, I did.”

“Why the fu-“

“I saw your car leaving school just as I was sneaking back in. So I wanted to see if you were doing something cooler than sitting outside of your old school in the dark like some freak. What are you doing here anyway?”

“None of your business.”

“Come on!” she coerced, nudging him. “Tell me! Or I’ll run in there right now and tell security that you are loitering around.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You think I won’t do it?”

“Come on, are you seriously threatening me?” he asked.

“Yep! It’s more fun that way, no?”

Despite his initial hostility, he found himself amused yet again at her brusqueness.

“Fine,” he groaned. “I uh, this girl I’m seeing is… I don’t fucking know anymore.”

“Oooh, so this is girl related? Ugh, how pedestrian. You disappoint me, I never would have expected Nathan Prescott to be out here mulling over girl trouble.”

“Fuck off then!” he retorted, getting more and more agitated by her nonchalance.

“Maybe I will,” she said thoughtfully. “Unless you plan on drugging her in the next five minutes, I know this is going to bore me.”

Nathan peered at her, aghast at the words slipping from her tongue. He had never encountered somebody who was so flippant about his past, leaving him consistently unsure of how to gauge her true personality or motives. She talked about his mistakes as though they were mere traffic demeanours, even going so far as to openly indicate that they were amusing to her. Jack unsettled him, it was the same feeling he derived from recounting his experiences with Jefferson. He couldn’t tell if this was all an act, or if she really was a sociopath. Being around her unnerved him, but by the same token, she did not approach him with the same measured caution that everybody else did, and it evoked a sense of acceptance within him. He knew that his transgressions had deemed him to a life of everybody he treating him with kid gloves, but Jack had been different, and by some twisted sense of logic, he found himself bound to her through a sense of camaraderie.

“That is such a fucked up thing to say…” was all he could manage as he sat there, still dumbfounded.

“Haven’t we already established that I am fucked up?” she cooed. “But at least I’m only saying these things and not doing them… you’re one step ahead of me in that respect.”

He sighed and leant his head forward, resting it against the steering wheel in a show of defeat.

“Wait,” he spoke suddenly, his head shooting up. “How did you even get here? You couldn’t have followed me on foot while I was driving.”

She giggled, “No fucking shit Sherlock. My car is parked right behind yours, but you were probably too busy pining for this mystery girl to notice.”

Nathan gazed into the rear view mirror, seeing a shiny black Mercedes Benz G-Class parked behind him.

“God,” he snickered. “Could you be anymore of a fucking cliché?”

“No, but could you? Poor little rich – “

“Don’t say it…”

“…boy,” she finished, her lips curving into a triumphant smile.

Their chests began to heave with muffled laughter, the soft jovial sounds echoing inside of the capacious vehicle. Jack's affability caused Nathan's earlier agitations to dull as they settled into a comfortable silence, each with their attentions focused on the darkness in front of them.

“So,” Jack said suddenly. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, it might make you feel better. But before you do…”

She held her index finger up to his face, signalling him to wait before he spoke. She reached into her shirt, pulling a small opaque vial from her bra. She unscrewed the cap and dipped a key inside, catching a small ounce of white powder on its jagged tip. She held it up to her nose, covering her left nostril before inhaling it through her right one, tilting her head backwards to ensure that not one particle of the narcotic had been wasted. All Nathan could do was watch in awe, unsure if he was mesmerised by the sudden appearance of the substance that once dictated his every action, or the all too familiar ritual of ingesting it. His underlying appetite for the drug erupted inside of him, sending waves of urgency through his veins. His eyes operated as a separate entity to his will, focusing intently on the white powder and feeding his impulse to reach out and grab the vial greedily from Jack's long fingers.

Nathan felt his skin begin to prickle, causing his arm to involuntarily jolt at the unfamiliar sensation and the car to jerk violently along with him. Jack's eyes opened in shock, trying to find the source of disturbance to her euphoria. She cocked an eyebrow at his direction, surprised by the extreme shift in his countenance as he cowered in his seat beside her.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, holding the vial a few inches away from his haggard face. “Do you want a bump? You fucking look like you could use one.”

Being in close proximity to the drug caused the car to feel like a pressure cooker. His lungs burned for fresh air, any air that wasn't corrupted by the lure of submission and inevitable defeat. His hands were clammy as they grasped the door for the second time that night, the only difference being that Nathan was actually able to successfully extricate himself from the SUV this time.

“Get that shit away from me,” he managed through gritted teeth, collapsing on to the curb parallel to his car.

Jack shrugged, withdrawing the vial and tucking it safely back within the confines of her brassiere.

“Fine, suit yourself," she replied, opening the passenger door and following Nathan outside. He felt the warmth radiating from her body as she took her seat beside him on the curb, the slight friction from their shoulders grazing against each other sending a small wave of calm through his disposition. With the drugs out of sight, he felt his body begin to pacify, but he couldn’t prevent his eyes from constantly travelling to the thin layer of fabric that separated him from sedation. He desperately needed a distraction.

Sensing his trepidation, Jack decided to speak first.

“Okay,” she continued. "Tell me what happened with this girl. _'Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'_ "

His head snapped up in surprise, those words kindling an overpowering sense of déjà vu within him.

“Wait…What?"

“It’s the bible, Matthew 11:28.”

He wracked every crevice of his brain, trying to determine why the words felt so familiar to him. And then, like a bolt of lightning the memory suddenly came to him. A cold shiver danced up his spine as images of Kate's limp body being dragged across the bleak, grey floor of the Darkroom were injected into his brain. His recollections flooded his consciousness in rapid succession, transporting him directly into the memory.

_His fingers wrapped around her frail ankle as he expended little effort in hauling her body past the grotesque painting of a woman prying her throat open with her own hands as her innards seeped out from the opening. Kate's body and senses were entirely dormant, save for the faint murmurs escaping from her lips and peppering the desolate atmosphere. Nathan couldn't construe the words without lowering himself to the ground where she lay. His knees strained as he leant down and hovered directly above her, her unfocused eyes looking beyond his figure as the slight movements of her mouth became more discernible._

_“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest,” she repeated continuously, in a voice so faint that it was almost nonexistent._

He wished he hadn’t heard that. If he remained ignorant to her inane ramblings, he would have saved himself the trauma of sitting down in the gutter and feeling utterly helpless. He buried his face in his hands, the tears he tried to dispel trickling in between the gaps of his fingers.

"Wow..." He heard Jack say beside him. "You are so fucked up."

Summoning what little strength he had, he began to collect himself. Hating that he had allowed himself to be so vulnerable in front of somebody that preyed on his troubles for her own amusement.

“Fuck off, Jack," he replied aggressively. "I can’t deal with your 'too cool for school' bullshit right now…”

“No way!” she exclaimed. “I’m not leaving now that you’ve peaked my interest again. Should have known you’d deliver.”

“I’m so sick of this shit…everyone looks at me like I'm some fucking rabid animal just biding my time until somebody unlocks the cage. I fucking get it, but I don't have to like it."

He looked down, staring intently at a smattering of pebbles scattered next to his shoe. He kicked them, watching as they dispersed and fell down into the nearby storm drain, the jangle of them colliding against the cast iron resounded amidst the quiet. Jack remained silent, exhibiting no indication of disrupting his diatribe.

“I can’t…” he continued. “I’m always tired but I can never sleep. I can’t even make myself forget because I’m trying to change for somebody who won’t even fucking speak to me…Something has to give before I do.”

“Something can...” Jack whispered finally, shuffling beside him. He felt her fingers clasp his as she brought his hand down and outstretched it in front of her. He twitched when she laid the small vial in his palm, the glass feeling cold and fragile against his skin. Slowly, she began to close of each his fingers around the tube, one by one.

“But only if you let it," she finished. His willpower eroding like a glacier upon contact with a violent gush of water.

* * *

“ _Oh my God, do you see his eyes? Totally getting American Psycho vibes.”_

_“He’s more quiet than I thought he would be…”_

_“He’s actually pretty hot, in a murdery kind of way.”_

_“Do you think he can get us some good shit for Saturday?”_

_“Fucking freak…”_

They were stupid and naïve to think that he couldn’t hear them as he walked down the halls silently, trying not to give them the satisfaction of knowing that every slur had garnered his full attention. With great effort, he tried not to retaliate. They would be sorry if he did and he couldn’t afford to be the target of any more animosity. He thought he had moved passed those predilections, but if this week had taught him anything, it was that he hadn’t progressed as far as he anticipated. The more he tried, the more failure seemed to become an inevitable prospect.

Try as he might, he couldn’t prevent his mind from wandering back to the untouched vial nestled in between two of his neatly folded sweaters back at his dorm. It was calling to him, waiting for him to succumb, and he would be lying if he said that the thought hadn’t occurred to him on more than one occasion. He should have flushed its contents down the toilet, along with any chance of him relapsing, but something inside of him remained anchored to it.

Down the long stretch of hallway, he spotted the door to the restroom. He needed an immediate solace from the whispers and stares, so he carried his hunched frame towards it, moving as fast as his legs could carry him. He burst through the doors, relieved to find that he had the space all to himself as he aimlessly weaved in and out of each cubicle. The scene felt eerily similar to his confrontation with the blue haired punk. He kept his eyes glued to the floor, half expecting to find another photograph of a blue butterfly that could ease his tensions, only to find that the floor was bereft of everything but grime and footprints. There was no gun weighing down his jacket pocket and colliding with his hip while he walked, making him feel powerful and in control. He thought that going to a new school could at least help him forget, but ironically, his memories were being triggered here more often than they were at Blackwell.

At Blackwell, he had multiple sources of distraction to keep his mind occupied. His Vortex Club cronies constantly bombarded him with a plethora of trivialities from undesired attendees to their parties to undesired hook-ups at their parties. Victoria never failed to make him laugh with her dark sense of humour and Hayden was always somebody he could count on to be there when he just wanted to get high or play video games. Solitude had always been optional for Nathan at Blackwell, but at Dresden Hall, it was his only choice. He was forced to spend more time alone with his musings than he cared to. Jamie always tried to include him in the social scene, but despite his cousin’s best efforts, he couldn’t mask the discomfort plastered on his friends’ faces when Nathan was around.

He pulled out his phone, feeling moisture start to materialise in his palms when he opened his text conversation with Max.

 **Nathan** : Hey… what’s up?

_No that’s fucking dumb._

**Nathan** : Its been a while..

_Ugh, fuck this._

He erased the words before he pulled his arm back, ready to launch his phone into a nearby wall in frustration. Before he could total his cell, the door to the restroom flew open in a loud crash behind him. Jamie walked in sporting his standard relaxed grin and black Doc Martens. He leapt towards Nathan and enveloped him in an enthusiastic glomp that caused them both to nearly collide face-first into a nearby wall. Annoyed, Nathan pushed his cousin away and ran a hand through his hair, his mental fortitude may have been in complete disarray but his hair didn’t need to be. 

“I figured you’d be in here!” proclaimed Jamie proudly. He glanced at a nearby mirror and adjusted his nose ring before turning and winking at Nathan. “You are still the same grumpy little boy who hides whenever he feels uncomfortable.”

“I’m really not in the mood right now, Jamie…” Nathan responded emphatically.

“Oh pish posh! Come and have lunch with Troy and I! Jack finally released him from her evil clutches, so you can finally meet him!”

Nathan cocked an eyebrow at his cousin, “I don’t get it. What is your beef with Jack? She seems alright, if a little…weird.” 

“Wait… you’ve spoken to her?”

“A few times now, actually.” 

Jamie’s eyes clenched shut and he began to shake his head irritably. Nathan had never seen him quite so perturbed. He had always been so happy-go-lucky that he constantly left Nathan surprised at the fact that he hadn’t yet been appointed by the United Nations to be a goodwill ambassador. People gravitated toward him naturally and without prompt, and Nathan had always envied how easy it was for him to accrue friends without the use of his money or status. Jamie saw the good in everybody, and it bewildered Nathan that he held such a deep disdain for Jack. 

Jack was peculiar and dark, but still managed to garner the worship and attention of everybody at the school. She had a particular way of masking her perversions and bluntness with a smile that managed to disarm everybody around her, and it also didn’t hurt that she looked the way that she did. If anything, Nathan would have thought that she and Jamie were good friends, particularly given the fact that she was his best friend’s girlfriend.

“Don’t believe the fucking hype with that chick,” Jamie responded grimly. “She has everybody around her fooled, so they feed her the attention that she craves. It’s all fucking bullshit and I’m the only one who sees right through her.”

“Wow, she must have really pissed you off…”

“That’s a fucking understatement. But honestly, Nathan, Kristine told me to keep you away from trouble and Jack, is exactly that. Trust me, nothing good can come out of hanging around her so please, just try and stay away.” 

Nathan shrugged, he couldn’t deny the sincerity in Jamie’s face but he also knew that his cousin had a penchant for hyperbole. Jamie forgot that Nathan had already dealt with the likes of Mark Jefferson, and was already in a constant state of conflict with his own malevolence. Jack, a bored teenage girl with a proclivity for trouble, seemed trivial by comparison. 

“Okay fine. I’ll stay away, as long as you promise to stop pouncing on me out of nowhere. My posture is already fucked enough as it is.” 

The smile on Jamie’s face returned, “Oh, Nathaniel… I can’t make promises we both know I can’t keep.” 

He grabbed Nathan’s arm, yanking him out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Everyone they passed waved at Jamie but awkwardly averted their eyes soon after catching sight of Nathan trudging by his side. He rolled his eyes and grunted as he unwillingly allowed himself to be dragged along by Jamie through the double-doors leading outside. The voluminous courtyard bustled with activity as an array of Dresden students milled around them, talking and laughing amongst their respective groups. It appeared almost identical to the scene at Blackwell, save for the capacious courtyard being twice the size. They walked down a cobblestone path that lead them to an expanse of immaculate greenery surrounded by large oak trees and housed in by the school’s majestic brick buildings. If it weren’t for the overabundance of cell phones and tablets, it would have looked like a scene captured in a neoclassical landscape painting.

Jamie pulled him towards a boy sitting on one of the benches and tables unevenly splayed atop the lawn’s surface. His arms and shoulders were firm and broad, almost twice the size of Nathan’s gaunt frame. His hair was pushed back from his sculptured face, bearing a sheen akin to dark mahogany. It wasn’t hard to deduce how he could garner the attentions of a girl like Jack. He was the type of guy that Victoria would have been all over, bearing a strong resemblance to Blackwell’s own, Zachary Riggins.

“There he is!” shouted Jamie, finally releasing his grip on Nathan’s arm and flinging himself towards the boy. In response, the boy grinned and bumped his fist against Jamie’s before pulling him in for a hug and affectionately patting his back. 

“What’s up, Jay! So guess what, the team versed Lakeside last Friday and their defender apparently came out like a month ago. He is totally keen to meet you. Want me to broker that?” 

“Bitch, please,” said Jamie dismissively. “When have I ever needed your help to score. But, no seriously… out of 10?” 

“Solid 8,” he winked in reply. 

“Hmm, I’ll consider it. So where is thisgirlfriend of yours? I’m surprised she let you out of her grasp.”

“Eh, her Mom scheduled a lunchtime therapy session for her. I think they got into a fight yesterday.”

“Is that so?” Jamie asked with mock curiosity. “Because I could have sworn I saw her getting into Dani Nakajima’s convertible with Steph Chapin, giggling like she was fucking high as a kite.” 

“Cool it, Jamie,” warned the boy. “That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about and I trust her.” 

Jamie clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes as Nathan began to squirm in his spot. The dynamic between the two friends had gone from cheerful to dour in a matter of seconds, and he was starting to feel uncomfortable. He cleared his throat awkwardly, hoping that Jamie could comprehend his inference and introduce him already, so he didn’t have to stand there like a mute. 

“Ahh, right,” said Jamie, finally acknowledging Nathan’s presence. “Troy, this is my cousin Nathan. Nate, this is Troy Sommers, one of my closest friends.”

Troy averted his focus to Nathan, any trace of brightness that had been left on his face from his interaction with Jamie immediately vanishing. He eyed Nathan with a strange look of hostility and disdain, as though he were trying to provoke some sort of reaction from him.

“I know who he is,” Troy spat, his tone curt and aggressive. 

Jamie’s eyes widened as he immediately sensed the hostility. His head darted between Troy and Nathan, unsure of how to handle the tension permeating between the two boys.

“Woah,” he laughed awkwardly. “Calm down, Troy. Don’t tell me the steroids have shrunk your patience along with your balls…”

Any attempt Jamie had made to ease the tension had been ignored as Troy continued to stare Nathan down. 

“Let me ask you this, Nathan,” he continued. “What the hell were you doing with my girlfriend last night?”

“Wait,” Jamie interjected before Nathan could respond. “You were with Jack last night? Are you kidding me, Nate?” 

Nathan eyed the two boys, his anger beginning to simmer in the pit of his stomach. 

“Hey,” he responded finally. “She followed me, okay? I didn’t ask her to go anywhere.” 

“What? Where she did follow you to?” asked Jamie, confused. 

“I went to Blackwell last night. I was gonna see…Max, and then Jack showed up out of nowhere. All we did was talk and then we headed back to school. It really isn’t that big a deal, and I don’t appreciate this jerk trying to make a mountain out of a fucking mole hill.” 

Troy gritted his teeth, “Listen Prescott, I’m not deaf or blind. I know the shit that you get up to, everybody at this fucking school does, which is why you have no one but Jamie to back you. So can you blame me for being worried about my girlfriend spending time with some deranged creep?” 

Nathan’s rage began to rise like a kettle reaching its boiling point. His fists clenched tightly as he allowed the familiar feeling to overcome him, identical to how he felt the night that he beat Logan Robertson to a pulp. Nathan was fuming but he hadn’t allowed the anger to swallow him whole yet, so with the small semblance of control that he had left, he willed himself to take a deep breath and stop his fist from colliding into Troy’s smug face. He couldn’t afford another slip-up like that, especially not over some jock he had just met and a girl he did not even have feelings for. 

“I honestly couldn’t care less about your joke of a ‘relationship’,” he spoke, his tone disturbingly quiet and placid. “But seeing as you think you know so much about me, then you should probably also know that I’m not somebody that you fuck with. So keep that hero-complex bullshit away from me.” 

Troy moved in closer to Nathan, not breaking eye contact once. He towered over him, but Nathan was not the slightest bit intimidated. He knew what would befall this Neanderthal if he continued to push him, and as troublesome as it would be for him if he and Troy actually came to blows, he could not help but think about how sweet the satisfaction would be to have his fist bash repeatedly against his skull. They continued to stare each other down for a few moments before Troy smirked and backed away. He picked up his backpack and shot Nathan one final glare before walking away.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Prescott…” he called out to Nathan before disappearing amongst a sea of students.

Jamie sighed, “What the fuck just happened, Nathan!?”

“You saw what happened…I didn’t do shit but he still pushed me. I can’t fucking stand it when people push me.”

“He’s my best friend, Nate…" 

“I don’t care if he donated you a kidney, Jamie!” Nathan replied, agitated. “You can’t possibly blame any of that on me!”

“Calm down, Nate. I get what you’re saying… I swear he is never usually like that… Jack just brings out the worst in him.” 

“That wasn’t Jack. That was all him and his massive ego…” 

“Whatever, Nate. Just promise me that you’ll try to get along with him. He’s been my friend for years and it would mean a lot to me if you two got along,” said Jamie as he toyed with his nose ring nervously. 

Nathan couldn’t help but feel a tinge of guilt as his stare lingered upon Jamie’s forlorn face. His cousin was trying to make an effort to ensure that Nathan was happy in his new environment, and he had just thrown it back in Jamie’s face. It was starting to seem that nothing that he did was ever right. 

“Whatthefuckever…I’m sorry, okay? I’ll try and apologise next time I see him…”

He raised his fist pointedly at Jamie, waiting for his cousin to return the lame gesture. Jamie tried to maintain his taciturn expression, but Nathan could easily detect the elation underneath his furrowed brow. His face eventually relented as his lips spread into a full-blown grin, and he lightly tapped his fist against Nathan’s.

“Come on,” he said as he tugged Nathan’s arm. “Let’s go bitch about life and possibly buy you a new jacket…do you ever wash that thing?”

* * *

Nathan sat with his legs crossed and arms folded on the edge of his bed, staring intently at the vial on the desk in front of him. Spending the afternoon with Jamie had momentarily lifted his spirits, and strengthened his resolve to finally dispose of the cocaine. However, his earlier willpower had dissipated almost instantly upon coming face to face with the narcotic. It would be so easy for him to crack under the pressure and snort a bump. He was completely alone and the only person that could stop him was not there to hold her freckled nose up at his actions.

Every time that he was alone, his thoughts zeroed in on Max as though he were stranded in the desert and she was the last drop of water in his canteen. The emotions that she triggered inside of him had gone from yearning to anger, and his resentment was primed to eclipse any measure of affection he had felt for her in the last week. The uncertainty of why she was absent taunted him, debunking any chance of him acquiring the good nights sleep that his body craved. Where was she? Why hadn’t he heard from her in a week? And why was he too much of a coward to put an end to the silence himself?

This school was eating him alive, Max was nowhere to be found, and every night he came closer and closer to losing the war he had waged within himself. The pressure of his circumstances began to surge through his veins, and he felt powerless to stop his hand as it moved instinctively towards the vial. The feeling of the frosty glass in between his fingers caused his hand to shudder uncontrollably so he clasped it tightly in his palm so that it wouldn’t fall to the floor. His legs felt weak as he pulled himself up from the bed and took a seat at the table.

He unscrewed the cap and tilted the vial slightly so that the white powder fell gingerly across the smooth surface of the dark oak desk and into a perfect vertical line. He screwed the cap back on and swallowed as he gently placed the vial back onto the table. Nathan removed a bill from his wallet, his hands sweaty and clammy as he began to roll it into a cylindrical shape. He brought the rolled up bill to his nose, his nostrils already burning in anticipation. He leant his head down, stopping only a few centimetres from the white line before shielding his left nostril with his finger as he primed himself for the intake.

A knock to his door caused the bill to fall haphazardly from his clutches as he released it in shock. His eyes travelled from the door and then back to the line, weighing his options as though they both stood on even ground.

* * *

Max hugged herself tightly as she walked back to her dorm room from the library, her chunky history textbook nestled safely between her chest and her thin arms. She could hear the faint sounds of music emanating from a car radio playing in the distance. It reminded her of Nathan, fast in tempo, with a strong and almost austere emphasis on the bass that resounded in the air around her. Before she could begin to wonder who would be playing music so loudly at this time of night, it was suddenly cut off, paving way for the hushed melodies of the night to become more audible. She felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips as the trees rustled around her and an owl cooed in the distance. There had always been something so mystical about the nights at Blackwell. During the day, the town was reticent and serene, aside from the idle chatter of its residents. But during the night, when there were no words to fill the air, her surroundings became alive around her.

She continued her trudge back to the dormitories, feeling a pang of guilt as she allowed her mind to wander back to Nathan. She recalled the last time that they had seen each other. She had been too emotionally spent from her confrontation with Chloe to offer him anything more than a handful of half-hearted responses. Max had witnessed the hostility that she evoked inside of him when she griped about the demise of her friendships. She cared about him a lot, but by the same token, she also cared about the relationships she had fostered before he had formed such a strong presence in her life. She needed space to clear her head, to adjust to the new norm that this relationship had forced her into and she was grateful to him for affording her the space that she required.

She knew that she wasn’t being fair, but so much had happened and she didn’t know how else to deal with it. She did not want to compound Nathan’s problems, he had already seemed anxious about starting at Dresden Hall, and she only hoped that the time they had spent apart had allowed him adjust accordingly to his new surroundings.

Maybe he’s forgotten all about me…

The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, stopping just a few metres away from the Prescott Dormitory to check if he had bothered to send her anything. There were no missed calls, no new messages, no new emails and not one notification from any of her social media outlets. She swallowed, the feeling of emptiness increasing as her eyes continued to linger on the screen. She moved slowly towards a nearby bench, unloading her textbook onto its surface with a loud thump before she took a seat.

She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore. She wanted space and she had gotten it, but she never would have accounted for how sobering the feeling of complete desolation would be. Even the thought of his shrill voice cursing at her on the other end of line brought a strange warmness to her insides, but she didn’t want to use him as a crutch to heal her loneliness. She vowed to make the most of the space that he had given her, hoping that she could come back to him, stronger and more accepting of their relationship.

She scrolled through her contacts and stopped when she saw Chloe’s name flash across the screen. She held her breath nervously as she allowed her thumb to press down. It was a shot in the dark, but at least nobody could accuse her of not trying. Listening to the dial tone was agonising, but in actuality, she knew her nerves were for naught. Chloe had not responded to a single message that Max had sent her in the last week, there was no way she would answer a call in the middle of the night from somebody that she was clearly trying to avoid.

“Yo,” spoke a dreary voice on the other end. It caught Max off-guard, and despite the cold, she found herself start to sweat in panic when not one response had formed on her tongue.

“C-Chloe? It’s M-max, I-“

“Oh fuck…that’s the last time I answer a call without checking the caller ID first… I’ll catch you later, Max…"

“N-no, wait!” Max pleaded, her tone strained and desperate. “Please don’t hang up.”

Chloe sighed. She sounded feeble and uncertain, a significant contrast to the heated and irate Chloe that Max had been privy to last week. Oddly, it made Max even more despondent. Chloe was passionate and fiery, it wasn’t like her to sound so deflated, and it was painful for Max to know that she had been the catalyst for this.

“What could you possibly have to say, Max? There is nothing that will get me to change my mind…”

“Are we really not going to get past this, Chloe? I care about you so much, I just want us to get back to the way we used to be.”

Chloe laughed, “You really don’t get it, do you?”

Max was silent. She didn’t know if Chloe expected her to answer, but she knew that anything she had to say would be inadequate.

“You were my best friend…” Chloe continued. “That means a lot to me, and I don’t just throw that term around haphazardly. I never would have done anything intentional to hurt you, and I thought that you felt the same way.”

“I do, Chloe! I would never – “

“No but you already did, Max. See, the thought of even rubbing elbows with somebody who has caused you nothing but pain never even once occurred to me…But you went beyond that when you started dating somebody who held a gun to my face.”

Max’s eyes stung as she willed her tears not to fall. She knew that once that first droplet escaped from her ducts, the rest would follow like the rush of a waterfall. Her gut wrenched as her body filled with foreign ache. It was the first time she had truly considered the extent of Chloe’s disappointment. It had been easy for Max to get distracted by the profanity and screaming when Chloe was angry. It allowed her reaction to be portrayed in Max’s mind as merely irrational, something that could easily be tempered by time and a few choice words. But now there was no yelling and no swearing, just Chloe calmly and rationally explaining how much Max had hurt her and not offering any senseless aggression that she could take refuge behind.

“I’m so sorry…I really don’t know what else to say…” Max offered, her voice breaking with each syllable.

“There really is nothing that you can say, Caulfield. Just take care, and be strong when he inevitably fucks you over.”

* * *

The breeze feathered against her face, stimulating every nerve ending under her skin and invoking the feeling of resurgence throughout her. The thought of being locked inside of a classroom seemed almost unbearable now that she had been acquainted with the resplendence of the afternoon. Her index finger twitched as she clasped her camera and her eyes eagerly scanned her surroundings. Everything had been bathed in the light of the afternoon sun, making every inch of space around the lighthouse so effortlessly picturesque. She could no longer contain her excitement as she edged closer to the top of the path, the dry leaves and twigs being crushed by the weight of her sneakers was like music to her ears.

  
Being here never failed to ignite a surge of nostalgia through her, causing her skin to prickle as all of her memories flooded back. This was where her journey had begun and ended, and now she returned still as flummoxed and alone as she had been when it started, despite all that had transpired since. She gazed at Arcadia Bay as she stood at the cliff’s peak, admiring the soft-orange hue that had draped itself over the town’s landscape. The shot was easy, requiring Max to expend little to no skill in ensuring that the photograph came out flawless.

She took a step backwards, shifting her focus behind her as her eyes were immediately drawn to the Bigfoot graffiti displayed on the side of a nearby structure. She immediately thought of Dana, her dedication to what that symbol represented was telling of the devotion she had to her friends, even sticking by Juliet after she had thrown unfounded and ridiculous accusations her way. Max expected a confrontation when she approached Dana in the halls just three days prior, intent on explaining herself and her relationship with Nathan. She was surprised when Dana just hunched her shoulders in response, her countenance gentle as she consoled her but still managing to convey her apprehension and disapproval.

_“I’ll admit I was taken aback… but I’ve had time to think about it and I have no right to judge, Max. You stuck by me during the whole pregnancy thing, and it’s the least I can do. It’s just… Logan could have been the father of my baby, he’s a dick but we share so much history together. That could have all been for nothing if Nathan hadn’t stopped hitting him… I just hope you know what you’re doing.”_

Max had been powerless in the face of another warning against the troubled scion to the Prescott fortune. These constant admonishments of his behaviour were beginning to weigh on her. She thought she knew what she was getting herself into when she bore herself to him that afternoon at the beach. She had been so resolute then, but now she began to wonder if maybe she had bitten off more than she could chew. Her logic dictated that she keep her distance, and her natural instinct was to push him away. But she couldn’t discount the part of her that missed him when he wasn’t around, the feeling was an intensity she had never encountered before. She was in love with him, but was that enough?

Regardless of the unrest Dana’s words had caused her, she was still grateful that the cheerleader had not ghosted her, which was more than she could say for Warren. He ignored each and every one of her efforts to contact him, even going so far as to avoid eye contact with her when they passed each other in the halls. Warren had been a pillar of comfort to her, somebody that she could rely on despite all of the craziness that went down. In the other timeline, he did not hesitate to believe her when she divulged her time travelling powers to him, even if the ordinary reaction would have been to question her sanity. Even before their moderately disastrous movie date, she had known how he felt about her; she would have to be in complete and utter denial to think otherwise.

While they hadn’t yet come to physical blows in this timeline, at least not to Max’s knowledge, Nathan and Warren had always shared a deep animosity and hatred towards one another. Admittedly, a large part of it could be attributed to Nathan’s cruelty towards Warren. The two were so drastically different from one another that they did not share one common ground in which they could form the foundation for a potential friendship, and Nathan liked to wield his self-proclaimed superiority like a weapon against Warren. Max didn’t owe him anything, but she knew that seeing her be anything other than hostile towards somebody that constantly put him down had hurt Warren, and the least she could have done was try to avoid that.

Mulling over the collapse of her friendships made Max weak at the knees. She sought support from the bench overlooking the ocean, leaning back against the hard wood as she allowed the exquisite view to sedate her. Her phone interrupted her brief solace as it started to ring and vibrate inside her of bag. Max’s eyes lit up as she saw her parent’s names light up on the caller ID. It had been a while since she had spoken to her parents, and she realised that she had yet to reply to the last text message they sent her a couple of days ago. She was half-surprised that they hadn’t put out an AMBER Alert for her disappearance, given how overprotective they were of their only child.

“Hey Mom…and Dad if you’re there too…which I know you are,” Max giggled into the receiver.

“Hey, honey,” her Mom replied sweetly.

“Hey, little one!” she heard her Dad call in the background. “How are ya?”

“Yes dear, is everything okay?”

“Everything’s great, Mom. Still the same old high school drama, you know how it is.”

“Oh don’t I ever,” her mom giggled cheerfully. “So everything is fine?”

“Yep! I promise!”

“That’s a relief, Hon. Because, you see… I was trying to ascertain a reason as to why the one person I experienced twenty-three hours of labour for to welcome into this world was ignoring my text messages,” Vanessa said calmly, her tone laden with ice.

Max shivered at her mother’s sudden change in demeanour, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in the mood of the call.

“U-um I-I’m so sorry, Mom. I – “

“MAXINE CAULFIELD, YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK! WHY DIDN’T YOU REPLY TO ANY OF OUR MESSAGES!? THE THREE OF US ARE A TEAM, YOU CAN’T GO OFF ON YOUR OWN LIKE THAT. YOU MAY BE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD MISSY, BUT THAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO INDUCE US INTO AN EARLY GRAVE!”

Max had to remove the receiver from her ear in order to prevent herself from going deaf from her mother’s loud ramblings on the other end of the line.

“Come on, Vanessa,” chimed her father in the background. “Let’s give Maxine a little bit of credit. At least she’s okay!”

“You know, your father told me to leave it for a few more days. He thought that maybe you needed a little bit of space. I tried to hold out for as long as I could but you already have too much space from us, Max, and we miss you.”

Max sighed, “I miss you too, Mom. Really… I think about you and Dad a lot. I wish you both could come here to visit soon.”

“Me too, Honey. How is Lisa?”

“Still alive and kicking!”

“Oh that’s a relief!”

Max didn’t have the heart to tell her that the only reason Lisa had still maintained life was because she had been constantly tended to by a boy that Max had been cohabitating with for a week. She didn’t have the heart, and she most certainly did not have the nerve.

“Hold on sweetie,” her Mom continued. “Your father is practically wrestling the phone from my hand.”

“Hey, Kiddo!” spoke her father’s loud booming voice.

“Daddy!”

“Tell me everything, my little Ansel Adams. What have you been up to?”

She recounted her days to her parents as they listened on intently, leaving out a few choice experiences that had befallen her in the last few months. She missed hearing their voices and assuaging their worries. Max loved her parents so much, and was grateful for all of the support and care that they showered her with. But she couldn’t ignore the feeling of detachment that resonated within her.

Ordinarily, a conversation like this with her parents could immediately transport her back to the comfort and safety of her home in Seattle, where she would share meals with her parents while the Stormhawks game played in the background, making her feel more content and at peace than anything else in the entire world. But something was different this time. She didn’t know if she could attribute it to the distance, or the fact that she was growing up, but the feeling of home was no longer there. 

* * *

Max had made it back to the dorms just in time for dinner and was welcomed by the sight of Zachary Riggins being pushed out of Juliet’s room, shirtless and laughing. He wriggled himself into the white tank top he had been holding in his left hand, slinging his striped hoodie over his shoulder before he leaned in to plant a kiss on Juliet’s mouth. Before it could get too intimate, she pushed him away playfully and told him that they would pick up where they left off another day. Zach sighed with mock disappointment before bidding her a farewell and walking towards the door.

“Yo, Max. What’s up?” he called to her as they passed each other in the hall.

“Clearly nothing as exciting as what you’re up to, Zach…”

He snickered, “We can’t all live the Bigfoot life… Peace out, Super Max!”

Juliet giggled as she watched the interaction from her door.

“Sorry you had to see that, Max,” she apologised, a blush creeping up to her cheeks.

“No problem at all, Juliet. But are you cereal? I thought Zach was in the doghouse!”

“I know…I know. He really fucked up with Victoria, but don’t worry! I’m definitely putting him through his paces. He isn’t getting anywhere below the equator anytime soon. Not until he makes it up to me.”

“Over share!” Max laughed. “But that’s great! Make him work for it! Show him who is in control.”

“Totally, Max. Trust me, you don’t have to tell me twice. I just figured that… well we are teenagers, when are we ever going to get to be this unreasonable again? Plus, the heart wants what it wants, right?”

* * *

Of all the people who had offered her words of wisdom throughout her eighteen years of life, she never would have imagined she’d finally act on something that Juliet Watson had said. Juliet wasn’t exactly stupid, despite her dubious taste in men, she was sharp and eloquent, never failing to produce an article for the school newspaper that didn’t combine witty undertones with compelling subject matter. Juliet was smart, but her and Max had never been close. Heck, she had even had to resort to using her rewind powers to figure out Juliet’s surname.

Despite this, something about what Juliet had said had struck a chord in Max and before she knew it, she was sneaking into the palatial grounds of Dresden Hall, asking an array of pampered and privileged students the directions to Nathan Prescott’s dorm room. After experiencing a multitude of snickers and curious stares, she had finally found her way to his door. She extended her fist and began to knock before her nerves got the better of her, her sneakers shuffling against the hard wood flooring as she awaited a response. Aside from the shuffling she could hear on the other side of the door, Nathan had not extended any other signal to let her know that he was inside so she knocked again.

“Jesus, fuck… I’m coming.”

He finally opened the door, his stare vacant and detached as it lingered over her for a long, agonising period. Slowly, he brought his arm up and pressed his fingers down on his nostril, in a strange gesture that Max could not comprehend at all.

“H-hey…” she muttered as she gazed at him curiously, trying to discern why he seemed so off.

He shook his head and furrowed his brows as he tried to focus his eyes on hers, as though he were struggling to get a grip on reality. There was something very strange about his demeanour that Max was finding hard to ignore, but in a moment of positivity, she attributed it to him just being weird about the two of them not speaking for a while.

“What are you doing here?” he asked her coldly, throwing Max for a loop as she was slightly taken aback the abrasive undertone of his voice.

“I-I umm… can I come in?”

He grunted, muttering something inaudible under his breath before he opened the door completely and stepped aside to let her in. As she made her way inside, she took a moment to inspect his new accommodations. The room was roughly the same size of the room he had at Blackwell, if a little bigger and complete with its own ensuite bathroom. Max was envious, she often theorised that her life would substantially improve if she didn’t have to share a bathroom with half of Blackwell’s student body.

“Your room is nice,” she offered lamely, suddenly sheepish at her stupid attempt to ease the tension.

Nathan didn’t respond. He moved towards his desk, running his hand along its surface before he sat down on the chair tucked into it. He beckoned for her to sit across from him on his bed, and she did, nervously wiping her palms against her jeans before she took a seat.

“What are you doing here?” he repeated, his voice still cold and clipped as he stared at her, his face completely bereft of emotion and focus.

“I guess I deserve that… Umm I just wanted to see you, I guess? I’m sorry I’ve been a bit absent. I needed time to clear my head.”

“Is it clear?”

She thought about the question, wanting to answer as sincerely as she could.

“Honestly? No, it’s not. I-I told Chloe about you and I… it didn’t go over so well. We aren’t – She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

She expected him to be angry, to get up and start pacing the room as he chastised her for being stupid or weak. But contrary to her expectations, Nathan remained calm and sedate. He reached over and put a hand on her lap, offering her a small look of sympathy before he spoke.

“Fuck,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry to hear that…”

“Wowsers, I mean…you’re catching me off guard here. I didn’t think you’d react this way, given how pissed you were at me griping about Warren and Dana,” she responded, her clear blue eyes wide with incredulity.

“Yeah, and they can still get fucked. They’re just being petty… they’ll get over it eventually. But that punk bi - Chloe is different…I know how much she meant to you.”

Max didn’t know how to respond. He had left her truly at a loss for words. She would have been more prepared if he had yelled at her, but yet again he had shown her another side of himself that she didn’t know he had. It almost made her forget about how bizarrely he had acted earlier, or the fact that he had wiped his fingers against his nose four times in the last few minutes .

“That really means a lot, Nathan. I thought – “

“Caulfield, I can’t do this fucking ‘will they won’t they’ bullshit anymore,” he interrupted suddenly, his tone and demeanour laden with frustration. “If you’re out, just fucking say so….”

Max swallowed and dropped her gaze the floor. She knew it would come to this, but stupidly she hadn’t thought about what she would say. She figured it would be easy to come up with something in the moment, but as she looked upon Nathan’s sunken face, she cursed her naiveté for letting her think that it would be that easy.

“You know…” she said. “So many people have told me that I’m making a huge mistake with you and I’m not going to lie…I was inclined to believe them.”

Nathan scoffed in response and ran a hand through his hair. His knee started to bounce up and down rapidly as he flashed her a strangely amused look. Max could tell that he wanted to interject, but decided against it at the last minute when his eyes searched her face and saw that she was nowhere near finished with what she had to say.

“But I got a call from my parents,” she continued. “And talking to them felt kinda… off. Like, too much had happened that they didn’t know about, and I didn’t feel as comfortable confiding in them as I used to. It wasn’t until I got back to my dorm that I realised that the conversation with them didn’t feel like it does with you…”

Nathan laughed. It wasn’t the same laughter that Max had grown accustomed to in all of the time that they had spent together. This laugh was distant and shrill, almost maniacal as it seeped into Max’s ears and sent a shiver through her spine.

“Well lucky fucking me,” he responded sarcastically. “Make my day and tell me that at least counted for something before you ultimately decided to fucking ghost me.”

Max shook her head dismissively, “You can be a jerk and laugh about it all you want. But I’m dead serious when I tell you that it counts for everything. I don’t know when it happened but you started to feel like home to me…and I can’t fucking think of anybody I’d rather talk to right now than you…”

Her words immediately wiped the strange grin from his lips as he began to absorb the gravity of her words. His jaw shook as he clenched it, unsure of how to react. But eventually, Max could see his features begin to relax as a soft sigh escaped from his lips.

“Okay… so talk then,” he shrugged, offering her a small smile.

She grinned and moved forward to hug him, entirely preoccupied by the progress that they had made that she couldn’t perceive him try to steady the almost imperceptible twitch of his arm as he used it to return her show of affection. Nathan missed the feeling of her warmth against him, sending currents of electricity through his body. He had missed her, but as much as it disturbed him to admit, Max did not feel like home to him. Their conception of home was too different. The intense blaze of his senses coming to life under the effects of the drug felt like home. The overpowering feeling of euphoria that he tried to downplay felt like home. His submission felt like home, and for the first time that week he considered the prospect that maybe her absence hadn't been root of his problems all long.


	11. My Boy Builds Coffins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaack. 
> 
> Many apologies for the long hiatus. I wish I had a better excuse than just needing a break but then i'd be lying. Thank you all for your continued support and for bearing with my laziness <3

_“My boy builds coffins, he makes them all day but it’s not just for work and it isn’t for play. He’s made one for himself, one for me too and one of these days, he’ll make one for you.”_

_-_ My Boy Builds Coffins, Florence and the Machine

* * *

“Come on, Courtney. Who would you fuck, marry and kill? Just answer quickly, don’t even think about it.”

“Okay fine, Taylor. Kill Evan, fuck Hayden and marry Luke.”

 Taylor’s eyes grew in awe as she peered at her friend from behind her straw coloured bangs.

 “Wait, Courtney… did you just say that you would  _marry_ Luke? Luke Parker?”

“D-did I say Luke? Fuck, total brain fart. I-I totally meant that the other way around…” Courtney stuttered, nervously chewing away at her cuticle. “I’d obviously marry Hayden, because of the hotness and killer weed hookup, duh. I’d revenge fuck Evan for being a pretentious douche and I’d umm, kill Luke… I-I swear , I – “

The air rippled with Taylor’s unabashed laughter. No longer concerned with maintaining a pokerfaced exterior for the sake of her friend, she continued to chuckle at the prospect Courtney holding even the slightest semblance of affection for the weirdest boy in their grade.

“Oh my god, Court! You are totally freaking blushing! Don’t be shy… You know what they say, opposites attract,” she sang, throwing her friend a mischievous wink.

Courtney launched a pillow in Taylor’s direction, praying the trajectory of her throw would result in the Egyptian cotton colliding with her friend’s smug face, and wiping the Cheshire Cat sized grin from her pale pink lips.

“Oh like you’re one to talk, Taylor! At least I didn’t have a sex dream about Warren Graham!”

The hue in Taylor’s cheeks deepened as her eyes grew wide. Her brain worked in overdrive, trying to formulate an equally biting retort. But all of her wit and even her ability to form mere sentences had been swallowed whole by absolute mortification.  

“You weren’t supposed to tell anybody that!” she gasped. “T-that was… I-I was…”

The sound of her friends bickering went through Victoria’s ears like mere background noise, identical to the way that she registered crickets chirping in the night or the sound of the wind howling outside of her window. She could detect the irritation in their tones, but their words might as well have been gibberish. Her attentions were focused elsewhere, transfixed on Max Caulfield as she sat idly on a bench outside of her bedroom window. Her hands were wrapped around her camera as it rested atop her lap, but her wide azure eyes were vacant as she gawked at the empty space in front of her.

Her demeanour would have appeared tranquil enough to the general observer, but Victoria had a knack for peering straight through the exteriors that others erected. It was this talent that allowed her to hurt people in the most painful ways possible. Her insults weren’t baseless, they played upon the delicate foundations that crafted the insecurities of those that she held disdain for. Victoria knew that it was wrong. She knew that it was cruel. But the talent had formed as a subset of her personality and she would oft times find her mouth operating separately from her will.

Max had always been somewhat withdrawn from the social scene at Blackwell Academy, preferring to immerse herself in her own world of photography and science fiction, rather than attend parties and socialise with the rest of the Blackwell student body. She was Victoria’s polar opposite in this regard, but had never once gone so far as to completely isolate herself from every single person in her life. Aside from the few pleasantries she had exchanged with Kate and Dana over the last few weeks, Max had not even made the slightest attempt to seek out their company like she had before. She even noticed the tension permeating between her and Warren whenever they were both in the same room as one another. The fact that neither had or would speak one word to each other was particularly suspicious to her - as it was plainly obvious to anybody that Warren would sell his kidney for even the slightest chance to brush shoulders with the waif.

Max had always relished her space, and the reprieve that photography and solitude could afford her. But she also enjoyed the closeness and intimacy that her small group of friends could bring her and only a fool would not be able to discern how much she valued the those friendships. However, the Max that had walked aimlessly around campus the last few weeks and the Max sitting outside of Victoria’s window and staring blankly into space was a completely different person. This Max barely even acknowledged the existence of those she supposedly considered her closest friends and failed to notice the looks of concern these people shot her everyday that she passed them in the halls. This Max had been so consumed in her own thoughts that she had completely withdrawn from her life at Blackwell, leaving behind a mere shell of who she once was.

Victoria should not have cared. Truthfully, her cognition of the entire situation should not have been as acute as it was. But nevertheless, she felt somewhat responsible for Max’s shift in mood, as she knew the exact catalyst for it. When Nathan had finally disclosed his relationship status with the pixie hipster, despite her personal opinion on his new paramour, Victoria felt happy that her best friend had finally found someone that had the potential to impact his life in a positive way. But at the time, she did not consider the consequences it would have on Max, and now she was being confronted by it on a daily basis.

Nathan Prescott had a strong and undeniable presence. Whether he was your friend, enemy or lover, he had an uncanny ability to wreak havoc in your life if any willing host allowed him to. He and Victoria had been friends for years, she knew how to handle his temperament but it could never be classified as an easy accomplishment. She could see Max’s entire persona being swallowed by Nathan, along with every facet of her life before they had gotten so close with one another. She had never been a friend of Max’s, and as much as she cherished her friendship with Nathan, she knew that he was kidding himself if he thought that he could maintain a functional relationship with anybody while still harbouring the issues that he had. Despite her differences with the object of his affections, she knew that Max deserved better.

“Oh my god, Tori! Did you hear what Taylor said!” she heard Courtney screech in the background.

Victoria tore her eyes away from Max’s solemn figure and shot her friends a cold and unwavering stare.

“Would you two basic bitches shut the hell up!” she told them irritably. “Both of you sound like two feral cats in a bag!” 

“Maybe if you weren’t so spaced out, you could’ve mediated the whole situation…” Taylor responded, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah… What are you even looking at, Tori?” Courtney asked, edging closer to Victoria and peering through the window. “Max? What the hell? Why are you so fascinated with that hippie pixie dream unicorn all of a sudden?”

“Don’t call her that…” Victoria retorted instantly, setting her sights back on Max as the freckled brunette stood to sling her backpack around her shoulders and trudge off into the distance. 

“Huh? Since when are we not allowed to rag on Max? Is it cause she’s dating Nathan? Because I honestly still don’t know what he sees in her…” 

“Because you both are so unoriginal, it’s starting to make me vomit. Only I can rag on Max, you two are simply unworthy.” 

“What!?” Courtney and Taylor said in unison. “ _We_ are unworthy of… _Max Caulfield_?” 

“You heard me,” she winked, smirking at them. “Now come on, I’m craving a smoke like nobody’s business. Grab the deck and lighter, Courtney. Then you can both fill me on what  _awful_ taste in men you have.”

* * *

Every aspect of Dresden Academy represented something that was so different to every characteristic of Max’s persona. The stately buildings that towered miles above her head exuded the prominence and opulence that only extravagant wealth could bring. The students that congregated around her as she made her way inconspicuously through the courtyard emanated an aura of superiority, despite being dressed in entirely casual attire. She eyed a pair of suede loafers in the corner of her eye, scuffed and worn but Max could wager that they alone cost more than the laptop she had spent nearly a year trying to save up for. The unfamiliarity had daunted her at first, but as she continued to isolate herself from, not only her fellow Blackwell students, but any semblance of the life she had before, the unfamiliar surroundings of Dresden Academy slowly started morph into her new reality.

She stopped in front of the thick wooden doors that lead into the boy’s dormitory, yanking the earphones from her ear and cramming them into her pocket against her phone. She was startled when a long arm snaked past her shoulders and pushed one of the swinging doors open before she could. A tall boy with broad shoulders and dark auburn hair came into view, flashing Max a megawatt smile as he held the door open for her with one muscled arm. 

“Oh, thanks,” she told him sincerely, offering a small smile in gratitude.

“It’s my pleasure!” he responded. “I’ve seen you around a couple of times. You aren’t a student here though, are you?”

Max laughed, “Is my peasantry that obvious?” 

“N-no! I-I really didn’t mean it that way! I’m not trying to be a jerk, I just know almost everyone that goes here. Are you a new student or something?” 

She shook her head, “no not new. My umm… b-boyfriend goes here. I’m just here for a visit.”

The feeling of referring to Nathan Prescott as her boyfriend was still so foreign to her and never failed to make her skin tingle with nerves. The last few weeks that they had spent together, wholly consumed by each other's presence, had solidified everything that they had failed to define before. Knowing that she was not alone in their relationship had been reassuring to Max, but it had also triggered a subtle shift in Nathan's behaviour. His moods were less erratic, but this also seemed to strip him of his outward sincerity and Max could not help but feel that she was not entirely privy to the inner workings of the person that she was supposed to trust more than anybody else. 

“Ahh, I get it. Well he’s a lucky guy that you go through all this effort just to see him! I’d be lucky if my girlfriend could even show up to one of my soccer games…”

Max chuckled, immediately disarmed by the boy’s natural charisma. 

“Oh, my name is Troy by the way!” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Troy. I’m Max.”

“So who’s your guy? I might know him,” Troy asked curiously. 

“Nathan Prescott. He …transferred here pretty recently.” 

Within an instant, the relaxed grin on the boy’s face vanished and was immediately replaced by a scowl that revealed the deep lines running through his forehead. 

“You mean to tell me…” he began slowly. “That asshole actually has a girlfriend?” 

“Oh…” Max sighed, dejected to find out that Nathan had made yet another enemy. “I take it you know him then?” 

The boy looked away, not concerned with trying to hide his annoyance as he flicked a stray mahogany lock from his eyes. 

“Look, do me a favour and tell Prescott that he should probably be spending more time with you than trying to scam on my girlfriend, okay?” 

Confusion shot through Max like a bolt of lightning as she stood with her mouth agape and watched Troy slink past her and into the dormitory. Her thoughts kicked into high gear as she tried to disseminate all of the information he had just thrown at her. 

_Who was Troy?_

_Why did he hate Nathan so much?_

_Who was his girlfriend?_

_And why was Nathan supposedly ‘scamming’ on her?_

Through gritted teeth, she trudged up the stairs and into a long hallway lined with closed doors, her mind abuzz with an influx of new concerns. 

Stopping at the third door on the right, she knocked and was immediately greeted by the sight of Nathan Prescott’s pearly whites as he smirked at her from the other side of the doorframe, one long arm hovering above her head leaning against the sturdy oak door. Her eyes travelled down, immediately drawn to his shirt. It was jet black and boasted the words ‘DEATH TO ALL HIPSTERS’ in blood red spray paint. Mockingly, he arranged the fingers on his left hand into the shape of a gun, pressing his index and middle fingers against her forehead and mouthing the word ‘boom’ as he pretended to ‘shoot’ her. Max knew that he was joking, but she was already irate from her encounter with his dorm mate and did not care to entertain his crass sense of humour. 

“Very funny, Nathan,” she groaned, pushing passed him.

“What?” he asked, feigning innocence as he shut the door behind her. “Do you not appreciate my attire or something, Crackfield?" 

“Yeah, not so much…Pres…skank.” 

He cocked an eyebrow at her, “wait, did you just call me  _Presskank_?”

“Well it’s apparently quite a fitting moniker. Is there something that you need to tell me?” she asked him pointedly, folding her arms across her chest in frustration. 

He grinned, stopping within a few centimetres from her frame. His arms slinked around her waist as he brought his mouth to her ear. The gesture sent shockwaves up her spine but she was adamant in trying to exhibit resistance against his advances. 

“Why don’t I just show you how much of a skank I can really be…” he whispered, feathering the nape of her neck with his lips. 

Her knees buckled, but she summoned all of her might and placed both of her hands firmly on his chest. 

“N-nathan, stop… I just got here…” 

“So you can dish it out but you can’t take it?”                                                       

She wriggled from his grasp and planted an abrupt kiss on his lips before pulling away and shaking her head defiantly. He held his hands up in defeat and stepped back. 

“I have to say, Crackfield, you have become an exceptional kisser.”

“Oh yeah?” Max grinned proudly. 

“Yeah. I mean, for somebody who was practically the Virgin Mother incarnate before I met them.” 

“Hey!” she retorted. “I’ll have you know that you’re not even the first person that I’ve kissed!”

She brought her hands to her mouth instinctively, as she recalled the fleeting feeling of Chloe’s lips pressed against her own.  

“Warren doesn’t count,” Nathan scoffed. 

“Who’s to say that it was even a guy?” 

His mouth hung open immediately, the shock painted across his face betraying the icy cool façade that he ordinarily tried to maintain. 

“I-It w-was – umm a g-girl?” 

“Wow, Nathan Prescott is at a loss for words. I never thought I’d witness this day.” 

His eyebrows creased as he grunted, pushing past her and taking a seat at his desk. 

“Calm down, Crackfield. You just took me by surprise, that’s all. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you…” he said quietly, taking a sip from the glass of water sitting atop a coaster on his desk. 

“Oh!” Max exclaimed, darting towards him. “Can I steal some? I’m parched.”

She plucked the glass from his hands, bringing the rim up to her lips to take a swig. A burning sensation began to trickle down her throat as the liquid came into contact with her mouth. Max yanked the glass away from her lips as she sputtered, her body’s natural reaction to the offensive taste of the liquid that she now knew was not water. Wiping the remnants of the alcohol from her lips, she slammed the glass back down onto Nathan’s desk and shot him an accusatory glare.

“Fuck! Dammit, Crackfield – why did you have to do that?!” 

“Nathan, what the hell was that?” she asked, incredulous at the fact that he had the nerve to be annoyed with her. “Why are you drinking vodka in the middle of the day?” 

“It’s not  _just v_ odka…It’s Belvedere,” Nathan shrugged, his nonchalance irking Max even further. 

Exasperated, she collapsed backward onto his bed. She closed her eyes and brought her hands up to her temples. 

 _Just breathe,_ Max told herself, trying to get a handle on the anger that welled inside of her. 

“That’s not funny, Nathan…What the fuck has been up with you lately? Why are you day drinking? I just... I feel like there is this disconnect between us."

“I-I – “ Nathan stammered, trying to wrack his brain for a reason that would not incite Max any further. For once in his life, Maxine Caulfield had left him speechless. He had been too accustomed to watching her grit her teeth and swallow her feelings, that her petulance towards him had taken him by complete surprise . He could not blame her for feeling frustrated. The truth was, there had been a disconnect between them. In an effort to suppress his withdrawals and hide the truth of his relapse from her, he knew that he had not been acting like himself and with each hour that they spent together, Nathan could not help but feel like he was lulling Max into a false sense of security. To his relief, and before an appropriate lie could form on the tip of his tongue, the door to his room burst open and welcomed a highly intoxicated Jack into the confines of his room. 

 _Great_ , he thought to himself.  _Just what this situation needs…_  

“Nateyyyy!” she announced as she entered, bourbon haphazardly spilling from the flask in her hand. She slung her arm around Nathan’s neck and pulled him into a headlock. Their bodies twisted as Nathan attempted to free himself from her grip until Jack had finally set her sights upon Max, awkwardly watching their playful scuffle from her position on the bed.   

“Ohhh fuck,” Jack giggled, eyes darting between the two as she released Nathan from her clutches. “Did I interrupt something?” 

Nathan rolled his eyes, trying to smooth his tousled hair. 

“Yeah you did… but somehow, I know you don’t really care so why don’t you just tell me what you want.” 

Max could immediately detect the familiarity between Nathan and this girl. She spied the corner of his mouth curve into a smirk as he folded his arms across his chest and stared at the girl pointedly. Hostility and abruptness dripped from his tone, but Max could discern from the glint in his eye that Nathan was wholly amused by his exchange with this girl. A familiar and unpleasant sensation began to course through her body, identical to what she felt every time Chloe would gush about how sensational a person Rachel Amber had been. 

In her mind, Max pictured a green-eyed monster manipulating her brain like a marionette, causing her to grab a fistful of his linen with each of her hands as she balled her fists into his mattress. She didn’t have to ask either of them for clarification to know that this girl was who Troy had referred to earlier, and while her and Nathan were not doing anything that warranted such hostility from Max, the mere fact that he addressed her in such a playful and casual manner told Max that this girl was probably more than a mere acquaintance to the boy that loved. It also did not help the situation that the girl was at least two heads taller than her, had a killer accent and was altogether breathtaking. 

Taking note of Max’s glare, the girl grinned mishceviously. 

“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Nathan?” she cooed, not removing her forest green eyes from freckled brunette's face. 

Nathan swallowed, feeling slightly uneasy at the surge of tension that had suddenly impregnated the air. 

“Y-yeah umm… Max, this is Jacqueline Westlake… she’s a student here,” he gulped, trying to formulate the quickest way that he could kick jack out of his room. 

“Prescott, I told you to never call me that – it’s  _Jack,_ actually,” the girl told Max matter-of-factly. 

Nathan cleared his throat, “whatever,  _Jack_. This is my um… Max.” 

“Ohhh, so you’re the infamous Max, huh? It’s a pleasure to meet you hot stuff,” giggled Jack. 

She edged closer to Max, shocking everyone in the room when she scooped the brunette into a hug. Max stood there, frigid in her embrace and realising that she hadn’t spoken for at least ten minutes. In an effort to diffuse the tension, she patted Jack’s back awkwardly before finally pulling away. 

“H-hey umm, Jack right? It’s good to meet you…” 

“Wow!” Jack exclaimed, hands on her hips. “So is this the girl you were practically stalking the other n-“ 

“OKAYYY, you can shut the fuck up now!” Nathan choked, cutting her off before she could humiliate him further. 

Max gawked at them, bewildered by their exchange and entirely ignorant to what they were discussing. 

“Anyway,” continued Jack. “I just came here to invite you to the warehouse party tonight, Nath. And now that you’re here, Max, this loser might be able to actually bring a date tonight too! Please come, one of my friends is DJing tonight and needs all of the support he can get. It’s going to be epic!” 

“If I say yes, will you leave?” Nathan sighed. 

“Not because you just told me to, Prescott; only because I have a laundry list of other people left to invite. Cause you know, I actually have more than two friends here and all,” she retorted, teasingly. 

She turned to leave but stopped in her tracks. 

“Oh!” she said suddenly. “Before I forget, the password is: Patrick Bateman. Remember that, kiddos.” 

Nathan rolled his eyes and Jack gave Max a cheerful salute before slamming the door behind her and leaving the couple alone again. 

“Who was that?” Max asked immediately, trying to conceal the irritation in her tone. 

“It’s a long fucking story…but she’s okay. Jamie hates the fuck out of her though…” 

“She doesn’t have a boyfriend by any chance does she? Tall, muscular and kind of looks like Zach Riggins?” 

Nathan cocked an eyebrow at her, “huh? How do you know that douchebag?” 

“I met him earlier, just outside your dorm before I got here. He said some pretty interesting things…he also insinuated some pretty interesting things too.“ 

“About me and Jack?” he questioned, despite already knowing the answer. 

“You tell me. I mean, you clearly already know what I’m getting at, Nathan.” 

His temper began to flare at the mention of Jack’s meathead boyfriend and was only exacerbated by the accusatory inflection in Max’s voice. 

“Look,” he told her abruptly. “I’m not interested in a word that monkey says. He just hates me because his girlfriend gets a kick from watching me squirm. Their shitty relationship is not my problem, it’s theirs, and you shouldn’t make it yours either!” 

Max began to recoil, her natural reaction to Nathan’s outbursts. 

“W-why are you being such a… a…” she stuttered, unable to arrange a thought in her head.   

“A what, Max? What do you want to say?” 

“A…umm..” 

“Say whatever the fuck you need to, Caulfield!” 

“…A goddamn fucking asshole!” Max finally exploded through gritted teeth, grabbing the glass of vodka from his desk and hurling it at the wall. The glass whizzed past Nathan’s head, just inches away from his ear, and shattered into hundreds of tiny shards upon coming into contact with the wall. She paused, trying to regain her composure with each ragged breath that she took.

 _What the hell just happened?_  

She rarely ever allowed herself to be eclipsed by her emotions. Ordinarily, she opted to swallow them, letting them fester inside of her and feed her anxiety. But the frustration that she felt at this moment had boiled over into hysteria and before she could regain control, the glass had already launched from her hand. Everything that had happened to her over the last few months had been too overwhelming to keep inside. She lacked motivation with her photography, her relationship with her parents had turned mechanical, people whom she thought were her closest friends were no longer speaking to her and the only person that she had left was hiding things from her.

Max strained to lift her head, casting an embarrassed glance in Nathan’s direction. Droplets of blood trickled from a small, fresh cut on his right cheekbone as he stared back at her, expressionless.

“Shit… Nathan, you’re bleeding…” she whispered, pulling the sleeve of her hoodie over her hand and pressing it against his cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” she told him. 

He continued to eye her in silence, refusing to break his gaze. She began to feel awkward under the intensity his stare, praying that he would say anything that would break the silence. Even if the next words that came out of his mouth were derogatory, they could at least continue to argue and fight. Anything would be preferable to the uncertainty that she felt at this very moment. She tried to avoid his eyes but something about his gaze beckoned her to meet them. 

Nathan allowed a few moments to pass before he suddenly erupted into laughter, pushing her hand away from his face and pulling her into a tight embrace in one swift motion. Max became arthritic in his arms, unsure of how to respond to this sudden display of tenderness. He bent over, resting his chin on her shoulder and cupping the back of her neck with one hand. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he whispered, increasing the intensity of his grip around her slim physique. 

“W-what? I don’t – “ 

“I didn’t think you had it in you," he continued. "You’re always so fucking meek, I just don’t know how to deal with you sometimes. But this time was different, it was beautiful and so are you. Don’t ever be sorry for that.” 

His words kindled a sense of tranquillity within her, instantly putting her mind at ease. Her body reacted to her change in demeanour and her limbs relaxed in his embrace. She managed a chuckle as she wrapped her forearms around his back, reciprocating every ounce of affection that he had displayed to her. 

“Okay,” she said to the empty space behind him, as they remained cradled against each other in complete silence. 

Minutes passed and neither of them moved. The atmosphere was heavy with emotion, but there was a part of Max that could not help but feel the slightest bit sombre and she could not begin to understand why. 

“So, are you gonna go to that party tonight?” she asked, pulling back slightly so that she could gauge his response.     

“Nah,” Nathan replied. “ _We_  are.” 

* * * 

The warehouse was discretely tucked behind the parking lot of a pawnshop. Nathan approached with caution, afraid of how the impending debauchery would impact on his actions. He expected the silence to be drowned out by the muffled sounds of music and chatter but oddly enough, the quiet of the night remained uninterrupted despite how close they got to the warehouse. 

“That’s weird…” Max whispered, pulling on the sleeve of Nathan’s jacket. “Why can’t we hear anything? I thought this was supposed to be a party?” 

“You got me, Crackfield… I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” 

They stopped in front of a small orange door tucked into the side of the building’s façade. Nathan knocked but received no response. He tried again and again until he let out an exasperated groan. 

“Okay, now I’m bored,” he sighed. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here. Jack is probably just fucking with us or something.” 

“Wait, maybe that’s the way?” 

Max drew his attention to a number of large aluminium garage doors lining the façade of the building. All were shut but the second to the left, which remained open just a few inches from the ground. 

“Come on, Max. You expect  _me_  to lift that?” Nathan asked her, incredulous at the thought of him exerting himself physically. 

“Are your hands just for show or something, Prescott?” she retorted. 

“You, of all people, should know that they aren’t just for show,” he winked, holding them out in front of her face. 

She clicked her tongue and gave him a light shove toward the door. Nathan bent over and prayed that the seven push-ups he had done in his entire life would actually pay off. He clasped onto the edge of the door and pushed upward, allowing for enough room for him and Max to get through. Finally inside, the pair were shocked to find nothing but a poorly lit, perfectly stocked warehouse.     

“What the f – “

“Yo! Can we help you?” called a voice from the distance. 

Nathan’s eyes scanned the room, trying to locate the source of the voice. He eventually spotted two Dresden students passing a joint. He did not know them personally but recognised them from his English literature class. The one who addressed them sat cross-legged on top of a wooden crate attached to the prongs of a forklift. He eyed them behind pretentious thick-rimmed, leopard print glasses, waiting for their response. The other had shaggy ebony hair and sat behind the controls of the forklift, his feet on the dashboard as he lolled his head backwards to release a puff of smoke from his drag. 

“We’re here for the party?” Nathan spoke, his hands in his pockets as he addressed the boy on the crate. 

“Who invited you?” the boy on the crate replied nonchalantly, accepting the doobie back from the guy behind the controls. 

“Jack.” 

“Password for her list?” 

Nathan laughed, shaking his head dismissively. 

“This is so fucking stupid.” 

“Dude, just give us the password or fuck off,” the boy with black hair retorted, annoyed at Nathan’s dismissive attitude. 

“Patrick Bateman,” Max answered before Nathan had a chance to annoy them further. 

“Finally, God _….”_

The boy at the forklift leant over and fiddled with the controls. Before Max and Nathan could discern what was transpiring, the crate attached to the prongs began to slowly lift above the ground. 

“Wow, what the hell…” Max whispered to herself, watching the boy sitting on the crate ascend above both of their heads. 

Underneath the crate was a trapdoor embedded into the concrete of the warehouse floor. Nathan tugged on the circular handle and pulled the door up to reveal a staircase and the sound of music emanating just below them. Nathan grinned, eyeing Max and shrugging before carefully making his way down the stairs. They descended into a narrow stone hallway, the walls just a metre away from their shoulders. Max began to feel uneasy and claustrophobic the deeper inside they travelled. The bass continued to get louder and louder, reverberating off the walls surrounding them. 

They reached the end of the hallway and found themselves on a steel catwalk overlooking a large open space that was filled to capacity with bodies packed together like sardines. From Max’s vantage point, the bodies looked like ants moving and scurrying beneath her. On the other side of the large room, the DJ stood behind an elevated booth, sporting a gas mask and urging the crowd to ‘make some fucking noise’ just before the beat dropped.

Max’s heart began to race. The atmosphere was far more intense than any End of the World party she had attended in any timeline and she was not equipped to be in it with hundreds of people that she didn’t know. She looked to Nathan for comfort but he seemed lost to her, eyes glazed over and gazing into the distance in awe. Everything about their surroundings electrified him. The harsh, violent tones of the music seeped into his veins and pulsated throughout his entire body, awakening every dormant urge within him. He had spent so long trying to separate himself this scene that being in the thick of it again made him feel as though he had finally come home. He wordlessly made his way down the catwalk beckoning Max to join him until they disappeared into the cluster of people on the dance floor. 

Around them, bodies gyrated to the music, with each and every person entirely transfixed by the beat and oblivious to their surroundings. Nathan manoeuvred through them expertly with only one objective in mind. Within a few seconds, a switch in his mind had clicked and all that mattered to him at that moment was becoming one with his surroundings. The demons inside of him had awoken and were rampant with thirst. The further he travelled into the crowd, the more his skin began to prickle with anticipation. He could hear his name being called somewhere in the distance but he could not afford to stop. 

 _Nathan!_  

He forced his eyes shut and scratched at his ear, hoping that it would make the sound of his name go away. 

 _NATHAN, WAIT!_  

Beads of sweat began to trickle from the sides of his forehead and his head started to spin. He opened his eyes but the strobe lights were harsh against his retinas. His heart beat against his chest violently, making each of his breaths more desperate than the last. He knew exactly what had befallen him, but the withdrawals had never been this severe. His recent relapse only amplified his symptoms by forcing him to remember exactly what he had been missing. His knees felt weak but before they could give, a collision to his back propelled him forward into two girls in mid-make out. 

“What the fuck!” they both yelled at him in unison. 

An arm locked around his neck, pulling him backwards into a bear hug. Nathan twisted out of the embrace, trying to put some distance between himself and the offender. When he found his footing, he came face to face with Jack, staring back at him and sporting a wide grin. The distraction caused Nathan’s breathing to return to normal and slowly he began to regain his composure. 

“Yes!” she cheered. “I’m so glad you two came!” 

She reached into the crowd behind her, pulling a startled Max Caulfield into view and wrapping her arm around the timid brunette’s shoulder. Relief washed over Nathan as he laid eyes on Max, partly because that was the natural response that she prompted whenever he looked at her, but mostly because, for a split second, he had completely forgotten that she was even with him and was relieved to see that she was okay. 

“J-Jack, hey,” he managed. “Can’t believe you put something like this together.” 

“Excusez moi? I’m a fucking institution at this place, Nathan! Of course I’d set something like this up.” 

Max laughed, despite still feeling slightly uncomfortable around Jack. 

“It’s good to see you again, Jack… Thanks for saving me back there… this one walks way too fast for me,” she said trying to muster up some cheer to mask her annoyance towards Nathan for leaving her behind. 

“It’s sooo good to see you too, babe! Let’s grab a drink and cut some damn rug!” 

Jack lead them to a nearby bar, motioning to the bartender who immediately began preparing their drinks. Max took a moment to familiarise herself with her surroundings, hoping that taking it all in could ease the tension building inside of her. Knowing that she was distracted, Nathan grabbed Jack’s arm and pulled her in. 

“I-I need something. Anything,” he whispered, continually eyeing Max to make sure that her attentions were focused elsewhere. 

“Define ‘anything’, Nathan,” Jack giggled, twirling a lock of her hair around her index finger teasingly.

“I don’t have time for your fucking games, Jack. You hooked me up last time, you’ve gotta have something on you now.” 

“Actually, Prescott you’re shit out of luck. I’m plumb out,” she shrugged, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I can make a call for you, but my guy has a lot of deliveries to make tonight so I’m not sure what time he’d even get here.” 

“Fuck!” Nathan exclaimed a little too loudly, pummelling his fist onto the surface of the bar. 

Max jumped, staring at Nathan questioningly with wide, cerulean-hued eyes. The look that she threw him was accusatory and demanded an answer for his sudden outburst. 

“Shit, sorry… Can you two wait here? Don’t move, I’ll be back in a second. I just need to…take a leak,” he told her, trying to evade any eye contact. 

Max nodded, mystified as she watched his back disappear into the crowd. Something was wrong with him. His mood had shifted instantaneously upon setting foot into the underground part of the warehouse. When she had tried calling for him before, he had completely ignored her as though he did not register her presence at all. He just continued to move through the crowd like a zombie and it disturbed her. She had almost lost sight of him until she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Jack smiling warmly at her and if it hadn’t been for that chance encounter, Max was sure that she probably would have lost Nathan in the crowd completely. 

Despite feeling awkward and uncomfortable around the lithe, ebony-haired beauty, Max couldn’t help but feel thankful to her for at least that, and her earlier feelings of hostility for Jack were slowly starting to ebb. They attempted to converse whilst waiting for Nathan to return, Max appreciating that Jack didn’t just pick up and leave her there the second that Nathan disappeared. But Max was also too distracted with thoughts of speculation as to why Nathan was acting so cagey, that she couldn’t properly invest herself into their conversation. Her eyes continually scanned the room, trying to find him before she finally gave into the nagging voice inside her head that told her that she should leave. 

* * * 

Nathan paced fervently up and down the length of the bathroom, struggling to keep his urges in check. 

 _Act normal,_ he told himself.

 _Act normal._

_Act normal._

He repeated those words to himself in a continuous cycle, hoping that if he reinforced them enough within his psyche, they would conjure up enough power to completely alter his current state. He knew that he was letting Max down, that every minute his mind was occupied with thoughts of his next high, he was going back on his promise to her. But things were never going to be that easy and the lure was too strong. All that he could do for her now was to appease it, and then he could at least maintain a semblance of normality for her.

 _I’m doing her a favour,_ he rationalised. 

The faint moans emanating from a nearby stall all throughout his episode had finally come to a halt and were replaced by the rustle of clothing. Nathan banged on the stall door, not sparing any regard for what had just transpired inside. 

“What the hell?!” exclaimed a voice from inside. 

“I’m sorry!” he called to them desperately. “I don’t care who you are but I need drugs. I’ll fucking pay anything you want, I just need something!”              

The lock on the stall clicked open and a shirtless boy with a gaunt face poked his head out from behind the door. 

“So do you have anything?” Nathan asked. “I’m fucking fading here, man.” 

“Sorry, bro,” the boy answered, walking out of the stall with a girl in gothic garb in tow. “Just patrons in here. We don’t supply shit.” 

Nathan watched them leave hand in hand before he turned and slammed his fist into a mirror above one of the sinks, reducing it to a heap of shards. 

“Fuck…” he whispered to himself. 

He leant over the sink, ignoring the blood seeping from the cuts on his knuckles. He couldn’t even register the pain, just the nausea in his head and the ringing in his ear. If he couldn’t satiate his thirst, he needed to leave and remove himself from the toxicity of this atmosphere. He splashed some water on his face and pushed the bathroom door open, the hairs on his arm standing on end as he stepped back out into the madness. Perusing his surroundings as best as he could in his current state, he managed to spot Max at the opposite side of the room from him, clutching at a nearby wall as though she were trying to keep her balance. He pushed through the crowd, desperate to reach her as he continued to watch her struggle. 

As he drew closer, a sense of dread washed over him. Max did not acknowledge his presence and her head lolled to the side lazily as if her neck were made of jelly. An image of Rachel Amber, bound and dazed, flashed across his cognizance, sending chill throughout his entire body. He lunged for Max immediately, supporting her limp body in his arms. His heart raced with panic when he lowered her to the ground, her arms and legs lazily slung over his arms as he cradled her. Her eyes were half-open but her stare was cold and vacant. He lurched forward as his insides twisted with grief, trying not to gag as he came to the realisation that her gaze resembled Kate’s from the night that he drugged her. 

“Max…” he pleaded, stroking her hair and shaking her body desperately. 

_Max, what happened to you!?_

A tear fell from his eye and onto Max’s cheek whilst she lay motionless in his arms. With one hand still supporting her head, his other travelled down to her wrist and searched for a pulse. His breath caught in his throat the instant that he felt it beat slowly against his thumb and out of desperation, he reached for whoever was closest to him. In a desperate bid to garner their attention, he yanked their arm downwards. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he heard a voice above him ask.

“Help,” he told them, not bothering to take his eyes away from Max. "Somebody, please… Help her!”


End file.
